Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.


2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were that good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.



Sunday 10/30




Minnesota (+8) at Carolina
I'll take the Vikings. (Watch. This'll be the one time the Panthers cover.)
FINAL: Panthers 38 Vikings 13 - Fyodor loses! (I told you.)


Oakland (-1.5) at Tennessee
I am compelled to take the Raiders. Ick!
FINAL: Raiders 34 Titans 25 - Fyodor wins!


Washington (+2) at NY Giants
Believe it or not, I'm taking the 'Skins.
FINAL: Giants 36 Redskins 0 (!!!) - Fyodor loses! ( I should hve known they'd win one for Mr. Mara.)


Arizona (+9) at Dallas
Big number (especially this year) versus Arizona stinks on the road. Take Dallas.
FINAL: Cowboys 34 Cardinals 13 - Fyodor wins!


Chicago (+3) at Detroit
The Crummy Game of the Week! I'll take Jeff Garcia over Kyle Orton. Pick the Lions.
FINAL: Bears 19 Lions 13 - Fyodor loses! (I took Garcia.)


Cleveland (+2) at Houston
Wait a minute. This game may be even crummier. Take the Browns.
FINAL: Texans 19 Browns 16 - Fyodor loses!


Green Bay (+9) at Cincinnati
Take the Bengals 'cause the Pack can't run.
FINAL: Bengals 21 Packers 14 - Fyodor loses! (Double ack!)


Jacksonville (-3) at St. Louis
When in doubt, take the home team. Pick the Rams.
FINAL: Rams 24 Jaguars 21 - PUSH!


Miami (+2.5) at (sort of) New Orleans
The Dolphins look bad and so do the Saints. Pick Miami.
FINAL: Dolphins 21 Saints 6 - Fyodor wins!


Kansas City (+6.5) at San Diego
Chiefs defense is the difference. Take the Chargers.
FINAL: Chargers 28 Chiefs 20 - Fyodor wins!


Philadelphia (+3.5) at Denver
Sorry, coach Reid. Short passes are not runs. Take Denver.
FINAL: Broncos 49 Eagles 21 - Fyodor wins! (Eagles are in big trouble.)


Tampa Bay (-11) at San Francisco
Chris Sims versus the 49er D. Take Tampa.
FINALS: 49ers 15 Bucs 10 - Fyodor loses! (This was the Crummy Game of the Week. Sims isn't ready. 5 freakin' field goals?)


Buffalo (+9) at New England
Time for the Pats to play better. Yhey'll cover.
FINAL: Patriots 21 Bills 16 - Fyodor loses!



Monday 10/31




Baltimore (+10) at Pittsburgh
Carve your pumpkin early, kiddies. Then watch the Steelers dismantle the hapless Ravens.
FINAL: Steelers 20 Ravens 19 - Fyodor loses! (A meaningless gambling loss. A tough win for Pittsburgh. They will only go as far as Roethlisberger can take them.)