OK, I lied. Here's the dolphin letter to the editor

Well, it wasn't actually written by a dolphin. At least I think so. It could have been. They are terribly bright, after all. A sea mammalian propagandist perhaps.


Great Moments in American Letters

This item has no point, except that it made us laugh. Yesterday's Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times carried this letter to the editor, from Dave Genova (fourth letter):

I remember when President Kennedy raised our hearts, minds and spirits by pledging to send Americans to the moon. When we accomplished that incredible feat, my grandpa said it was a hoax and that in fact, the moon was really made of his favorite cheese, provolone. Today, science tells us that our galaxy, The Milky Way, contains more than 100 billion stars like our sun and beyond it are another 100 billion galaxies like the Milky Way stretching to the end of telescopic vision. Intelligent design or evolution? Evolution or intelligent design? Is it so scary to believe that the Creator belongs to no particular religion and that she, he or it provided the spark of creation more than 10 billion years ago with the intent to allow evolution to take its course? Is it so scary to think that we are related to dolphins, chimpanzees and field mice? It is a fact that there has never been a known case in which a dolphin has killed another dolphin. There is also evidence that dolphins can see inside of children, using eco-location, to help doctors locate and treat disease. That is a distant cousin I am proud to say I am related to.

Why Taranto? Why?
Why do you distract me with colorful kerfuffles, joyous jimcracks, and foolish fooferall? I want to spend my days studying federal budget projections and worrying over the latest food tetrahedron. Stop being so darned entertaining!