Homowood gives Bareback Mountain the shaft. (Sorry.)

Ok, so I didn't see any of this year's Oscar-nominated movies. Big deal. Nobody did.

I did read the book upon which Pride and Prejudice was based some years ago.

That ability to read makes me over-qualified as a movie critic.

After pumping (Sorry.) Bareback Mountain (Read my review here.) for months, the Homowood establishment punked (Sorry.) the last, best hope Little Bisexuality had for mainstream acceptance. You see, Bareback Mountain was a bisexual (Sorry.) puff (Sorry.) piece (Sorry.) cleverly disguised and over hyped as a story of two male sodomite sheepherders in a long term committed (Sorry.) relationship. There was no way Big Sodomy was going to let a bunch of wishy-washy (Sorry.) wannabes who can't swallow (Sorry.) the Big Sodomy agenda whole (Sorry.) (Sorry. I should only have typed "Sorry" there if it had read "hole".) walk away with the big (Sorry.) prize.

In a word, the Non-Euclidean Sex Wars continue apace. Big Sodomy, with its tremendous buying power (Sorry.) and color coordination skills, battles the practically nonexistent forces of Little Bisexuality and their practically nonexistent allies, the Good Looking Lesbians in a never-ending battle for the top (Sorry.) spot (Sorry.). Complicating the whole kerfuffle are the Mainstream Lesbians, who are waging war against everyone.

The only good news? I hear Crash was about anti-black(Sorry.)ism, so nobody will dare criticize its victory.

And now, ladies and germs, I proudly present the last Bareback Mountain reference EVER:

WorldNetDaily: 'Bareback' blasted by animal activists
"Bareback Mountain," the controversial film about homosexual cowboys in love, allegedly had a lack of loving concern for the animals featured in the film.