And you thought I was just being mean when I called it Tom Cruise's Scatology Update...

Did somebody mention bad theology and no philosophy?

Fox News: The Treasured Memory of TomKitten's 1st Poop

TomKat may not let you see their baby, but they were happy to have an artist create a bronzed sculpture of her doodoo — or so he says.

Daniel Edwards, the off-kilter artist who shocked many a museum-goer with his extremely detailed Britney Spears birthing sculpture just months ago, says he's created a bronze cast depicting Suri Cruise's first solid stool — and he plans to sell it on eBay for charity, the AFP reports.

The shrouded infant's prized poopy, which sits proudly on a wooden mounting, will be displayed at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, N.Y., before it is auctioned off to benefit the March Of Dimes next month.

"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said.

Kesting said he hopes the work will attract bids of up to $30,000.

So far, the biggest scatological spender has offered $41 for the … um … art.

Suri, the 19-week-old daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, has already been the focus of many a tabloid story questioning everything from her health to her very existence. If the sculpture is the real deal, at least we now know she has a well-functioning colon.

May God have mercy on that poor little girl. It may be too late for her parents...