1) The guys who set the spreads are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side. Minnesota (+3) at Cincinnati
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.
2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.
3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.
4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were that good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.
5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.
That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.
Sunday 9/18
Baltimore (-3.5) at Tennessee
Let us begin with the Crappy NFL Game of the Week. I'm guessing McNair does enough for the Titans to win at home. (But the points might come in handy.)
FINAL: Tennessee 25 Baltimore 10 - Fyodor wins! (McNair don't need no stinking points!)
Pittsburgh (-6) at Houston
Roethlisberger has a banged up knee. Look for Willie Parker to save the day. Take the Steelers to cover.
FINAL: Pittsburgh 27 Houston 7 - Fyodor wins! (This makes all the losses below palatable.)
Jacksonville (+9) at Indianapolis
Take Indy to cover.
FINAL: Indy 10 Jacksonville 3 - Fyodor loses! (What's wrong with the Colts' offense? I don't know about the Jag's D, but Baltimore's is weak. BTW, Byron Leftwich is the toughest QB in the league.)
Detroit (-1) at Chicago
Why is this line so small? The Lions are actually good. It's a gift, right? Darn right! Take the Lions.
FINAL: Chicago 38 (!) Detroit 6 - Fyodor loses! (That's why they call it gambling.)
Bengals have a running game. What happened to Minnesota's? Take Cincinnati.
FINAL: Cincinnati 37 Minnesota 8 - Fyodor wins! (Look out Steelers, the Bengals look good. Is Minnesota really this bad?)
San Francisco (NO LINE) at Philadelphia
McNabb says he'll play, but the wiseguys aren't sure. I'll say Eagles by 3.
FINAL: Philadelphia 42 San Francisco 3 (A 13 point line appeared on Saturday. I'd like to think I'd have gone with the Eagles, but it doesn't really matter.)
Buffalo (+2.5) at Tampa Bay
Buffalo has a ground game and a good defense. If Losman doesn't turn it over, the Bills win outright.
FINAL: Tampa Bay 19 Buffalo 3 - Fyodor loses! (Bucs have Cadillac Williams and a good defense.)
New England (-3) at Carolina
Patriots cover easily.
FINAL: Carolina 27 New England 17 - Fyodor loses! (Bad news: Carolina covers easily. Good news: Pats seem ripe for the picking next week, Steelers.)
Atlanta (EVEN) at Seattle
Atlanta's tougher. They win.
FINAL: Seattle 21 Atlanta 18 - Fyodor loses! (Notice how the guys who didn't play much in preseason are cramping up all the time?)
St. Louis (EVEN) at Arizona
I hate picking Arizona, but the Rams looked bad last week. Go with the homestanding Cardinals.
FINAL: St. Louis 17 Arizona 12 - Fyodor loses! (I really hate picking Arizona.)
Miami (+6) at NY Jets
The Jets are favored over the Dolphins after what happened last week? I must take Miami although my Spidey senses are tingling, kiddies.
FINAL: Jets 17 Miami 7 - Fyodor loses! (Memo To Self: Always listen to your Spidey senses.)
Cleveland (+6.5) at Green Bay
Packers are not very good and the Browns are getting better. I'll take Cleveland and the points.
FINAL: Cleveland 26 Green Bay 24 - Fyodor wins! (Green Bay should not be favored often this season.)
San Diego (+3) at Denver
Chargers need to bounce back. They won't need those 3 points, but I'll take 'em anyway.
FINAL: Denver 20 San Diego 17 - PUSH! (Whew!)
Kansas City (-1) at Oakland
FINAL: Kansas City 23 Oakland 17 - Fyodor loses! (Painless betting loss. Any Raider lossis a win for me.)
Monday 9/19
Washington (+6) at Dallas
I think Dallas should be a bigger favorite, so I'll pick them to cover. But there is something funny with this one, kiddies.
FINAL: Washington 14 Dallas 13 - Fyodor loses! (Not funny, "ha-ha", but funny, strange.)
New Orleans (+6) at NY Giants
Take all the money you were going to bet this weekend and send it to Catholic Relief Services for Hurricance Katrina relief.
And take the Saints.
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