See if you can guess to which political party Jackie Currie and Kwame Kilpatrick belong.

From WXYZ in Detroit comes this story of dementia, fraud, and immorality in politics.

With one week until Election Day a new investigation raised questions about voting practices in Detroit. Part of it involves absentee ballots and who is casting them.

87-year-old Charles Allen is legally incapacitated from Dementia and Alzheimer’s, but he still cast an absentee ballot in the August primary.
7 Action News cameras filmed as a hospital worker asked him who he voted for and who the mayor of Detroit was. Allen couldn’t remember.
According to a Detroit News investigation, Allen is one of 7 residents at a nursing home in Detroit who is legally incapacitated but still voted in the primary.

Nursing home owner Gena Payne said election workers come to the home and sit in a private room with residents to help them fill out absentee ballots.

Ah, yes. Secret ballots, don't you know. Pillar of democracy and all that.

"I wonder about the whole thing. Really how many people really know who they’re voting for?" said Payne.

City clerk Jackie Currie said the Detroit News is just trying to sell news papers.

"I really don’t know and I’m going to go to that nursing home. Because I believe in checking things out for myself," said Currie.

Somebody's gotta shut them cripples an' crazies the hell up, eh, Jackie?

The newspaper said its investigation also found incorrect voter names and addresses, official primary results turned in several days late and dozens of ballot irregularities.

"We do the best we can here. We’re not perfect, but guess what? We’re 95% perfect and that’s close enough," said Currie.

So that's how you, Chavez, Castro, Saddam, and Brezhnev won those big, big majorities. Imperfection uber alles.

One Detroit voter said her absentee ballot was already filled out when it arrived in the mail.

The votes were cast for Kwame Kilpatrick for mayor and Jackie Currie for city clerk.

At first Currie said she had no idea, "Who told you that? Then let me check that out. Did they leave the names? And I’ll certainly will go over there and see."

And beat 'em upside their heads until they shut up.

But when asked more questions by 7 Action News reporter Michael Rosenfield, Currie acknowledged she knew about the ballot and had gone to pick it up.

And then burn it.

"That’s somebody workin’ in there and I did come pick it up. That’s where I’m comin’ from. Cause when they called and told me that they had a ballot and it was already marked, I wanted to see it myself. I went and picked it up. I don’t have nothin’ to hide. And I’m gonna check on the department where they stuff the ballots. So I don’t know who called you, but I wouldn’t lie about it since you asked me about it," said Currie.

Instant translation: You caught me. Now I need to find a fall guy.

She said the ballot was marked and has no reason to believe the voter was making up a story.

Currie said she will investigate.
(Thanks to the "conservatives" favorite serial adulterer for the heads up.)