EEK! (Part Two)

OMG!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, KIDDIES!!!!!!!!!

OUR MORAL AND INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORS ARE SCREAMING IT AT US AND THEY CANNOT BE MISTAKEN! (Nor could they be pushing their left-fascist political agenda!)


Space.com: Methane Bubbles Make Global Warming Worse
Methane gas bubbles up from Siberian lakes at up to six times the rate previously thought as a result of global warming, a new study suggests. The result: more global warming. As the planet warms, frozen ground called "permafrost" in high latitude-regions like Siberia and Alaska thaws out.

There's this guy who's been in a coma for 25 years. 25 years in a hospital bed.

Then, one day, after 25 years, he sits up wide awake - he's perfectly fine!

The doctors can't believe it...

AP: Scientists see new global warming threat
New research is raising concerns that global warming may be triggering a self-perpetuating climate time bomb trapped in once-frozen permafrost.

They run all sorts of tests on him and there's nothing wrong!

They run the tests again, still, there's nothing wrong with the guy!

It's a miracle, they say. So they discharge him from the hospital.

ABC News: Scientists See New Global Warming Threat
Scientists Find New Global Warming Threat: Melting Permafrost May Release Methane

The first thing he does, he goes straight to the beach, because he always loved the beach.

So, he's walking along the shore when he stops and stares at the waves, because right in front of him, coming out of the surf and walking straight toward him is the most beautiful women he has ever seen. And remember, he hasn't seen a woman in 25 years.

She's tall, with long brown hair, a gorgeous face, a voluptuous body, and she's wearing a skintight wetsuit. Like one of those little Baywatch models, it's cutoff at mid-thigh.

She walks right up to him, smiles, and says "Would you like a beer?"

San Francisco Chronicle: Scientists See New Global Warming Threat New research is raising concerns that global warming may be triggering a self-perpetuating climate time bomb trapped in once-frozen permafrost. As the Earth warms, greenhouse gases once stuck in the long-frozen soil are bubbling into the atmosphere in...

He gawks at her and says "A beer? I haven't had a beer in 25 years! I would love a beer!"

So, she unzips her wetsuit a little bit, pulls out a can of beer, pops the top, and hands it to him.

He starts drinking his beer when she smiles again and says "Would you like a cigarette?"

WIS: Former Bush spokesman takes global warming fight role
Tucker Eskew is one of three former aides to late South Carolina Governor Carroll Campbell now working with New York-based Environmental Defense to map a strategy for stemming global warming.

His jaw drops and he says "A cigarette? I haven't had a smoke in 25 years! I would love a cigarette!"

So, she unzips her wetsuit a little farther, reaches in and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. Then she puts the cigarette in his mouth and lights it for him.

NDTV: Global warming leads to freaky weather
As India reels under freak weather, the question is did we miss the early signs of global warming? Two years ago a study showed that glaciers in the Himalayas were melting rapidly.

Now he's standing there enjoying his beer and his cigarette, when she smiles the biggest and sexiest smile he has ever seen, unzips her wetsuit even farther, and says "Would you like to play around?"

The Burlington Free Press: Global warming activists target Vermont's U.S. House race on global warming
When political candidates stepped up to the stage Monday and pledged to fight global warming, Vermonters had a look at a tug-of-war that's likely to accelerate.

He looks at her incredulously and says "You've got a set of golf clubs in there too?"

The Royal Gazette: Insurers chided over global warming policies
Insurers, whose finances could be stretched to breaking point by climate change, stand accused of doing too little to research global warming or devise products to mitigate its potentially catastrophic effects.Unless climate change slows, insurers warn, years like 2005, when their catastrophe bill topped $80 billion, could become the norm...

Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be here all week.

KXAN: UT Study On Global Warming
A University of Texas study reveals some startling data about Greenland's ice masses and its effects on global warming. "The recent melting rate is significantly larger than before," Dr. Jian Chen, research scientist, said.

Business Wire: U.S. CEOs Overwhelmingly Concerned about Global Warming
Nearly two in three Chief Executive Officers of American small and medium-sized businesses expressed concern about the prospects of global warming, according to the latest Vistage Confidence Index, a quarterly measure of economic, market and industry trends.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

AllAfrica.com: Kenya: Minister Issues Global Warming Alert
The current trends in global warming will have adverse effects on the tourism industry, Environment minister Prof Kivutha Kibwana has said.

WBKO-TV: Global Warming: What Is It?
To understand all this talk about Global Warming, you must first understand The Greenhouse Effect. The Greenhouse Effect is the rise in temperature that the Earth experiences because certain gases in the atmosphere trap energy from the sun.

Smart Growth Online: Columnist Analyzes Gov. Schwarzenegger's Decision to Support California's Global Warming Solutions Act
Unpersuaded by the urgent need to pass the controversial California Global Warming Solutions Act right now, especially since its emission caps won't be enforced before 2012, Sacramento Bee columnist Dan Walters thinks the main reason for this virtual ratification of the ''Kyoto greenhouse gas treaty that the Bush administration has shunned'' stems from Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's...

PhysOrg: Scientist: Adapt for global warming
The British Association for the Advancement of Science says the world must focus on preparing for the "hotter, drier world" that global warming will bring.

The Barre Montpelier Times Argus: Global warming march ends in rally
More than 600 people spanning nearly half a mile marched into Burlington on Monday in what organizers said was the country's largest global warming demonstration to date...

WCAX: Five-day march calls for political action on global warming
More than 600 people spanning nearly half a mile marched into Burlington on Monday in what organizers said was the country's largest global warming demonstration to date. (Emphasis mine.)

Wow. You mean somebody at "Burning Man" was sober enough to file a news story?

PNN: "Global Warming House" Unveiled at Burning Man Festival A new system for building houses, designed for a world beset by global warming, is being introduced at the Burning Man art festival in Nevada. A full-size demonstration house structure is being built by volunteers in a few days, demonstrating the easy, inexpensive process construction.

The Plimsouls were New Wave, too...

PR Newswire: New Wave of Science Links Global Warming, Hurricanes
[Press Release]
A long series of peer-reviewed research articles published since 2005 has dramatically established the link between human-induced global warming and growing hurricane activity, according to leading scientists from the nation's top climate research institutions.

BTW, the sentence above is a lie.