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It has been reported (in The ChristLast Media, I must note) that the current Pope does not like the phrase "lead us not into temptation...

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Friday, October 06, 2006

Animal Flesh Recipes of the Day: Special Roast Pig Edition

One of my business partners is having their annual pig roast for friends, family, co-workers, vendors, clients, et cetera tomorrow. I do not know how they roast it, but I do know it tastes marvelous.

For those who will not be able to attend, here are a couple of
PEONWAP recipes from the Food Network.

Roasted Stuffed Pig
Recipe courtesy Jack McDavid


Recipe Summary
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 11 hours


100 pound pig

Stuffing:

10 apples, roughly chopped
1 pound brown sugar
3/4 cup chipotle powder
1/4 cup salt
10 pounds bulk pork sausage
2 large heads green cabbage, sliced


Salt and pepper inside and outside of the pig. Combine stuffing ingredients and fill cavity of the pig. Roast pig over charcoal and hickory wood, slowly for about 10 to 11 hours at 275 degrees.

[Pig roaster available from Bob Moyer -- (215) 257-2710]


Mojo Criollo Roasted Pig
Recipe courtesy La Caja China


Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Medium
Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 4 hours
Yield: 150 servings


Mojo Criollo Marinade:
1 garlic head
6 ounces orange juice
2 ounces lemon juice
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 tablespoon chopped oregano leaves
3 teaspoons salt
4 ounces water


1 (75-pound) pig

Eek! That's only eight pre-cooked ounces of pig for each guest! What do they think we are? French?

Special Equipment:
La Caja China Box Model #1 or Model #2, heavy-duty silicone grill mitts to protect hands when handling hot Caja China Box and parts.


Make marinade:
Peel and mash the garlic cloves. Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl. Let stand for a minimum of 1 hour. Strain marinade and then inject the marinade into the pig. Let marinate overnight, in the refrigerator, for best results.

Open the pork by the belly, but do not cut or poke holes into the upper or side skin. Place the grease tray inside the Caja China. Tie the pig in between the grids, on its back, and place in the grease tray. Close the Caja China with the ash pan and charcoal grid. Allow 4 inches of separation between the roast and the ash pan. We recommend the pork be at room temperature at the time of roasting.

Prepare the charcoal:
We recommend Kingsford Charcoal because it lights faster, burns evenly, and lasts longer. Never use instant charcoal. Start with 14 pounds of charcoal for Caja China Model #1 and 16 pounds for Model #2. Place the charcoal into 2 piles of equal size, on each end of the charcoal tray. Never place charcoal on center of tray. Add lighter fluid and light.

When the charcoal is lit for 15 minutes, distribute it evenly throughout the tray. Once this process is completed, roast pork for 3 hours, without opening the Caja China.

Add more charcoal after 1 hour and distribute evenly throughout the tray.

After 3 hours, wearing heavy-duty silicone mitts, remove the charcoal tray, ash pan, and dump the ashes. Then turn the pork over and cut into the skin, every 4 to 6 inches. Place the ash pan and charcoal tray, filled with new charcoal, back into position and continue the roasting process. Check the skin after 20 minutes, slightly opening the box by 1 of the corners. You can continue this process until the skin's crispness is to your liking. For a pig this large, it will probably require a full hour on its second side.

Remove the pork from the Caja China. Deposit the contents of the grease tray into a container, let cool, and discard with trash. You can slice the pork with a plate; it is not necessary to use a knife.

Amateurs! While it is still warm, sop up the grease with chunks of crusty Italian bread and enjoy it as an appetizer while the pig is being carved. Yum-yum-yum.

This recipe was provided by professional chefs and may have been scaled down from a bulk recipe provided by a restaurant. The FN chefs have not tested this recipe, in the proportions indicated, and therefore, we cannot make any representation as to the results.

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First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

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