Memo To Hollyweird: Wake the #@!!##**%#! up!

From the tv columnist of Washington's other newspaper, Lisa de Moraes, comes a tiny bit of good news.

Holiday Classics Snowball the Competition

Rankin-Bass week on TV. Rudolph, Frosty, Santa -- all stars of the famous animation production house of Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass -- came away winners. Billboard's annual music trophy show and the annual Victoria's Secret skivvies special -- not so much.

If the donkeys in Armani suits who make the networks' decisions were smart they would re-run Bob Hope's and Andy Williams' Christmas specials every night from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day.

Here's a look at the week's gifts and goofs:

WINNERS

"America's Next Top Model." CW boasted that the modeling competition's season finale clocked the network's biggest night ever -- which is saying precious little, since CW debuted this fall. Among all seven "Top Model" editions, this one ranked third among all viewers but best among the 18-to-34-year-olds CW targets.

I believe the correct phrase is "damning with faint praise".

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Rankin-Bass '60s holiday classic, narrated by Burl Ives, copped nearly 13 million viewers Friday, trampling "1 vs. 100," "Justice," "Smackdown!" and "America's Funniest Home Videos" in its time slot, and finishing the week in the top 10 among 18-to-49-year-olds and No. 2 with kids.

Yippee!

"Frosty the Snowman." Rankin-Bass '60s holiday classic, narrated by Jimmy Durante, also clocked nearly 13 million viewers Friday -- up nearly 5 million compared with last year's broadcast -- frosting Diane Sawyer's trip to North Korea, "Las Vegas," "Trading Spouses" and "Smackdown!" in the time slot, and landing in the week's top 10 among 18-to-49-year-olds and at No. 1 with the 2-to-11 crowd.

Yippee!

"Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town." Rankin-Bass 1970 holiday classic, narrated by Fred Astaire, logged more than 11 million viewers Tuesday -- about 2 million more than last year -- and made mincemeat of "Gilmore Girls," "Standoff," "Friday Night Lights" and "NCIS" in its time slot...

Yippee!


LOSERS

17th Annual Billboard Music Awards. Despite the promise that neither Paris Hilton nor Britney Spears would host this year's trophy show, only 6.1 million tuned in -- a record low and just sad compared with the 15 million-and-change this show used to cop in the '90s. We miss the '90s.

Heehee!

"Victoria's Secret Fashion Show." The bottom fell out on CBS's skivvies show this year. Too much model blathering and stomping around backstage, and too much Justin Timberlake singing, meant fewer than 7 million watching -- "VCFS's" smallest crowd ever and the orgy of undies' worst-ever numbers with teens and 18-to-34-year-old guys.

Heehee! Could America's men actually be growing up?