Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, kiddies, so there will be no in-depth analysis this week. Just picks.


Sunday 11/19


Atlanta (+4) at Baltimore
Ravens.
FINAL: Ravens 24 Falcons 10 - Fyodor wins!


Buffalo (+2.5) at Houston
Bills.
FINAL: Bills 24 Texans 21 - Fyodor wins!

Chicago (-7) at NY Jets
Jets.
FINAL: Bears 10 Jets 0 - Fyodor loses! (Both Chad Pennington and Rex Grossman played like Rex Grossman.)


Cincinnati (+3) at New Orleans
Saints.
FINAL: Bengals 31 Saints 16 - Fyodor wins! (It's midnight, Cinderella.)


Minnesota (+3) at Miami
Dolphins.
FINAL: Dolphins 24 Vikings 20 - Fyodor wins!


New England (-6) at Green Bay
Patriots.
FINAL: Patriots 35 Packers 0 - Fyodor wins!


Oakland (+9.5) at Kansas City
Chiefs.
FINAL: Chiefs 17 Raiders 13 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)


Pittsburgh (-3) at Cleveland
Steelers.
FINAL: Steelers 24 Browns 20 - Fyodor wins!



St. Louis (+6.5) at Carolina
Panthers.
FINAL: Panthers 15 Rams 0 - Fyodor wins!


Tennessee (+13) at Philadelphia
Titans.
FINAL: Titans 31 Eagles 13 - Fyodor wins! (The Eagles weren't going anywhere with McNabb, now...)


Washington (+3) at Tampa Bay
Buccaneers.
FINAL: Buccaneers 20 Redskins 17 - PUSH! (Uh, oh. I've got a bad feeling...)


Detroit (+2) at Arizona
Lions.
FINAL: Cardinals 17 Lions 10 - Fyodor loses! (D'oh!)


Seattle (-3.5) at San Francisco
Seahawks.
FINAL: 49ers 20 Seahawks 14 - Fyodor loses! (Either the 49ers are starting to turn things around, or the refs' fiendish plot to perpetually screw The Best Team Never To Win A Super Bowl continues apace...)


Indianapolis (-1) at Dallas
Colts.
FINAL: Cowboys 21 Colts 14 - Fyodor loses! (Drat!)


San Diego (+2.5) at Denver
Broncos.
FINAL: Chargers 35 Broncos 27 - Fyodor loses! (Ugh! NEVER bet a game in which Jake Plummer is playing, kiddies.)


Monday 11/20


NY Giants (+3.5) at Jacksonville
Giants.
FINAL: Jaguars 26 Giants 10 - Fyodor loses!