Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 12/11


Chicago (+6) at Pittsburgh
Bears D is for real. A must win for the Steelers. Take Chicago and the points.
FINAL: Steelers 21 Bears 9 - Fyodor loses! (Memo To Mr. Urlacher: If you play in the street, you're gonna get run over by The Bus.


Cleveland (+12.5) at Cincinnati
Take the red hot Bengals to cover.
FINAL: Bengals 23 Browns 20 - Fyodor loses! (Put that trophy down, boys.)


Houston (+6.5) at Tennessee
The Crummy Game of the Week. Take the Titans at home.
FINAL: Titans 13 Texans 10 - Fyodor loses!


Indianapolis (-9) at Jacksonville
Colts keep on winning. And covering.
FINAL: Colts 26 Jaguars 18 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)


New England (-4) at Buffalo
The Patriots are down, but not out. The Bills are both. Pick New England.
FINAL: Patriots 35 Bills 7 - Fyodor wins!


Oakland (-3) at NY Jets
Another really bad game. But always remember, kiddies, "fan" comes from "fanatic". For the rest of us, that's why we invented gambling. Take the Raiders.
FINAL: Jets 26 Raiders 10 - Fyodor loses! (I really hate the Raiders.)


St. Louis (+7) at Minnesota
Rams have QB trouble and the Vikes are hot. Take Minnesota.
FINAL: Vikings 27 Rams 13 - Fyodor wins!


Tampa Bay (+6) at Carolina
Panthers have been struggling and the Bucs are just what they need. Take Carolina to cover at home.
FINAL: Bucs 20 Panthers 10 - Fyodor loses! (Big road win for Tampa.)


NY Giants (-9.5) at Philadelphia
Since the Eagles quit last week, I'm tempted to go with the Giants. But the number is too big. Take Philly and the points.
FINAL: Giants 26 Eagles 23 - Fyodor wins!



San Francisco (+16.5) at Seattle
Seattle can feel it. (Almost meaningless sports jargon.) They will cover the big number easily.
FINAL: Seahawks 41 49ers 3 - Fyodor wins!


Washington (-4) at Arizona
Redskins need this win, but I'll take Arizona and the points.
FINAL: Redskins 17 Cardinals 13 - PUSH!


Baltimore (+14.5) at Denver
Pay attention to this one, kiddies, because there aren't too many games left in the Brian Billick era. Pick the Broncos.
FINAL: Broncos 12 Ravens 10 - Fyodor loses! (Is Jake Plummer reverting to form?)


Kansas City (+3) at Dallas
My Steelers could use a Chiefs loss, but Dallas is played out. Take Kansas City.
FINAL: Cowboys 31 Chiefs 28 - Fyodor loses! (Exciting finish of the week!)


Miami (+14) at San Diego
Pick Miami. They'll keep it close.
FINAL: Dolphins 23 Chargers 21 - Fyodor wins! (What got into Miami? The Chargers are not as good as they think.)


Detroit (+6) at Green Bay
More crumminess. I'll take the Packers.
FINAL: Packers 16 Lions 13 - Fyodor loses! (That's why they call it gambling.)


Monday 12/12


New Orleans (+10.5) at Atlanta
Time for an up week for the Falcons. Pick Atlanta.
FINAL: Falcons 36 Saints 17 - Fyodor wins!