The evil money grab and false religion known as Scientology has its hands full as it battles poorly drawn cartoon kids.

His "camp", eh? Super Adventure Club members love to go camping...

WITH LITTLE BOYS!

ISAAC HAYES CAMP DENIES HE SUFFERED STROKE: Rep also says he wrote his own statement announcing ‘South Park’ exit,


...a statement from Isaac Hayes’ production company flat out denies recent reports of the singer suffering a stroke in January, and that a Scientology handler issued the March 13 statement announcing his departure in his name.

"That's a false report," Amy Harnell of Isaac Hayes Entertainment said Friday. "The press release did come from him. He is the one who decided to leave South Park."

Pay no attention to that Scientologist apparatchik behind the curtain.

Harnell reaffirms the Hayes camp’s original statement about his January illness, stating the singer checked into a hospital in his native Tennessee that month for treatment of high blood pressure and exhaustion.

"He wasn't in the hospital for very long," Harnell said. "He's back on his feet, and doing really well."

As previously reported, FoxNews.com's Roger Friedman wrote in his column last week that Hayes' friends were "mystified" by the singer's abrupt change of heart about the show and sudden departure apparently over an episode that first aired four months ago.

In interviews done just before he was hospitalized, Hayes seemed not to be fazed by the show’s satire of religion.


The Charlotte Observer: Isaac Hayes' `Chef' gets a rousing `South Park' send-off

Isaac Hayes' "Chef" character got a true "South Park" send-off this week -- seemingly killed off but mourned as a jolly old guy whose brains were scrambled by the "Super Adventure Club."

The thinly disguised satire continued the show's feud with Scientologists in its 10th season premiere Wednesday on Comedy Central.

The soul singer has voiced the Chef character in "South Park" since 1997, but left recently because of what he called the animated show's religious "intolerance and bigotry." Founders Matt Stone and Trey Parker said Hayes, a Scientologist, was mad that "South Park" mocked the religion in an episode last November.

A rerun of that Scientology episode was mysteriously pulled off the air last week amid published reports that actor Tom Cruise, another Scientologist, used his clout to bury it. A Cruise spokesman denied that.

Hayes didn't participate in making Wednesday's episode; the character's lines appeared to be patched together through tapes of past dialogue.
Chef repeatedly said he wanted to "make sweet love" to the "South Park" elementary school kids -- it seems the "Super Adventure Club" turns its members into child molesters.

Actually, it was the elementary school boys. The show likened Scientologists to brainwashed homosexual pedophiles.

The children try to rescue Chef, but in the end he turns to head back to the "Super Adventure Club" -- until he falls off a bridge onto rocks, is burned, stabbed and mauled by a mountain lion and bear.

Then he apparently dies.

"A lot of us don't agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days," one of the children eulogizes him at a funeral. "Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the past few weeks take away the memories of how Chef made us smile.

"We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us," the eulogy concludes. "We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."

The door for Hayes' return wasn't completely closed. In the show's final scene, members of the "Super Adventure Club" try to revive Chef.