King Goober II's Legacy Update: Ring around the Peyronie's.*

Kiddies, there are rings and then there are rings...

I'm afraid you must ask your mom and your new "uncle" for further details.

The Detroit News:Portrait captures Bill but where's his ring?
Does Bill Clinton's new portrait have the ring of truth?

The picture, depicting the 42nd president with left hand jauntily perched on hip, faithfully renders Clinton's enigmatic half-smile along with details of the Oval Office. But where's the man's wedding ring?

In the portrait, unveiled this week, Clinton's right hand clutches a newspaper. His left ring finger is bent back and fuzzy, but seems bare as a bachelor's.

That prompted a reporter to ask Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., about it.

"I don't know," she said. "You'll have to ask my husband."

Rats! This could have also been an It Takes A Village To Staff A Gestapo Unit Update!

Artist Nelson Shanks, adding to the mystery, said the ring simply isn't visible -- although there appears to be a pink patch on the ring finger.
"I have never seen the president not wearing his wedding ring," said Shanks, speaking from his Philadelphia studio.

"That finger was not showing, it was folded over." A slightly exasperated Shanks added, "His back isn't showing either."

Neither is his disease-ridden, hideously deformed primary sexual organ.*, but by all accounts it is still there. None dare to ask Senator Hitlerly Shickelgruber (N-NY) to comment on that.

A spokesman for the former president blamed "artistic license" for the ring to-do.

Nope. Artistic license is when Jackson Pollock spews paint from every orifice he owns onto canvas and people pay lots of money for it.

Oops. My bad. That's license to steal.