Fyodor's College Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my college picks for this week.


Friday 11/3


Air Force (-6) at Army
I'll take Army and the points at home.
FINAL: Air Force 43 Army 7 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)

Saturday 11/4


Ball State (+33.5) at Michigan
Pick the Wolverines to cover.
FINAL: Michigan 34 Ball State 26 - Fyodor loses! (Looking ahead to Ohio State.)

Missouri (+5) at Nebraska
Only 5? Pick Nebraska!
FINAL: Nebraska 34 Missouri 20 - Fyodor wins!

Maryland (+20) at Clemson
Clemson covers.
FINAL: Maryland 13 Clemson 12 - Fyodor loses! (Nice win for the Terps!)

Penn State (+7) at Wisconsin
PSU shocks the world! (Well, Madison.) Take the points.
FINAL: Wisconsin 13 PSU 3 - Fyodor loses! (Pray for Joe Paterno's quick and speedy recovery.)


Pittsburgh (-5) at South Florida
I'll take the Panthers over a directional school any day!
FINAL: South Florida 22 Pitt 12 - Fyodor loses! (A pathetic loss for the Panthers.)


Florida (-17) at Vanderbilt
Take the guy from F Troop and the points.
FINAL: Florida 25 Vanderbilt 19 - Fyodor wins! (This may be the brightest spot in the whole miserable weekend of picks.)


Navy (-12) at Duke
I'll take Duke and the points.
FINAL: Navy 38 Duke 13 - Fyodor loses! (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!)


Central Michigan (-18.5) at Temple
Sorry, Temple fans. I gotta go with CMU.
FINAL: CMU 42 Temple 26 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)


Arkansas State (+30.5) at Auburn
Take Auburn to win big.
FINAL: Auburn 27 Arkansas State 0 - Fyodor loses!


North Carolina (+24.5) at Notre Dame
NC stinks, but this spread looks too big. Take the Tar Heels and the points. FINAL: Notre Dame 45 UNC 26 - Fyodor wins! (Yep.)



TCU (-20) at UNLV
In the words of Yosemite Sam: "Great horny toads!" Plus, I like typing "Horned Frogs". Pick the Horned Frogs to cover.
FINAL: TCU 25 UNLV 10 - Fyodor loses! (Amphibians! Ha!)


Ohio State (-24.5) at Illinois
I know, I know. The Buckeyes always cover. But not this time! Pick Illinois.
FINAL: OSU 17 Illinois 10 - Fyodor loses! (Looking ahead to Michigan.)


LSU (-3.5) at Tennessee
The Volunteers have screwed up their quota of games for this year. Pick Tennessee.
FINAL: LSU 28 Tennssee 24 - Fyodor loses! (Obviously, somebody upped the quota!)


Arizona State (+2.5) at Oregon State
My Hangover Game of the Week! The Beavers are still celebrating last Saturday's huge win. Pick the Sun Devils.
FINAL: Oregon State 44 Arizona State 10 - Fyodor loses! (That'swhy they call it gambling, kiddies.)


Nevada (-10) at Idaho
It looks like a bad day for the Vandals. Pick Nevada.
FINAL: Nevada 45 Idaho 7 - Fyodor wins!


USC (-28) at Stanford
The Tree pays for last week's USC loss. The Trojans will cover.
FINAL: USC 42 Stanford 0 - Fyodor wins!


Boston College (-3.5) at Wake Forest
Who could have imagined this would be a huge ACC game? Take BC on the road.
FINAL: Wake Forest 21 BC 14 - Fyodor loses! (Another sloppy lossfor the Eagles.)


Oklahoma State (+18) at Texas
Longhorns beat Cowboys, but Cowboys keep it close. Texas will not cover.
FINAL: Texas 36 Oklahoma State 10 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)



Virginia Tech (-2.5) at Miami
The Who Really Cares Game of the Week! Take Tech.
FINAL: Virginia Tech 17 Miami 10 - Fyodor wins!


Oklahoma (-2) at Texas A&M
Take the Sooners on the road.
FINAL: Oklahoma 16 Texas A&M 16 - Fyodor loses!


UCLA (+18) at California
I'll pick the Bears to easily cover at home.
FINAL: Cal 38 UCLA 24 - Fyodor loses!


Rice (+9) at Texas El Paso
Say it ain't so, Fyodor! Sorry, kiddies, I'm picking Rice.
FINAL: Rice 37 UTEP 31 - Fyodor wins! (Yippee!)