From The Desk Of Fyodor Garibaldi...

To: The Others
RE: It

Every once in a while, Your Humble Servant feels compelled to disabuse some visitors of the misconceptions and prejudices festering in their heads.

1) This is a place for me to put my stuff.

2) I do not want fans. I would like to have readers.

3) All of you good little kiddies who get it may disregard the balance of this memo and proceed to the next post. As for the rest of you...

4) Congratulations. You found someone (on the Internet, of all places!) with whom you disagree. How novel. How clever of you.

My guess is you haven't been paying attention since puberty set in.

5) No matter how much you wish things were different, nothing here is about you. Nothing here is for you. This is my little idiot corner of Bloggerdom - of me, by me, and for me.

That being said, I do hope you find it interesting, edifying, and occasionally amusing. If not, go away. I will not lose any sleep over it and neither should you.

6) Your opinion of my opinions interests me not at all. Opinions are like...toes: Everybody has nearly a dozen of them and some people's are webbed.

7) Your opinion of my methods, madness, tactics, stratagems, peccadillos, idiosyncrasies, foibles, intellectual bona fides, vocabulary, morality, immorality, politics, character, cheesesteaks, and cheesesteaks, taste in women, religious beliefs, et cetera, interests me even less.

8) The bottom line? I do not care what you think. (Yes, you. That's right, even you. Yep, you guessed it, even you.)

The fact that you seem to care about what I think amuses me for about three seconds every time you remind me of it.

9) Here is a little magic trick for you. Simply ignore me and I will not vex you any longer. I wish I could do that to you, but I must regularly purge my mailbox of your clutter or else I might miss some of those wonderful unsolicited money-making opportunities.

10) You do not understand because you do not want to understand. You do not get it because you think you know.

By the grace of Almighty God, your ignorance is not invincible. But it is willful.

11) I will regularly re-post this memo for even the most obstinate and slow-witted of the beasts may be taught by repetition.