Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 11/13



Arizona (+3.5) at Detroit
The Crummy Game of the Week. They both stink. I'll pick Arizona.
FINAL: Lions 29 Cardinals 21 - Fyodor loses!


Baltimore (+6) at Jacksonville
The Brian Billick era draws to a close.I can only hope the Raiders hire him. Pick Jacksonville.
FINAL: Jaguars 30 Ravens 3 - Fyodor wins! (Matt Stover needs to find a new team.)


Houston (+17.5) at Indianapolis
Gingerly take the Texans and all those points.
FINAL: Colts 31 Texans 17 - Fyodor wins!


Kansas City (+2.5) at Buffalo
Another iffy game. I'll take the Chiefs.
FINAL: Bills 14 Chiefs 3 - Fyodor loses! (Huh?)


Vikings (+9) at NY Giants
Eli could use a big game, and wonder of wonders,here come the lowly Vikes. Take the Giants.
FINAL: Vikings 24 Giants 21 - Fyodor loses! (Eli? Hello?)


New England (-3) at Miami
I can't pick the Dolphins. Take the Patriots to cover.
FINAL: Patriots 23 Dolphins 16 - Fyodor wins!


San Francisco (+13) at Chicago
The Bears can't score 13 points. Take the 49ers to cover.
FINAL: Bears 17 49ers 9 - Fyodor wins! (Hooray mediocrity!)


Denver (-3) at Oakland
Broncos are better, but 3 better than the Raiders in Oakland? Yep. Take Denver.
FINAL: Broncos 31 Raiders 17 - Fyodor wins!


NY Jets (+9) at Carolina
Take the Panthers.
FINAL: Panthers 30 Jets 3 - Fyodor wins! (Reggie Bush, call your office.)


Green Bay (+9) at Atlanta
Packers keep it close, but lose, as usual. Take Green Bay and the points.
FINAL: Packers 33 Falcons 25 - Fyodor wins! (Memo To Mr. Vick: This is exactly why.)


St. Louis (+ 6.5) at Seattle
Seattle is improved but inconsistent. I'll take them to cover, but I wouldn't bet on it.
FINAL: Seahawks 31 Rams 16 - Fyodor wins!


Washington (-1) at Tampa Bay
The Crummy Game of the Week. Only gambling can make a man watch this one. (There's a hint, kiddies.) Take the Redskins and hold your nose.
FINAL: Bucs 36 Redskins 35 - Fyodor loses! (What's with all this scoring? Nice call, Coach Chucky.)


Cleveland (+8) at Pittsburgh
I just can't pick the Charlie Batch-led Steelers to cover. Take the Browns and the points.
FINAL: Steelers 34 Browns 21 - Fyodor loses! (1. Congratulations to Mr. Hines Ward, the Steelers new all-time reception leader. Mr. Ward is a gentleman off the field and a warrior on it. 2. A meaningless gambling loss. 3. Memo To Coach Cowher: Please start Randle-El at QB next week.)


Monday 11/14


Dallas (+3) at Philadelphia
The Eagles are done. Owens is gone, McNabb should be recovering from surgery, they have no running game, and the defense has been disappointing. Take the Cowboys.
FINAL: Cowboys 21 Eagles 20 - Fyodor wins!