Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 10/22


Carolina (+3) at Cincinnati
I get the Panthers and 3 points? JOY! Pick Carolina.
FINAL: Bengals 17 Panthers 14 - Fyodor loses! (Sorrow.)


Detroit (+3.5) at NY Jets
I'll take the Jets to bounce back from last week's abomination.
FINAL: Jets 31 Lions 24 - Fyodor wins!


Green Bay (+5) at Miami
Take the Packers. Big time!
FINAL: Packers 34 Dolphins 24 - Fyodor wins!


Jacksonville (-9.5) at Houston
Pick Jacksonville, though the number is on the big side.
FINAL: Texans 27 Jaguars 7 - Fyodor loses! (What the...?)


New England (-5.5) at Buffalo
How do the Patriots keep winning? Pick New England to cover.
FINAL: Patriots 28 Bills 6 - Fyodor wins! (I hate to say it, but watch out for the Patriots.)


Philadelphia (-5.5) at Tampa Bay
This will probably be a 6 point Eagles win. Take Philly.
FINAL: Buccaneers 23 Eagles 21 - Fyodor loses! (Nice game, McNabb. What were you thinking?)


Pittsburgh (-2.5) at Atlanta
I am hoping the Steelers are officially back. Take Pittsburgh to cover on the road.
FINAL: Falcons 41 Steelers 38 - Fyodor loses! (Turnovers and penalties will kill you.)


San Diego (-5.5) at Kansas City
Everybody pile on the Chiefs! After Kansas City's debacle last week, how can you not take the Chargers here? Pick San Diego.
FINAL: Chiefs 30 Chargers 27 - Fyodor loses! (Best team in football, my eye.)


Denver (-4.5) at Cleveland
I can see Plummer throwing six INTs and losing this one, but I'll pick the Broncos anyway.
FINAL: Broncos 17 Browns 7 - Fyodor wins!



Arizona (-3) at Oakland
I cannot in good conscience pick the Raiders, even though the Cards coughed up a major hairball on Monday night. This is a mild lean toward Arizona.
FINAL: Raiders 22 Cardinals 9 - Fyodor loses! (Bye-bye, Denny Green, you jerk.)


Minnesota (+6.5) at Seattle
Despite the officials' best efforts at cheating The Best Team Never To Win A Super Bowl out of another victory, the Seahawks will cover.
FINAL: Vikings 31 Seahawks 13 - Fyodor loses! (Wow. The refs were out for blood.)



Washington (+9) at Indianapolis
Why not make this game my Lock of the Year? Take the Colts. Seriously, take the Colts.
FINAL: Colts 36 Redskins 22 - Fyodor wins! (Seriously!)


Monday 10/23


NY Giants (+3) at Dallas
It's hunch time, kiddies. Pick New York.
FINAL: Giants 36 Cowboys 22 - Fyodor wins! (1. T.O. isn't very good anymore. 2. The Tony Romo Era has begun. 3. Bill Parcells is regretting going to work for Jerry Jones.)