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Today is the day civilized folks celebrate the great Italian explorer who brought the One True Faith, the written word, and the wheel to the...

"Let no freedom be allowed to novelty, because it is not fitting that any addition should be made to antiquity. Let not the clear faith and belief of our forefathers be fouled by any muddy admixture." -- Pope Sixtus III

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

"Your child's too stupid to understand 'Huckleberry Finn' plus we've heard it has the word 'nigger' in it."

None dare call it book rape.

Real Reads - Classic novels re-written for the 21st Century

Featured Books


Huckleberry Finn - retold by Anna Kirwan
Huckleberry Finn - retold by Anna Kirwan
Mark Twain

Huckleberry may have got himself rich following his escapades with Tom sawyer but now with Jim, a runaway slave Huck must figure out the difference between wrong and right as his life and his freedom are at stake.   This is...
Featured in: 7+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/08/2009
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Tom Sawyer - retold by Anna Kirwan
Tom Sawyer - retold by Anna Kirwan
Mark Twain

Tom Sawyer is a respectable boy in a little Mississippi River town.  Huck Finn is a freedom-loving, neglected outcast.  Join them on an adventure of a lifetime when only courage and quick-thinking on their part will save them.  This is...
Featured in: 7+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/08/2009
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Wuthering Heights - retold by Gill Tavner
Wuthering Heights - retold by Gill Tavner
Emily Bronte

This famous story of Heathcliff and Catherine will thrill you and chill you to the bone.  Real Reads bring this and Jane Eyre to a new audience.  Both of these retellings have been checked for accuracy to the originals by the Collections...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 14+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/07/2009
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Jane Eyre - retold by Gill Tavner
Jane Eyre - retold by Gill Tavner
Emily Bronte

Jane Eyre is poor, parentless and plain, detested by her aunt and cousin; her future looks bleak.  Follow her story as she seeks independence and then eventual peace in the arms of Mr Rochester. Real Reads bring this and
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/07/2009
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Jane Austen: 6 book boxed set
Jane Austen: 6 book boxed set
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

What a treat! All six Real Reads Jane Austen titles in a smart, tidy box. Now you can be the best-read Austen fan on the block with the most enjoyment and the least effort.   The box set contains: Pride and Prejudice,...
Featured in: 11+ readers
Format:
Quantity Pack - Released: 01/03/2009
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Dracula, retold by Chaz Brenchley
Dracula, retold by Chaz Brenchley
Bram Stoker

Can love, courage and goodness defeat the evil thirst of a vampire? In this fight to the bitter end, who will live, who will die, and who will be doomed to a living death? From Shannon, aged 11: 'It's really scary when...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/01/2009
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Let me guess. Ol' Drac is done in by the brave public servants of the National Health Service...or a bunch of lesbians unaffected by his strictly hetero powers.
 
The War of the Worlds
The War of the Worlds
H G Wells - retold by Eric Brown

With the original first published over 100 years ago this retelling of The War of the Worlds will once you've read it make you realise how fragile a world we live in and the threat to extinction hangs over us...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/01/2009
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The Lost World - retold by Chaz Brenchley
The Lost World - retold by Chaz Brenchley
Arthur Conan Doyle

Join journalist Ed Malone on his visit to the terrible lost world discovered by the eccentric Professor Challenger - but can he get back out alive?    From Tom, aged 12: 'It was exciting when the baby pterodactyl came back to England and...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 01/11/2008
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Frankenstein - retold by Gill Tavner
Frankenstein - retold by Gill Tavner
Mary Shelley

When Frankenstein unleashes forces beyond his control, an epic battle of friendship and horror begins between man and monster - and as it reaches fever pitch a tragic chain of events occurs.   From Chesca, aged 10: 'The pictures are so detailed and...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 30/09/2008
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Seriously, kiddies, these books are way too important to mess with. 
'Frankenstein' is a story about the horror inherent in the breakdown of Christian morality in 19th century England's elites as experienced by Mary [Mrs. Percy Bysshe] Shelley.
 
Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde
Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde
R L Stevenson - retold by Peter Crowther

When Dr. Henry Jekyll dares to explore the delicate balance between good and evil, he little suspects the destructive powers he will unleash. Gripping and scary it will send shivers down your spine. This and the other retellings by Real Reads...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 01/12/2008
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The Time Machine
The Time Machine
H G Wells - retold by Eric Brown

The time traveller has invented a time machine.  Its capabilities are beyond even his fertile imagination. Wonderfully exciting and so relevant to today as we all consider the future of the human race.   From Reena aged 12: 'The Time Machine was very...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 01/12/2008
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A Christmas Carol
A Christmas Carol
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

Can somebody so selfish, so harsh and so horribly lonely ever change his ways? In one terrifying night, poor Scrooge is haunted by four ghosts. Will he change his ways? Weep and laugh as you read this much-loved Christmas story....
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 25/11/2007
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 Kwanzaa Karol, obviously.
 
Oliver Twist
Oliver Twist
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

In this gripping tale of kidnapping, shooting and murder, Charles Dickens shows the threats to a vulnerable boy’s existence and asks the eternal question: which is more powerful, good or evil? This and the other retellings by Real Reads are...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 16/11/2007
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"Please sir, may I have more Food Stamps?"
 
Hard Times
Hard Times
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

A disappearing father, an unhappy marriage, a handsome suitor and a bank robbery all bring challenges to Louisa’s life. Will she be able to control her powerful emotions, or will they lead her to ruin? This and the other retellings...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 16/11/2007
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David Copperfield
David Copperfield
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

Can one lonely little boy show the strength and determination to survive the dangers that lie ahead? Charles Dickens presents a world of colourful characters to amuse us, astonish us, disgust us and move us to tears. This and the...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 16/11/2007
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 Strangely, in this one, the famed magician does turn out to be a kidnapper and killer.
 
Great Expectations
Great Expectations
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

Mysteries abound in this superb novel featuring Pip, an escaped convict, the ghostly Miss Havisham, a mysterious benefactor. Pip’s life will never be the same again. But who has given Pip his great expectations? This and the other retellings by...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 16/11/2007
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 Lowered Expectations 'Cause Nobody's Better Than Anyone Else
 
Bleak House
Bleak House
Charles Dickens - retold by Gill Tavner

A family curse, a manipulating lawyer, poverty and secrets threaten to destroy Esther’s world. Are the walls of Bleak House strong enough to protect her and her new friends from such powerful forces? Caught up in an unfolding mystery that's...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 16/11/2007
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 Any house with a father and a mother in it.
 
Mansfield Park
Mansfield Park
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

What a fantastic way to introduce young children to classic literature.  Retellings of some of the best-known and best-loved classics; beautifully presented and skilfully retold (and condensed – 64 pages in total) and illustrated, they are true to the original...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 24/02/2008
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Persuasion
Persuasion
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

Differing from Austen's other novels in adopting a more sober tone, this one describes the ordeals of Anne Elliot, who has been persuaded by her family to reject Captain Wentworth. This and the other Real Reads retellings are a fantastic way...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 24/03/2008
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Northanger Abbey
Northanger Abbey
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

Catherine Morland has little experience of the world. Guided only by the gothic horror stories she so loves reading, Catherine stumbles through her adventures. Will hers be a happy ending? Will she find a hero to share her ‘happily ever...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 24/03/2008
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Emma
Emma
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

Following her governess’s marriage, wealthy, spoilt Emma Woodhouse seeks new company and new amusement. But that gets her into awful trouble...shocking secrets and mysteries to unravel.  With little understanding of her own feelings, can Emma lead anyone towards happiness? Can...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 24/03/2008
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Sense and Sensibility
Sense and Sensibility
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

Will Elinor’s sense be strong enough to support both sisters, or will Marianne’s sensibility bring tragedy? This and the other retellings by Real Reads are a fantastic way to introduce young children to some of the best-known and best-loved classics; beautifully...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers
Format:
Paperback - Released: 14/02/2008
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 If you have any sense, you'll keep you kiddies away from this trash.
 
Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen - retold by Gill Tavner

Misunderstandings, poor judgement, wicked lies, broken hearts, hurtful words.  Will Elizabeth’s prejudice and Darcy’s pride be the ruin of them both? This and the other retellings by Real Reads are a fantastic way to introduce young children to some of the best-known...
Featured in: 11+ readers | 9+ readers | Audio Books
Format:
Paperback - Released: 14/02/2008
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New subtitle: The Story Of The White Race 

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First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

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