Larry knows Bush.

Bush Drinks Blood From Hurricane Victim's Skull

After months of hiding out in Crawford, Bush will tour the Gulf Coast tomorrow to witness first hand the wholesale destruction his corrupt environmental policies have wrought. A slew of loyal lapdog reporters will accompany him, willing participants in a carefully choreographed photo-op scripted by Karl Rove. But will the cameras be on as he cashes the check for all the war profits he's made as working families struggle to keep their heads above water? Will they capture the look of orgasmic joy on his face as he surveys the piles of dead Democrat voters? Will the microphones record the screams - the horrible screams - as Bush rips the head off a hurricane victim with his bare hands and drinks the blood from his skull?

Of course not. The media will show us exactly what Rove wants us to see: Bush hugging paid shills with phony compassion. Bush filling sandbags with the little people. Bush distributing care packages to hungry children. He'll come off looking "presidential", and the brainwashed brownshirts of the blogosphere will eat it up. There will be no Cindy Sheehans to ask him why he wiped out New Orleans and killed so many black people. There will be no congressional inquiries by Katrina Widows for Hillary to demand answers. The water will recede, everyone will go back to drinking Bush's kool-aid, and the wealthiest 1% of Americans will continue to enjoy their tax cuts as if nothing had ever happened.

For the love of Gaia, people! We must not allow right-wing pundits to politicize this tragedy by refusing to hold Bush accountable for it!Permalink


It doesn't get much better than that, kiddies. Oh, wait. Here's another:


An Open Letter to Randall Robinson

Mr. Robinson,
I've been a fan of your work for years and greatly admire the enormous good you've done for the Black Community by blaming whites for all their problems. But my eyebrows quivered with anger when I read your racially offensive column on Huffingtonpost, in which you accused black hurricane survivors of eating corpses. Why blacks, Mr. Robinson? Why not whites? Why not the Hispanics? Or the Koreans? It's offensive and racist for you to automatically assume that blacks are cannibals simply because they descend from African slaves.

As an impoverished victim of White America yourself, you are no doubt aware that African-Americans have stared starvation in the face for over 400 years. They can certainly handle four or five days without food. White folks, on the other hand, would eat their own mothers if they missed a lunch. Perhaps you should place the blame for the orgy of cannibalism on their shoulders, as you have everything else.

I understand your outrage over Bush's racially-targeted hurricane and his carefully planned inaction in its wake, but I implore you to please check your facts before you enforce any more racial stereotypes. I am sure that the wealthy white woman who publishes your column would agree.

Sincerely,
Lawrence Z. Chomstein
Professym of Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra
Evergreen State College Permalink

All hail the Great and Wonderful Larry, defender of Truth, Justice, and the Leninist Way!