I know there are more important things going on in the world, kiddies, [For instance: Joe Sobran, one of our true Catholic and conservative intellectuals died a few weeks ago. Please pray for his immortal soul.] but I just could not resist this one.
The mind boggles, kiddies. It really does.
As much fun as it is to head to your doctor’s office or a clinic to get tested for an STD, it looks like there might be a slightly more private and comfortable option on the horizon. A group of organizations in the UK have combined to produce over $10 million in funding for research related to inexpensive portable STD test. The test consists of a single-use USB dongle [Huh?]-sized component containing a microchip. Once urinated upon, the device connects to a mobile phone or laptop and tests for herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea with instant results.
Oh, if only this wizardry had existed during King Goober II's reign! The White House would have been a much safer place. For dongles, that is, not women.
The tests would be distributed through vending machines in UK nightclubs, among other places, and would cost less than $2 each. [Oi, you mind pissing on me mobile before we have a go, love?] It is almost a given that more private testing options will lead to more frequent testing and, hopefully, to safer behavior. Let’s just hope that once this great new mobile STD testing technology hits the market in the UK, it spreads quickly.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Spreads quickly, get it?