Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 11/5


Atlanta (-5.5) at Detroit
I think the Falcons are due for a bad game. Fortunately for them, they're playing the Lions. Take Atlanta.
FINAL: Lions 30 Falcons 14 - Fyodor loses! (Thanks a heap, Mike Vick!)


Cincinnati (+3) at Baltimore
The Bengals pull off a minor road upset. Pick Cincinnati.
FINAL: Ravens 26 Bengals 20 - Fyodor loses! (Chad Johnson is the AFC's T. O.)


Dallas (-3) at Washington
Washington stinks and I have no faith in Tony Romo. I would stay away from this one if I were you, kiddies. But, since I'm me, I'll take the Cowboys.
FINAL: Redskins 22 Cowboys 19 - Fyodor loses! (T. O. is a pathetic little man.)


Green Bay (+3) at Buffalo
What? Favre is still playing? Look out, Buffalo. Pick The Pack.
FINAL: Bills 24 Packers 10 - Fyodor loses! (ACK!)



Houston (+13) at NY Giants
That's a lot of points. Take the Texans.
FINAL: Giants 14 Texans 10 - Fyodor wins!


Kansas City (+3) at St. Louis
I'll go with the Rams O to cover the 3.
FINAL: Chiefs 31 Rams 17 - Fyodor loses! (I am so ashamed...)


Miami (+13.5) at Chicago
How cold will it be in Chicago on Sunday? Heck, it could be eighty and sunny and the Bears would still cover.
FINAL: Dolphins 31 Bears 13 - Fyodor loses! (Eek! Rex Grossman changed back into a pumpkin again!


New Orleans (-1) at Tampa Bay
I'll go with the Saints on the road.
FINAL: Saints 31 Buccaneers 14 - Fyodor wins!



Tennessee (+9.5) at Jacksonville
That's a lot of points for the Jaguar's offense...but the Titans are awful. I will reluctantly take Tennessee.
FINAL: Jaguars 37 Titans 7 - Fyodor loses!


Minnesota (-5) at San Francisco
Repeat after me: "The Vikings will cover. Big time."
FINAL: 49ers 9 Vikings 3 - Fyodor loses! (I am so sorry.)


Cleveland (+12.5) at San Diego
This is one of those games to avoid because nobody knows how hard the Chargers will play. If you must, take San Diego.
FINAL: Chargers 32 Browns 25 - Fyodor loses! (They gave up 25 points to the Browns?)


Denver (+2.5) at Pittsburgh
My heart is breaking. Take the Broncos and the points.
FINAL: Broncos 31 Steelers 20 - Fyodor wins! (Yep.)


Indianapolis (+3) at New England
I do not think the Patriots will be able to pressure Manning. Pick the Colts despite their weak defense.
FINAL: Colts 27 Patriots 20 - Fyodor wins!

Monday 11/6


Oakland (+7) at Seattle
The Raiders' win streak ends here. (Unless the refs screw Seattle again.) Pick the Seahawks.
FINAL: Seahawks 16 Raiders 0 - Fyodor wins!