The Los Angeles Daily News' David Kronke reports on the carnage from the scene:
Here are a few of the garments that were seen prancing about during Tuesday night's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS (per the company's own descriptions):
Chrome-plated metal waist cincher with bolt detail." "Angels Secret Embrace push-up with Chantal Thomass playing card cushion appliqué." "Hearts on Fire Diamond Fantasy Bra built on the Very Sexy Infinity Edge balconet." "Hand-beaded mylar palette body suit with matching gauntlets." "Angel Air flotation shrug."
Yeah, I don't know what most of that means, either, and I saw the stuff when they taped the show last month at the Kodak Theatre. Suffice it to say that the garments were generally not large enough to fit their printed descriptions upon them.
And the "flotation shrug"? That was a mini version of the flotation device under your airplane seat, which one wagers that few people associate with erotic lingerie.
There was also one model with a large silver inflatable clamshell-looking thingee on her back. It should be a big hit with prostitutes.
The Victoria's Secret models - all dubbed "Angels" - strode up and down the catwalk bearing myriad designs of giant, flowing wings (one even took flight over the audience).
The day of the CBS taping was quite the circus. In the morning at the nearby Renaissance Hotel, a backstage hair-and-makeup photo-op found the models, in silk fuchsia robes, being gang-primped and plucked by beauty-industry professionals before mirrors that read VERY SEXY. Light bulbs spelled out VERY SEXY in words 15 feet high in one corner of the ballroom. (It was bested by the 50-foot-tall light bank in the theater reading SEXY.) Tickets for the event had the word SEXY on them more than 70 times.
If you have to beat people over the head with a word, that word is probably inappropriate or misleading.
And yet, I'm having a hard time coming up with a way to describe the event.
Backstage, photographers and video-camera operators jostled for position. Maria Menounos of "Access Hollywood" was trying to cajole a model into eating a cupcake. "Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!" Menounos barked.
Insert your insensitive sexist comment here.
"Entertainment Tonight's" Kevin Frazier said to one model, "I've got to ask you a very serious question real quick." Alas, the push of the masses thrust me out of earshot for what no doubt was a think-tank-level dissertation on Darfur.
Heehee.
Fun fact: Across the hall from the cattle call of lechery was a display by the National Association of Episcopal Schools.
Ouch. (Heehee. Episcopalians.)
The fashion show was attended, inevitably, by Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Justin Timberlake performed his single "SexyBack."
I am being totally serious here. What is he famous for? Wasn't he married to some hot babe or something? I AM NOT JOKING! Not remembering who he is (or was) is really bothering me.
Six collections were presented: "Come Fly With Me," "Highland Romance" (an odd, Celtic-themed collection featuring lots of plaid), "Glacial Goddess," and "Coquettish Fetish."
William Wallace, call your office.
There was a fairly creepy collection, "Pink," in which the models' outfits made them look even younger than they already were; it's apparel appealing to those that "Dateline NBC" tracks down in its "To Catch a Predator" sequences.
Heehee.
Pink: It's not just a color anymore.
To make amends, the show - which lasted barely 40 minutes - ended with a choir warbling that "we'll live in harmony" before, of course, shaking itself of such idealism and returning to Timberlake's less-spiritual beseeching: "Put your sexy on." (Thanks to the Charlotte Observer for the heads up.)
Seriously, what did Timberlake used to do?
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