From The Just In Case You Thought I Was A Catholic Bigot Ignoring The Church's Problems Department:

I present the following e-mail I received from Brian Saint-Paul of CRISIS magazine.


They're no longer the dissenting powerhouse they once were, but Call To Action (CTA) is still alive and kicking. Or at least alive.

On November 3-7, they'll be holding their annual National Conference in Milwaukee. Get your tickets now, because if their schedule is any indication, it's going to be a party.

For one thing, they've got the omnipresent Fr. Richard McBrien giving a plenary speech called, "The Pontificate of Benedict XVI: A Preliminary Assessment." Since many Americans have already watched McBrien give his stammering, red-faced "preliminary assessment" on live television when Benedict's election was announced, I think we can guess what he'll say at the conference.

But of course, a CTA conference is more than just Richard McBrien. Attendees can also enjoy presentations like...

** "Personal to Political: How Women's Ordination Impacts the Global Community
Joy Barnes counters the critique that women's ordination is solely a U.S. women's rights issue. She discusses the impact that ordaining Catholic women will have on our universal church and the larger global community."

Ah yes. Women's ordination. Thank heavens CTA is still talking about that. And talking. And talking.

** "Mary Our Sister: Friend of God and Prophet
Lalor Cadley leads prayer with images, poetry and music. Thanks to the work of Elizabeth Johnson and other feminist theologians, Mary of Nazareth, Jewish peasant woman of faith, has been released from her role as a submissive handmaiden and restored to her place as a powerful, prophetic woman."

So much for Mary's, "Behold the handmaiden of the Lord," I guess.

** "What Does A Mature Christianity Look Like?
Matthew Fox...sees plenty of immature Christianity in today's world. But a mature Christianity does not confuse Jesus and Christ; does not make 'flesh' a scapegoat when science teaches us its sacredness. It develops the lower chakras instead of forbidding them. Its spirituality heightens awareness, joy, forgiveness and grieving. It encourages critical consciousness of injustice, fascism, consumerism. It recognizes cosmology and moves beyond anthropocentrism to ecological and social justice. It brings alive the mystic and prophet in us all."

Lower freakin' chakras?*

Hoohoo! Hoohoo!

Hark! It's the plaintive call of The Church Milquetoast Warbler (ecumenis canfoolem).

You can learn more about Fox's notion of a mature Christianity in his classic books, "Whee! We, Wee All the Way Home: A Guide to Sensual Prophetic Spirituality," and "On Becoming A Musical, Mystical Bear: Spirituality American Style." And no, I didn't make up either of those titles.

But thankfully, while there's a full roster of talks at the CTA gathering, there'll also be time for prayer:

** "Opening to Grace
Carolyn Gantner leads morning prayer of gentle yoga and pranayama or breathing. Yoga is a sacrament, a symphony of soul and motion that emerges from the inside out. We bless the new day through sun salutation, half moon, mountain and other yoga postures."

Not a fan of yoga? Well the conference has other options as well:

** "Dances of Universal Peace
Joseph Kilikevice, OP, leads the Dances of Universal Peace as prayer in movement. We call upon God in ways that honor a rich diversity of spiritual traditions: Jewish, Christian, Muslim and others. We use simple chants and reverent movement in a circle, opening us to peace, reconciliation and solidarity with all people of the word."

Sounds like fun, though you'll want to be careful not to strain your lower chakras.

*Heehee.

There's a lot more to the CTA schedule, but I think you get the idea. For some people, the salad days of the 60s and 70s live on...forever, apparently. But for the rest of us, organized Catholic dissent has lost its novelty. There's a reason why you see an ocean of gray hair at these kinds of gatherings. Call To Action is fading away, and they know it. So let them dance their dances of peace, praying to the sun and complaining about patriarchy and sexism and homophobia and...well, it's all getting a little boring, isn't it?

You could not make up stuff this good. If a Hollyweird screenwriter wanted to spoof the "religious" left (Yes, as a matter of fact, I do live in a fantasy world.) he could never use stuff like this. Everyone would think he was exaggerating.