From the people who brought the NFL to Jacksonville, it's Zodiac Expansion!

Ophiuchus - The 13th Sign of the Zodiac

The 13th sign of the zodiac, unlike the other 12 signs is actually associated with a real person. In the 27th Century BCE in Ancient Egypt lived a man known as Imhotep. Imhotep was known as ‘Aesclepius’ by the Ancient Greeks, however the attributes are the same under either name.

Wait a minute... isn't that the creepy mummy dude who tried to whack Brendan Fraser?

Arnold Vosloo

...

High Priest Imhotep

One of Imhoteps abilities was healing and it is said that it was he who introduced it to mankind. His accomplishments also included a wide knowledge of medicine. The serpent or snake symbol which is still used today to symbolize the medical profession was also used to represent Imhotep. Below is a list of attributes associated with the Serpent Holder, Imhotep i.e Aesclepius. The descriptions below are associated with the 13th sign - Ophiuchus.

• Many people are envious of this subject as he progresses well throughout life.
• A seeker of wisdom and knowledge [Yeah, right.]
  
• Many people are jealous of this person [That's a bit redundant, eh, kiddies? See bullet point # 1 above.]
  
• Tends to go for the more flamboyant in dress sense, favouring bright colours. [Uh-oh. Flamboyant.]
  
• Authority looks upon him well. [Fascist.]
  
• Would make a great architect or builder. [Ayn Rand, call your office.]
  
• Number 12 is this persons lucky number. [That should help Ophiuchuleans win the Powerball drawing every time.]
  
• This person will have a big family but leave home at an early age. [In this era of Big Contraception and 26 year olds on their parents' insurance policy? I think not.]
  

This is the Zodiac as some astrologers believe it should be:

ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR WHATEVER REMNANT OF HUMANITY EXISTS IN THE YEAR 6710 [I KNOW WE ALL HOPE AND PRAY OUR BLOGS WILL STILL BE READABLE THEN.]:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ADD A NEW SIGN TO YOUR ZODIAC. IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE THE HEAD OF A MAN OF MIXED RACE WITH ELEPHANTINE EARS, FANGS THAT DRIP BLOOD, AND IT SHOULD VOMIT EXCREMENT PERIODICALLY. IT SHALL BE CALLED DUMBOCULOUS AFTER THE GREATEST LAWGIVER OF ALL TIME. KIDDIES BORN UNDER THE SIGN OF DUMBOCULOUS WILL LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, AND KILL TO ACHIEVE PEACE AND HARMONY.

They saved Hitler's brain!

Scientists find 34,000-year-old organisms still alive

It's a tale that has all the trappings of a cult 1960s sci-fi movie: Scientists bring back ancient salt crystals, dug up from deep below Death Valley for climate research. The sparkling crystals are carefully packed away until, years later, a young, unknown researcher takes a second look at the 34,000-year-old crystals and discovers, trapped inside, something strange. Something ... alive.

Thankfully this story doesn't end with the destruction of the human race, but with a satisfied scientist finishing his Ph.D.

"It was actually a very big surprise to me," said Brian Schubert, who discovered ancient bacteria living within tiny, fluid-filled chambers inside the salt crystals.

Salt crystals grow very quickly, imprisoning whatever happens to be floating - or living - nearby inside tiny bubbles just a few microns across, akin to naturally made, miniature snow-globes.

"It's permanently sealed inside the salt, like little time capsules," said Tim Lowenstein, a professor in the geology department at Binghamton University and Schubert's advisor at the time.

Lowenstein said new research indicates this process occurs in modern saline lakes, further backing up Schubert's astounding discovery, which was first revealed about a year ago. The new findings, along with details of Schubert's work, are published in the January 2011 edition of GSA Today, the publication of the Geological Society of America.

Schubert, now an assistant researcher at the University of Hawaii, said the bacteria - a salt-loving sort still found on Earth today - were shrunken and small, and suspended in a kind of hibernation state.

"They're alive, but they're not using any energy to swim around, they're not reproducing," Schubert told OurAmazingPlanet. "They're not doing anything at all except maintaining themselves."

The key to the microbes' millennia-long survival may be their fellow captives - algae, of a group called Dunaliella.

"The most exciting part to me was when we were able to identify the Dunaliella cells in there," Schubert said, "because there were hints that could be a food source."

With the discovery of a potential energy source trapped alongside the bacteria, it has begun to emerge that, like an outlandish Dr. Seuss invention (hello, Who-ville), these tiny chambers could house entire, microscopic ecosystems.

Schubert and Lowenstein are not the first to uncover organisms that are astonishingly long-lived. About a decade ago, there were claims of discoveries of 250-million-year-old bacteria. The results weren't reproduced, and remain controversial.

Schubert, however, was able to reproduce his results. Not only did he grow the same organisms again in his own lab, he sent crystals to another lab, which then got the same results.

"So this wasn't something that was just a contaminant from our lab," Schubert said.

The next step for researchers is to figure out how the microbes, suspended in a starvation-survival mode for so many thousands of years, managed to stay viable.

"We're not sure what's going on," Lowenstein said. "They need to be able to repair DNA, because DNA degrades with time."

Schubert said the microbes took about two-and-a-half months to "wake up" out of their survival state before they started to reproduce, behavior that has been previously documented in bacteria, and a strategy that certainly makes sense.

"It's 34,000 years old and it has a kid," Schubert said. And ironically, once that happens, the new bacteria are, of course, entirely modern.

The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy strikes again!

AP: 355 die in Brazil slides, survivors relate horrors

From Reichstag fire to Nuremberg rally in just four days!

After failing to pin a mass murder on those who dare to disagree with him, Benito Insane Okhrana turns it into a campaign stop.

Obama urges nation to honor youngest Ariz. victim

AP – TUCSON, Ariz. – President Obama exhorted Americans to refrain from partisan bickering and urged the country to embrace the idealistic vision of democracy held by 9-year-old Christina Taylor Green, the youngest Arizona shooting victim and an aspiring politician...

Which is appropriate, because Dumbo the Presiphant [An Asian presiphant, of course. An African presiphant would be racist.] treats everybody like they are retarded children. [When he's not mocking the Special Olympians, that is.]

If only Rep. Giffords, Judge Roll, and everybody else was carrying a gun [and knew how to use it], the killer might not have gotten off a shot.

How Do "Unstable" People Access Guns Like Those Used in Giffords Shooting?

We know how Gabrielle Giffords shooting gunman injured 18 people and killed six at a Tucson, Ariz., shopping center Saturday. What we don't know is how a mentally unbalanced man, declared 4-F for military service, was able obtain the weapons in his possession. There is a simple answer and a more complicated answer to this question.

ContributorNetwork via Yahoo! News - Jan 11 02:14pm

• Details Emerge in Giffords Shooting - US News & World Report
• Suspect in Giffords shooting acted alone - The Washington Times
• Suspect in Arizona shooting held without bail - The Argus-Press
• all 168 news articles…

Al Gore, call your office.

1. Snow now in 49 states

   Thanks to unusual weather patterns, there's snow on the ground in 49 out of 50 US states, including Hawaii.

   The Christian Science Monitor - 1 hour, 37 minutes ago

   • Weather Rarity: Snow in 49 States - LiveScience.com via Yahoo! News
   • 49 States With Snow; Who's the Hold Out? - FOX 2 News St. Louis
   • Snow in 49 States: Snow in 49 States Including Hawaii - The Epoch Times
   • all 17 news articles…
2. 49 states have snow, with Florida the only holdout

   Winter storms shut down most of the South and dumped snow across the Northwest, forcing flight cancelations and snarling traffic.

   Houston Chronicle - 2 hours, 24 minutes ago

   • New England Buried Again; Snow Now On Ground In 49 States - NPR
   • There's Snow in 49 States [Weather] - Gawker
   • Winter storms over the past week have brought snow to all the states except one - WEAU Eau Claire
   • all 10 news articles…