Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Thursday 12/14


San Francisco (+10) at Seattle
10 seems too big to me, but Seattle is the better team playing at home. Take the Seahawks to cover.
FINAL: 49ers 24 Seahawks 14 - Fyodor loses! (The Greatest Team Never To Win A Super Bowl came up really small at home. And, BTW, who builds a stadium in Seattle without a roof?)

Saturday 12/16


Dallas (-3.5) at Atlanta
I think Mr. Vick is due for a DOWN week, and I hope Parcells will run the ball. Pick Dallas.
FINAL: Cowboys 38 Falcons 28 - Fyodor wins!


Sunday 12/17


Cleveland (+11) at Baltimore
Fyodor's Opposite Pick of the Week! I don't care how good the Ravens are playing! A double digit favorite? No way. Obviously, I should take the Browns. The Opposite? Take the Ravens at home.
FINAL: Ravens 27 Browns 17 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)


Detroit (+5) at Green Bay
The Crummy Game of the Week! Favre comes out of retirement to bravely lead the Pack to cover the spread.
FINAL: Packers 17 Lions 0 - Fyodor wins!


Houston (+11.5) at New England
The Texans are improved, the Patriots are down, and Brady may be ailing. The number is just too big. Take Houston and the points.
FINAL: Patriots 40 Texans 7 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)


Jacksonville (-3.5) at Tennessee
This should be a good game. I'll go with Jacksonville's running game over the improving Vince Young. Pick the Jaguars.
FINAL: Titans 24 Jaguars 17 - Fyodor loses! (Turnovers kill, kiddies.)


Miami (+1) at Buffalo
I'll go with the Dolphins in the balmy Buffalo sun.
FINAL: Bills 21 Dolphins 0 - Fyodor loses!


NY Jets (+3) at Minnesota
I think the Jets know they have a great opportunity here. Give me NY and the points.
FINAL: Jets 26 Vikings 13 - Fyodor wins!


Pittsburgh (-2.5) at Carolina
This game is off many boards because of the Panthers' QB problems. Since there is no money involved, I'll pick the Steelers to cover.
FINAL: Steelers 37 Panthers 3 - Fyodor wins! (NOW they start to play!)


Tampa Bay (+13.5) at Chicago
Start Hester at QB! Pick the Bears.
FINAL: Bears 34 Buccaneers 31 - Fyodor loses! (Are the Bears packing it in while anticipating the playoffs?)


Washington (+9.5) at New Orleans
I'll take the Saints to cover at home.
FINAL: Redskins 16 Saints 10 - Fyodor loses! (Drew Brees and friends came up really small.)


Denver (-3) at Arizona
I'll take the Cardinals (shudder!) to cover at home.
FINAL: Broncos 37 Cardinals 20 - Fyodor loses! (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!)


Philadelphia (+5) at NY Giants
Take the Eagles and the points to upset the New Yorkers!
FINAL: Eagles 36 Giants 22 - Fyodor wins! (If it weren't for all the miserable losses, I would be proud of this pick.)



St. Louis (+2) at Oakland
Talk about crummy games! I'll pick the Raiders because they are at home.
FINAL: Rams 20 Raiders 0 - Fyodor loses! (Oakland gets shut out for the third time this season!)


Kansas City (+9) at San Diego
The spread is too big, even for the Chiefs as a road dog against a good team. Take KC and the points.
FINAL: Chargers 20 Chiefs 9 - Fyodor loses!


Monday 12/18


Cincinnati (+3.5) at Indianapolis
The Colts bounce back. Pick Indy.
FINAL: Colts 34 Bengals 16 - Fyodor wins!