Introducing The Fiery (But Futile) Little Leftist Rebel Award!

***** UPDATE *****

The Daily Comet divulges the name of America's latest paragon of virtue, but does not deign to grant him a headline:

News from the San Joaquin Valley

A Bakersfield man who set himself on fire after a school district decided to name school breaks after religious holidays instead of seasons was in critical condition after undergoing surgery.

Kirk Alan Sunderman, 31, was recovering in the burn unit of University Medical Center in Fresno Wednesday, said his mother, Marjorie Sunderman. She said she did not know much about the self-immolation because her son has not been alert enough to talk about the incident.

"He's a very sweet person. He just has a strong opinion," Marjorie Sunderman said.

Sunderman, a student at California State University, Bakersfield, set himself on fire in front of the Kern County courthouse Friday.

Don't worry, Kirk. I will immortalize you with The Kirk Alan Sunderman Fiery (But Futile) Little Leftist Rebel Award!

***** UPDATE *****

The forces of Progress and Endarkenment can't possibly lose with torchbearers (sorry) like the as yet un-named genius (pictured above) from California whose feat is chronicled below.

This prize shall be awarded whenever warranted.

SignOnSanDiego.com: Man sets himself on fire in Calif., apparently protesting religious names for school holidays

Bakersfield, CA – A man doused himself with flammable liquid and set himself afire, apparently to protest a school district's decision to change the names of winter and spring breaks to Christmas and Easter vacation.

The man suffered first degree burns on his shoulders and arms on Friday, Fire Department Capt. Garth Milam said.

He's lucky he's a dope or he might have succeeded.

He had a sign that read “(expletive) the religious establishment and KHSD,” said Kern County Sheriff's Deputy John Leyendecker. On Thursday, the Kern High School Board of Trustees had voted to change the names of the holiday breaks.

Clever. When his injuries heal, he can get a job writing for Al Franken.

The man, whose name was not released, also set fire to a Christmas tree and flags in a public area, Milam said.

Admiration is the wrong word...but you have to stand in awe of ignorance monumental enough to go for that particular trifecta. If only he had been eating an apple pie...

He stood with an American flag around his shoulders and poured the liquid over himself. The flaming tree ignited the liquid.

Sheriff's Deputy Lance Ferguson said he and a parole agent sprayed him with fire extinguishers.

“The man stood there like this,” Ferguson said, holding his arms across his chest and his head bent down, “Saying no, no, no.”

Here's more!

KGET: Man sets himself, Christmas tree ablaze to protest KHSD winter break name change

Witnesses said the man wrapped himself in an American flag and set himself on fire.

Three pictures were taken by a witness with his cell phone from across the street.

In the first picture, the man can be seen by the burning Christmas tree.

In the second, two fires are visible, which is the tree and the man.

In the third, you can see the flames were put out.

Witnesses said he burned for about 30 seconds just before 3:20 p.m. Friday before a court supervisor, a deputy, and Judge Michael Bush were able to extinguish the flames.

Paramedics took the man to a local hospital.

Who is this unknown hero of modernity?