Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.



Sunday 11/12


Baltimore (-7) at Tennessee
I have to take the Ravens.
FINAL: Ravens 27 Titans 26 - Fyodor loses! (Best defense in the NFL, my eye.)


Buffalo (+12.5) at Indianapolis
I'll reluctantly take the Colts to cover at home.
FINAL: Colts 17 Bills 16 - Fyodor loses! (Anybody talking undefeated season here? I thought not.)


Cleveland (+8) at Atlanta
The Falcons are due to be UP this week Pick Atlanta.
FINAL: Browns 17 Falcons 13 - Fyodor loses! (The Flying Vicks stink.)


Green Bay (+5.5) at Minnesota
BORRRRRRRRING! I'll take the Vikings for no apparent reason.
FINAL: Packers 23 Vikings 17 - Fyodor loses! (I sense a pattern developing here...)


Houston (+10.5) at Jacksonville
The Jaguars will play conservatively. Pick Houston.
FINAL: Texans 13 Jaguars 10 - Fyodor wins! (Finally!)


Kansas City (-1.5) at Miami
Did the Dolphins earn this much respect by beating the Bears? I think that was just Rex Grossman. Take the Chiefs.
FINAL: Dolphins 13 Chiefs 10 - Fyodor loses! (Ack! The mighty Dolphin juggernaut marches on!)


NY Jets (+10.5) at New England
The Patriots are just plain better. Take New England.
FINAL: Jets 17 Patriots 14 - Fyodor loses! (Oh, never mind.)


San Diego (-1.5) at Cincinnati
The Bengals are in shambles. Pick San Diego on the road.
FINAL: Chargers 49 Bengals 41 - Fyodor loses! (Gentleman, how about a little defense?)


San Francisco (+6) at Detroit
The Crummy Game of the Week! Take the 49ers and the points.
FINAL: 49ers 19 Lions 13 - Fyodor wins!


Washington (+7) at Philadelphia
Ugh! Another boring and crummy game. Joe Gibbs should go back to NASCAR. I will assume McNabb shows up this week and keeps his lunch down. Pick the Eagles.
FINAL: Eagles 27 Redskins 3 - Fyodor wins!


Denver (-9) at Oakland
Denver covers because the Raiders have used up all their luck for this season.
FINAL: Broncos 17 Raiders 13 - Fyoder loses! (Gentlemen, how about a little offense?)


New Orleans (+4.5) at Pittsburgh
I will keep picking against the Steelers until they prove they can win a game. Any game! Take New Orleans and the points.
FINAL: Steelers 38 Saints 31 - Fyodor loses! (Yippee!)



Dallas (-7) at Arizona
Yet another crummy game! This one calls for a 0 - 0 tie! I'll halfheartedly take the Cowboys.
FINAL: Cowboys 27 Cardinals 10 - Fyodor wins!


St. Louis (+3) at Seattle
Take Seattle.
FINAL: Seahawks 24 Rams 22 - Fyodor loses! (You refs are not trying hard enough.)


Chicago (EVEN) at NY Giants
Rex Grossman has remembered who he is. Take the banged-up Giants at home. (Sorry, Amy. You know I love you to death, but your team needs a real QB.)
FINAL: Bears 38 Giants 20 - Fyodor loses! (One half does not a quarterback make.)


Monday 11/13


Tampa Bay (+9.5) at Carolina
On a hunch, I'll go with the Bucs on the road.
FINAL: Panthers 24 Buccaneers 10 - Fyodor loses! (UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)