The Retrumplican purge of the real conservatives from HIS Party has begun.

Donatella Trumpsky says he will unify the Repansycans, except of course for the "nasty" people in the party. Please allow me to translate for those of you who don't yet speak Thuglish.

A nasty person is: 
 
1) Anyone who dares to defy the Magnificent Trumpsky
2) Anyone who realizes Trumpsky is a madman and a pervert
3) Anyone who knows Trumpsky only cares about three things - HIS bank account, HIS genitalia, and HIS stomach

So you're telling me I've got a choice between a right-fascist madman with a tiny penis and a left-fascist closeted lesbian arch-criminal? I opt out.

I am #NeverTrumpNeverClinton.

I am, like Glenn Beck, #AlwaysConstitution.

If you think you're conservative and you support Donatella Trumpsky, you might be a dumbass, but you are definitely a right-fascist big government thug who is living in the fantasy world of 19th century mercantilism. Stop co-opting the word "conservative", grow a pair and admit what you really are. In a word, have the courage of your sick, anti-human convictions. Your god is Death and slavery is your sacrament.

I have given up on the idea of an American caudillo in the nmanner of Francisco Franco. [Look him up. Learn and comprehend.] A thug, and a vicious one at that, but still a man of principle. We can't even manage that. Our thugs are just thugs and proud of it. They wallow and revel in their thuggery. Our men of principle are cowed into sullen silence. Principles are not enough. One needs courage to live them.

If you think Hitlery Rodham Schicklegruber is a feminist heroine and a victim of the vast you-know-what, you might be a dumbass as well, but you are definitely a left-fascist big government thug who is living in the fantasy world of the 1960s where Stalinism and Maoism are the only two options for thinking, caring people. Look at the blood dripping from your hands and lips and admit what you are. In a word, have the courage of your sick, anti-human convictions. Your god is Death and slavery is your sacrament.

I opt out, kiddies. I will not vote for either of these two monsters. They are nearly identical. [Hitlery has bigger hands and Trumpsky looks better in pantsuits.] Don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils. It is merely evil and I am tired of voting for evil. Choosing a supposedly lesser evil is what has brought us to this sorry state. And don't you dare bitch to me when your particular utopia doesn't appear.  I promise you it won't. [That is one of two things I know for certain. The other? We real conservatives will be blamed for whatever horrors do occur.]

I will do my best not mock you and laugh at you as you are devoured by the insatiiable maw of your god. I will pray for the salvation of your immortal souls, but I will not be able to offer any other aid. I will be among the first to be stripped of everything by the new order that is coming. I will not have a crumb of food or a drop of water for my loved ones or myself, but I fear you will still blame me for not having anything but prayer for you. Some day you will understand how great a gift that is.

I am going farther underground, kiddies, deeper into the catacombs. I have no faith in men. I have no faith in technology. Manifest destiny is no more. There is nothing to the west of here that is free of fascism. There is nowhere to run.

I shall take refuge in the One, True God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I shall throw myself at the feet of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost and beg for His mercy, which is as infinite as His justice. I urge you to do the same, kiddies, because I love you all. [Even though I wouldn't want any of you coming over to my place and messing up my stuff and drinking all my beer. Love's where I draw the line.]

May God have mercy on all our souls.

Trumpsky Picks Up 3 Delegates From Area 51 Caucuses.

It's official. Donatella [Gender is fluid, kiddies, especially when you gotta pee.] Trumpsky is a madman. Not just quirky or senile or bravely politically incorrect. Not even spoiled and narcissistic. He is stark raving looney.

Live on what passes for TV this morning he accused Ted Cruz's father of being part of a conspiracy to kill JFK.

Bigfoot could not be reached for comment because he is a Canadian.

May God have mercy on our souls.