Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 10/8


Buffalo (+10) at Chicago
The Bears may really be for real. Pick Chicago.
FINAL: Bears 40 Bills 7 - Fyodor wins! (Calm down, Amy. Your Monsters of the Midway won some games last year, too.)


Cleveland (+8.5) at Carolina
The Panthers don't cover the spread too often. Then again, they don't play the Browns often. Pick Carolina.
FINAL: Panthers 20 Browns 12 - Fyodor loses!


Detroit (+6.5) at Minnesota
I can't pick the Lions. Take the Vikings to cover.
FINAL: Vikings 23 Lions 17 - Fyodor loses! (Drat! The dreaded hook!)


Miami (+9.5) at New England
The Patriots are playing better and Miami stinks. I'll take New England.
FINAL: Patriots 20 Dolphins 10 - Fyodor wins!


St. Louis (-3) at Green Bay
Sadly, I'll take the Rams.
FINAL: Rams 23 Packers 20 - PUSH! (Stupid Rams.)


Tampa Bay (+6.5) at New Orleans
The Bucs must prove to me they can win. Pick New Orleans.
FINAL: Saints 24 Buccaneers 21 - Fyodor loses!


Tennessee (+18.5!!!) at Indianapolis
The Titans are truly awful, but I can't stomach that line. I must take the Titans and the points.
FINAL: Colts 14 Titans 13 - Fyodor wins! (Fyodor must be a genius!)


Washington (+4.5) at N. Y.Giants
I'll happily take the Redskins and the points.
FINAL: Giants 19 Redskins 3 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)


Kansas City (-3) at Arizona
Do the wiseguys know something about this game? Nope. Pick the Chiefs.
FINAL: Chiefs 23 Cardinals 20 - PUSH! (Boring!)


N.Y. Jets (+7) at Jacksonville
Two teams coming off tough losses. I'll take the Jets and the points.
FINAL: Jaguars 41 Jets 0 - Fyodor loses! ("Past performance is not indicative of future results...")


Oakland (+3.5) at San Francisco
The utter humiliation of everyone associated with the Raiders continues apace. Pick the 49ers.
FINAL: 49ers 34 Raiders 20 - Fyodor wins! (Whither Randy Moss?)


Dallas (+2) at Philadelphia
T who? Eagles cover easily.
FINAL: Eagles 38 Cowboys 24 - Fyodor wins!


Pittsburgh (-3) at San Diego
The Chargers' O is no better than the Steelers'. I'll take San Diego and the points and hope the Steelers can pull out a close one.
FINAL: Chargers 23 Steelers 13 - Fyodor wins! (I hate winning games like this. 1) What got into Rivers? 2) No running game, no improvements to the defensive backfield...it seems Coach Cowher has begun to enjoy his retirement mansion in North Carolina. 3) Whither Roethlisberger?


Monday 10/9



Baltimore (+4) at Denver
I'll take Denver and the points. That means everyone should put their money on the Ravens.
FINAL: Broncos 13 Ravens 3 - Fyodor wins! (Silly self-deprecating me.)