Yet when guys dress in lingerie and sing songs from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show', it's a good thing for homos.

After internalizing the message from Bareback Mountain (1. Sodomy is good, clean fun. 2. Sodomites are faithful, clean, respectful, and normal. 3. Sodomites are not depressed and don't do drugs. 4. Nobody could possibly get hurt if married men put their you-know-whats in other men's you-know-wheres.) as the effeminate elites demanded, some frat boys learned the second-hardest way that you just can't please some perverts.

This story comes (sorry) from PlanetOut Network, which seems to be some kind of "news" service for practitioners of non-Euclidean sex. Clever boys. What will they think of next?

SUMMARY: Four University of Vermont frat members are slapped with $1,000 fines after an incident that parodied the movie "Brokeback Mountain."

Four fraternity members at the University of Vermont have been ordered to pay $1,000 fines under Vermont's anti-hazing law after being charged in an incident that parodied the movie "Brokeback Mountain."

Wow. Fined $1,ooo apiece for a movie parody? That must have been some bad satire. The humor nazis are closer to power than even I imagined. No wonder Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny in decades.

Campus police issued civil citations Friday based on 20 witnesses' accounts of pledges being forced to wear cowboy clothes and suffer homophobic insults at a March 2 party at the Phi Gamma Delta house, the Burlington Free Press reported -- accounts the frat's alumni advisers have denied.

Now I get it, kiddies. Having never wasted their money by actually watching the movie, the frat boys mistakenly believed the movie was about sexual perversion and mortal sin when all the reviewers knew it was about love and male bonding and massive bleeding.

As normal boys will do, they proceeded to mock an entire universe of activities that make normal boys cringe. They are lucky they weren't executed for their monstrous hate crime.

"What they did, which I felt was homophobic in nature, was inappropriate," campus Police Chief Gary Margolis told the Free Press.

"There was underage drinking, furnishing alcohol to minors and there was hazing, based on what we learned."

Police singled out fraternity officers Scott Curley II, 18, and Eric Freedman, Bill Holohan IV and Geoffrey Robinson, all 20, saying they should be held accountable.

Despite Vermont's anti-hazing law, the Chittenden County State's Attorney's Office decided not to file criminal charges.

"I feel that the case would be better dealt with in context of a university judicial review," said Deputy State Attorney Ed Sutton. "It was clear there were actions that could be offensive to some people, but there was no intention by anyone to be hurtful."

Jean-Marie Nazetta, a spokeswoman for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, disagreed with Sutton's assessment.

"I think it was pretty clear that this was something 'hurtful,' " Nazetta said. "If you substituted a movie about women, it would have been hurtful. They were using something that was a landmark film for us to mock people."

If you think that's hurtful, honey, you should be forced to watch what your son does to the guys he professes to "love".

Speaking of which, you did a nice job on the phrase "landmark film". It won't be able to walk right for a month.

Vermont lawmakers passed the anti-hazing law in 1999 after members of the university's hockey team were accused of forcing freshman players to drink warm beer until they vomited and to parade holding each other's genitals in an "elephant walk."