Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 12/4


Atlanta (+3) at Carolina
Carolina is the better team. At home. After a bad game. Pick the Panthers.
FINAL: Panthers 24 Falcons 6 - Fyodor wins! (Vick is not a pocket passer. Let him do it his way. The Falcons will never win a Super Bowl, But they'll be fun to watch.)


Buffalo (+5) at Miami
The Crummy Game of the Week? Almost. Take Miami.
FINAL: Dolphins 24 Bills 23 - Fyodor loses! (Nice comeback for the sea mammals.)




Cincinnati (+3) at Pittsburgh
The Steelers are in big trouble if they lose. Take the Bengals and the points. (I know. I'm a bad man.)
FINAL: Bengals 38 Steelers 31 - Fyodor wins! (Memo To Coach Cowher: If your team does not run, it does not win. It's nice to know Ben can throw for over 300 yards, but that leaves your D on the field for way too many plays. And all Steeler fans know that's not good.)



Dallas (+3) at NY Giants
Giants are inconsistent. Dallas less so. Pick the Cowboys.
FINAL: Giants 17 Cowboys 10 - Fyodor loses!



Green Bay (+7) at Chicago
I'm beginning to believe in the Bears. Take Chicago to cover.
FINAL: Bears 19 Packers 7 - Fyodor wins!



Houston (+8) at Baltimore
Now this is a crummy game! I wouldn't bet on it, but I'll pick Houston.
FINAL: Ravens 16 Texans 15 - Fyodor wins! (Heehee. Baltimore -8.)


Jacksonville (-3) at Cleveland
No Leftwich, but the Jaguars are fighting for a playoff spot. Take Jacksonville on the road.
FINAL: Jaguars 20 Browns 14 - Fyodor wins!



Minnesota (-2.5) at Detroit
Another crummy game! Lions are crummier this time. Take the Vikings.
FINAL: Vikings 21 Lions 16 - Fyodor wins!


Tampa Bay (-3.5) at (sort of) New Orleans
A veritable sea of crumminess! Bucs better get their act together. And pronto. Take Tampa.
FINAL: Buccaneers 10 Saints 3 - Fyodor wins!



Tennessee (+15.5) at Indianapolis
The Colts juggernaut marches on. They'll cover.
FINAL: Colts 35 Titans 3 - Fyodor wins!


Arizona (-3) at San Francisco
Do the fans of these two teams still care? Take the 49ers because Dennis Green is a moron.
FINAL: Cardinals 17 49ers 10 - Fyodor loses! (He's still one.)



Washington (-3) at St. Louis
The Rams may have found another QB, while the Redskins are struggling. Pick St. Louis.
FINAL: Redskins 24 Rams 9 - Fyodor loses! (Ack!)



Denver (-1.5) at Kansas City
The Game of the Week! I'll pick the Chiefs on the strength of Larry Johnson's legs.
FINAL: Chiefs 31 Broncos 27 - Fyodor wins!



NY Jets (+ 10.5) at New England
Take the Patriots.
FINAL: Patriots 16 Jets 3 - Fyodor wins!


Oakland (+11.5) at San Diego
Oakland stinks out loud, but the Chargers have played a lot of close games that should not have been. Take the Raiders to cover.
FINAL: Chargers 34 Raiders 10 - Fyodor loses!



Monday 12/5


Seattle (-4) at Philadelphia
The Seahawks will use the Monday night stage to show off for the folks who don't see them often. And the Eagles stink. Pick Seattle.
FINAL: Seahawks 42 Eagles 0 - Fyodor wins! (Injuries plus T.O. does not add up to this debacle. They quit on Andy Reid. This does not bode well for next year.)