Featured Post

Love the First Amendment. It helps us spot the assholes from a safe distance.

Forget the high-minded principles of our Founding Fathers, kiddies. In the real world, letting the fascists, totalitarians, morons, psychopa...

"Let no freedom be allowed to novelty, because it is not fitting that any addition should be made to antiquity. Let not the clear faith and belief of our forefathers be fouled by any muddy admixture." -- Pope Sixtus III

Friday, February 02, 2007

Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week. (Super Bowl Edition)

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here is my Super Bowl pick.


Sunday 2/4


SUPER BOWL XLI
at Dolphins Stadium in Miami, Florida

Indianapolis (-7) versus Chicago
It all comes down to one thing, kiddies...Do you have enough confidence in Rex Grossman leading the Bears to victory in the biggest game of the year? I don't. I'll take the Colts to cover. (Sorry, Amy.)
FINAL: Colts 29 Bears 17 - Fyodor wins! [1.See genius-level analysis above. 2.That being said, Rex was not totally to blame. The Bears did not run the ball while the Colts did. What was up with that, Chicago o.c. Ron Turner?

3.Since the Steelers were not playing, I actually paid attention to the commercials...

The Good: Bud's wedding auctioneer, axe-wielding hitchhiker, and face slapping; All the CareerBuilder.com ads with bonus points to whomever came up with the sticky note armor and the chinese food delivery guy; GarminMan, who looked suspisciously like UltraMan; and ETrade's one finger spot.

The Bad: All the Coke ads! Borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring; Memo To GoDaddy.com: Find a new babe; All ads with anybody from American Chopper in it - that's two strikes against GoDaddy.

The Ugly: That Sheryl Crow hair coloring ad. She wasn't hot even when everybody said she was. Now she has to get by on her singing and songwriting...heehee!

The Best: The Emerald Nuts ad featuring Robert Goulet. Hands down, nobody else even came close. Bob Goulet gets it, kiddies.

See the Super Bowl commercials here.

4.Yes, the rain made the ball slippery, but why didn't Phil Simms mention the NFL running brand new balls into play constantly so they can sell them as souvenirs?]

No comments:

About Me

My photo
First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

Labels

Blog Archive