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It seems Pope Francis needs to brush up on his Tertullian!

It has been reported (in The ChristLast Media, I must note) that the current Pope does not like the phrase "lead us not into temptation...

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Orit on Israel & the US: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful.

My favorite hot Israeli babe continues her love/hate relationship with the US and Israel at Israelinsider. She has realized that government is the problem and she comes very close to articulating Fyodor’s Rule #3: Israel and Judaism are NOT the same thing. (Regardless of what you may have heard.)


Back to the Land by Orit

I'm leaving to Israel tomorrow and I'm very scared. Yes, I'm scared. No, I'm not scared for my safety. I'm scared for my happiness.

I left Israel five months ago, after living there for about seven years, to stay with my parents in LA because I was simply fed-up with the country.

Yes, this happens to many people who make aliyah, but they like to use euphemisms when they make yerida (descent back to the States): "I love Israel, but can't make a living" or "I love Israel, but miss my family in the States," or "I love Israel, but there are better schools in the States." Read: "Israel is a damn hard country to live in. I give up."

I contemplated moving to LALA Land throughout my entire stay here. American Jews don't know how good they got it, especially those living in southern California. They live in a country that respects individual rights, a country that is built upon freedom of religion, a country that is filled with beautiful shops, polite people, great weather, a whole lot of land, and neighboring immigrants who want to partake of the bounty rather than blow it up.

Just give the illegal invaders of America a chance, sweetie.

And there is another reason why I left: my complete lack in faith in the government of Israel. After witnessing the expulsion of Jews from Gaza last summer, my entire perspective of Israel has changed. I came to Israel because I thought it was the only ticket to real Jewish security and freedom on the planet. Well, I hate to break it to everyone, but Israel actually abuses Jews more than the US. Just because the government is Jewish or "Israeli" doesn't make it right, just and holy, as many American Jews would like to think it is.

Amen to that, Sister.

Israel is not a real democracy. In its parliamentary system, legislators are not directly elected, the majority government is formed by making backroom political deals and trade-offs, and there is no real system of checks and balances. Israel is still a cross between Western and Eastern Europe. The state protects the "state" more than it does the people.

Ouch!

And, of course, I would have never imagined that a Jewish army, directed by the "Jewish" State, could forcibly remove Jews from their homes and leave them with no place to live, no real or adequate compensation, no employment -- and, what's worse -- no love or respect. The Jews of Gaza are still unemployed, still floundering, still feeling betrayed, but who wants to talk about them?

While living in Israel's own bubble, Tel Aviv, I could no longer stand the apathy my peers had towards the plight of the homeless Gaza refugees and the resulting security dangers exemplified by the recent Lebanon War and the continuing rockets attacks from Gaza.

Immediately after the Disengagement, Israel had experienced a major trauma -- but hey, in Tel Aviv life went on as if nothing had ever happened. If I wanted to live in a bubble, I would much rather live in the Hollywood-obsessed bubble of Los Angeles, which at least has more of a right not care about Israelis. And I'd much rather live under a government--gentile, Jewish or pagan--that doesn't confiscate, destroy and demolish Jewish property and livelihoods.

What makes a smoking hot babe even hotter?

Right-thinking on that whole Leviathan thingee.

When Olmert was elected Prime Minister and announced his commitment to make the West Bank Judenrein, I simply didn't know how I could go on living in the country. I woke up depressed, ate depressed, and went to sleep depressed. As soon as he hired a union leader, the Stalinesque Amir Peretz as Defense Minister -- if only to create a stable coalition -- my orange friends knew the country was headed toward disaster -- and hey, we were right. Again.

I had always predicted a war would be upon Israel soon, but didn't think it would happen so soon, while I was sitting on my parents' cushy living room couch. Yet I knew that in its next war, Israel wouldn't necessarily achieve victory.

Still, I'm going back. I'm returning to Israel. What can I say? I'm addicted to the country. I think I'm a masochist. Los Angeles living is so pleasant and easy, but I think I like the resistance. I like to know that I'm fighting, acting, doing, rather than just going on as if the world is a dandy, peaceful place to live in.

How cool (and hot) is that? I hope there are enough Israelis like this young woman to get Israel to her centennial celebration intact.

But there are several factors that make me believe this time around in Israel will be different. First, there is more political ferment in the country. More and more people are realizing that the Olmert government is inept, as evidenced by protests on the part of reserve soldiers who feel that the army and government sent them in unprepared for battle and then sent them to and fro in abject indecision.

People are finally waking up to the fact that unilateral withdrawals only make Israeli flesh more enticing to our enemies. I don't think I'd be an outcast anymore, even in Left Aviv, for thinking that the "Disengagement" was wrong.

Second, I've decided to move to Jerusalem, where I had lived for four years prior to moving to Israel's big city. Tel Aviv is probably one of the hardest countries for any single American to adjust to, especially one with my political views. It is the most "Israeli" city -- the most fun, exciting, liberal, and secular -- but also the most competitive, hard, impatient, and stressful. I don't know if Jerusalem will really be the answer for me, but the Holy City is more oleh --friendly, nicer, softer, meaningful, and well, more "Jewish" (whatever "Jewish" means).

So I can't give up -- not just yet.

I'm hoping that, with enough persistence, my next year in Israel will be easier and happier. I never thought I'd come to love America again, and say that I feel more "American" rather than "Israeli" -- but America's prosperity and peace are what Israel could and should achieve. So I'll keep fighting.

That is hard to do when the neighbors are trying to kill you. Orit should have tried living in a few other of Los Angeles' neighborhoods.

It's gonna be hard, sweaty, gritty, and even painful, but I know when I reap the rewards of my loyalty to the idea of a great and just Israel, it will all be worth it.

Good luck and may God be with you, Orit.





Whoa, I'm Happy! by Orit


I'm not allowed to be happy. Or, shall I say, I shouldn't write about my being happy, so says one of my editors. My writing, he says, is sharper and better when I'm angry, pissed, and miserable.

Well, then, I guess I won't be writing a column for a while because, what can I say, lo and behold, to my utter surprise, I am, well, happy.

I don't know how long it will last. Maybe it's just a phase. But since my landing in Israel I've experienced a calm and peace of mind that has eluded me ever since the Expulsion of Gaza in August 2005.

I've decided ever since my return from my summer visit to Los Angeles that I will not let things get to me (I know "things" is a bad word to use here, but I'm too happy to think of something better). I'm going to deal with the Israeli shit I face--accept it, even embrace it, and understand that there are great things about Israel, and not so great things (I know the word "great" is not a descriptive adjective. My editor may have been right).

The first shitty ("shitty" being another less than admirable adjective) thing about Israel is the political system. Yeah, I live in mixture of a tyranny and democracy, but lately, there is more awareness on behalf of all Israelis that the government--its leaders and system--is inept and corrupt. Ever since the Lebanon debacle, no one will defend the government, unless you are the government.

The second shitty thing is the pushiness. When I got off the plane, I wanted to treat myself to ice cream. Some Russian Israeli cut me in line, but my Christian friends would have been proud that I turned the other cheek. (Heehee. She should have inserted an eye-for-an-eye gag here. - F.G.) I won't fight this triviality. I have time. I'm learning to be patient. When there's traffic or people are honking their horns while I'm driving, I turn up the radio, take a deep breath, and wait for it to pass. What a concept! (Excuse tense shifts in this paragraph, I'm delirious!)

My friend says this means that I'm actually a true Israeli now. There is a time in every Israeli's life when he or she learns to accept the difficulties of this country and ride with them. In this acceptance, we start enjoying the goodness the country has to offer.

The third shitty thing about Israel, at least now, is the weather. God, Tel Aviv is so hot and sticky. How do people live here? The weather alone is enough to make me long for Los Angeles.

But there are some great things about Israel, too. Sometimes, when I allow myself to be positive, I look around and think: I'm living in a miracle. I know this is going to sound cliche(sorry, I'm on an Israeli high), but it is really amazing ("amazing", bad word, I know) how in just 58 years, we've created a modern country, revived an ancient language, settled Biblical landmarks, built skyscrapers and cafes on coastal sand dunes, and have given refuge and self-expression for Jews throughout the world. As long as the government doesn't get in the way, I know we'll continue to flourish, because deep down, that's what Israelis want.

Another huge difference is that I don't have this "Re-alignment Plan" hanging over my head, which had been a constant source of depression and frustration. I feel some sort of major revolution in the air, waiting to burst forth like a fountain. The time is ripe, if we idealists can pounce on it (mixed metaphors and awkward sentence construction, forgive me, I'm so relaxed).

I think my break in the United States has done me good. Everyone needs a break from this country. I think I was just really worn out. My batteries have re-charged. They'll probably stay charged until my next trip to the US. That's another reason why I'm happy: I plan to make my US summer trips an annual tradition.

It's just too bad that my new mood may not be so good for my writing career.



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About Me

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First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

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