'God or the Girl' Update.

Remember A&E's tv show God or the Girl? (Scroll to the end of the post.) No, me neither. I thought it was kind of lame...


Catholic News Service: Only 1 on ‘God or the Girl’ reality show chose seminary – or did he?


WASHINGTON (CNS) – Of the four men featured this spring on A&E's reality show "God or the Girl," three of them decided against entering the seminary to pursue a priestly vocation.

The fourth, Steve Horvath of Virginia, who has been on a student missionary assignment in Lincoln, Neb., said he would apply to a seminary. Then he got stuck on the application.

"The last parts that I ended up not completing were... 'What do you think a Catholic priest should be' and 'What is calling me to the Catholic priesthood?'" Horvath said in a July 27 telephone interview from Fairfax, Va.

"I needed some more subjective and personal reasons” than what he had been writing, he said. “In taking that to prayer, I really didn't feel that calling."

Horvath instead will spend a third year as a lay missionary at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln for the Fellowship of Catholic University Students.

The feedback to the show has been good, he added. "I got one e-mail from a lady who was dying of cancer out in Wyoming, saying that if she had a Catholic priest like me she would have converted," Horvath said.

As for the others profiled in "God or the Girl," Mike Lechniak of Pennsylvania had a girlfriend and a teaching offer. Joe Adair of Ohio, who had been in two religious orders' seminary programs and had been seen vacillating during the series, also decided against the seminary. So did Dan DeMatte of Ohio, who had broken up with his girlfriend to focus on discerning what vocation he had.

Interest in the reality series is being restoked with the availability of "God or the Girl" on DVD. The two-disc set contains the entire series as seen on A&E, plus a 30-minute feature with a fifth young man discerning his vocation which didn't make it to TV, plus deleted scenes and a 20-minute feature with a priest who explains the rituals and religious terminology seen in the series.

Maximus Group, producers of the DVD, have established a Web site, www.godorthegirl.com, with free downloadable study guides and promotional materials for vocation directors, youth directors and other parish leaders. A sticker on the shrink wrap covering the DVD quotes from a review of the series by Harry Forbes, director of the U.S. bishops' Office for Film & Broadcasting: "a surprisingly reverential treatment of a profound life passage."

Reflecting on having been on TV, Adair said, "You have to realize it's a little fact and a little fiction." Adair, who works at John Carroll University in Cleveland, added, "It's kind of like The Da Vinci Code."

Adair's mother, Palma, was seen in "God or the Girl" as pushing Joe toward a priestly vocation.

"I looked like a witch," she said in a telephone interview from her home in Burton, Ohio. However, she added, "the way it ended up was a little more fair than it started out to be."

Palma Adair was seen – and sometimes recognized – at the National Catholic Educational Association convention in Atlanta during Easter week. She and her husband own the Catholic Tour Co. and had an exhibit booth at the convention. The first two hours of "God or the Girl" debuted on A&E on Easter Sunday, followed by another two hours the next day. The concluding hour was shown April 23.

Because visitors to the booth approached her asking her how it all ended, Palma Adair said, "We just told people to watch it," so as not to break the confidentiality pledge signed with A&E.

Palma Adair said she once considered a religious vocation herself. "My own mother was upset when I told her I wanted to be in the Little Sisters of the Poor. I liked working with old people and I really wanted to do it. But my mother cried," she said.

"Maybe God wasn't calling me to this vocation," she added. "All we ever did in our family was plant the seeds for religious vocations, because we believe in it." But on the show, she said, "it looked like I was cracking the whip" on her son to be a priest.

One telling scene from the series showed Joe Adair looking at the menu in a diner, saying to no one in particular, "It takes me forever to make up my mind."

Palma Adair said his rector at Borromeo Seminary in Wickliffe, Ohio, "stopped by our table at NCEA and he saw that and he said, 'That's Joe.'"

Now that Joe Adair seems to have sworn off the idea of the seminary for good, people are "trying to fix him up with girls," Palma Adair said. "We had some friends (visit) last evening, and they know this girl, a chemical engineer; he could come over to the house and meet her. They're thinking 'Oh, he just wants to get married.'"

However, "I don't think Joe will go for that," his mother said. "I've already given him two phone numbers.... He doesn't pursue that. He doesn't go after them."

The Michael and Cathryn Borden Memorial Book of the Day.*

How to Go to Confession When You Don't Know How
by Ann M. S. LeBlanc

"When Father John first mentioned the sacrament of reconciliation to me, I thought, 'Wow. They even invented a new sacrament while I was gone.' Once he had clarified the situation, my next thought was, 'I've got to throw up,' followed by, 'I'm outta' here.'"—from Chapter Two

"If you're nervous about confession, read this book," says the author, who was herself nervous about confession upon returning to the Church after many years away from its enveloping arms. Presented with humor, practicality and a deeply spiritual appreciation of the sacrament, the reader will find here a step-by-step description of exactly how to go about participating in the sacrament of reconciliation these days, helpful tips on what to say and how to make your approach, frequently asked questions by people just like you about the sacrament, including "How long does it take?" and "Isn't it embarrassing if you have to talk about sex?" (answer: "yes"), and suggestions for how to go about forgiving others. Other topics covered include "When Really Bad Things Have Happened to You" and "When the Person You Have to Forgive Is a Priest." This is a gem of a resource for those returning Catholics or new Catholics looking for a bridge to peace and healing.


*Who? Look here.

Medjugorje, again.

Twenty-five years on, it is time for everyone to realize these 30,000 "messages from the Blessed Virgin" are frauds at best and diabolical deceptions at worst.

[All you protestants, mohammedans, hindus, animists, shintoists, and various and sundry other lost sheep are just going to have to get over your pique. I know full well you don't get any of this and you don't care.

A goodly number of you might have noticed how all this Catholic stuff really pisses you off, even if you don't read it. Just the idea of it sets you off. Hmmm...]

Stop Medjugorje Marian apparition claims, bishop tells visionaries

MEDJUGORJE, Bosnia-Herzegovina – The bishop whose diocese includes the Bosnian village of Medjugorje has urged six alleged Marian visionaries to stop claiming that Mary has been visiting them for 25 years.

Bishop Ratko Peric of Mostar-Duvno, Bosnia-Herzegovina, said the church "has not accepted, either as supernatural or as Marian, any of the apparitions" said to have been witnessed by a group of people from Medjugorje.

"As the local bishop, I maintain that regarding the events of Medjugorje, on the basis of the investigations and experience gained thus far throughout these last 25 years, the church has not confirmed a single apparition as authentically being the Madonna," he said. He then called on the alleged visionaries and "those persons behind the messages to demonstrate ecclesiastical obedience and to cease with these public manifestations and messages in this parish."

Amen to all that, Your Excellency!

"In this fashion they shall show their necessary adherence to the church, by placing neither private apparitions nor private sayings before the official position of the church," he said.

"Our faith is a serious and responsible matter," he added. "The church is also a serious and responsible institution."

The bishop made his comments June 15 during a homily at a confirmation Mass in Medjugorje's St. James Church. The diocese published the homily in English and Italian July 3.

On June 25, thousands of pilgrims converged on Medjugorje to mark the 25th anniversary of the onset of the alleged apparitions.

Since June 24-25, 1981, the alleged visionaries together claim to have received more than 30,000 messages.

But Bishop Peric said in his homily that "so-called apparitions, messages, secrets and signs do not strengthen the faith, but rather further convince us that in all of this there is nothing either authentic or established as truthful."

He said in February that Pope Benedict XVI expressed similar doubts when they discussed Medjugorje during the Bosnian bishops' visit to the Vatican.
Bishop Peric told the congregation that because the church did not accept the claims of the visionaries it was illicit for priests to "express their private views contrary to the official position" during Mass, in acts of popular piety or in the Catholic media.

Obedience.

He said Catholics were forbidden from making pilgrimages to Medjugorje if by such visits "they presuppose the authenticity of the apparitions or if by undertaking them attempt to certify these apparitions."

Bishop Peric said his views, and those of his predecessor, Bishop Pavao Zanic, who was also opposed to the claims, were supported by the pope. He expressed appreciation to Popes Benedict and John Paul II, "who have always respected the judgments of the bishops of Mostar-Duvno, of the previous as well as the current bishop, regarding the so-called apparitions and messages of Medjugorje, all the while recognizing the holy father's right to give a final decision on these events."

He also warned his audience of a schism emerging in the region between the church and more than a dozen Franciscan brothers and priests who have been expelled by the generalate of the Order of Friars Minor in Rome because of their disobedience to the pope.

He said that the expelled Franciscans "have not only been illegally active in these parishes, but they have also administered the sacraments profanely... or they have assisted at invalid marriages."

May God have mercy on their souls and the souls of those they have led astray.

Bishop Peric said he shared the view of Bishop Zanic that the visions and the Franciscan "schism," which began under Pope Paul VI in the 1970s, are linked.

Surprise!

American Catholics! Stop going to Medjugorje! Stop supporting this infernal fraud and heresy! Your immortal souls are at risk!

Throughout the 1980s, Franciscan Father Jozo Zovko acted as "spiritual adviser" to the visionaries.

But three church commissions failed to find evidence to support their claims, and in 1991 the bishops of the former Yugoslavia declared that "it cannot be affirmed that these matters concern supernatural apparitions or revelations."

A short while later Father Zovko was stripped of his faculties to exercise any priestly functions by Bishop Zanic in a decree upheld by Bishop Peric.

Charlotte Church begins her campaign for Miss Whore of Babylon 2006.

Ha! You thought Shinehead O'Connor was an ignorant clownish cow!

Catholic News Service: Ignatius stops sale of Charlotte Church works after singer's TV pilot


LONDON - The U.S. publishing company Ignatius Press has refused to sell any works by Welsh singer Charlotte Church after she called German-born Pope Benedict XVI a Nazi and mocked the Catholic Church.

The directors of Ignatius Press said they were offended when the Welsh singer mocked the Catholic Church in the pilot of a proposed eight-part television chat show.

Church, dubbed the "Voice of an Angel" before she turned her talents to popular music, also dressed up as a nun and pretended to hallucinate while eating "communion" wafers imprinted with smiling faces signifying the drug Ecstasy.

May God have mercy on this pathetic little brat's soul.

She smashed open a statue of the Virgin Mary to reveal a can of hard cider inside, said she worshipped "St. Fortified Wine," and stuck chewing gum on a statue of the child Jesus.

It is just like Dr. Octavian in the Spiderman comic books: If only he had used his genius for good...But no, he became the evil Dr. Octopus and wreaked havoc all over town.

Ignatius Press announced that Church's products have been withdrawn from its Web site and catalogue.

"It is with regret that we do this," the company said in a statement to its customers on its Web site, www.ignatius.com.

"Miss Church possesses a great gift from God, and in the past she has used her talent often to offer praise and glory to Our Lord," the statement said.

"We cannot stand by a young woman who uses her stature in the media to mock the Eucharist, slander the Holy Father, and denigrate the vows of religious women," it continued.

"Therefore, our catalogues and Web site will immediately withdraw all compact discs, cassette tapes, DVDs and VHS tapes that feature Miss Church. Please join us in praying for this troubled young woman," the statement added.

Amen to that.

Church declined to comment.

Church, 20, was raised a Catholic and sang for Pope John Paul II at the Vatican at the age of 12.

The pilot for "The All New Charlotte Church Show" was filmed before a live studio audience July 12.

Ignatius Press was founded by Father Joseph Fessio, a California Jesuit who studied under the future Pope Benedict at the University of Regensburg in Germany in the 1970s and who continues to be a close friend.

Pope Benedict, the son of a German policeman opposed to Nazism, was forced into the Hitler Youth movement as a child, and during World War II he served briefly in an anti-aircraft battalion.

Vatican changes dates for 2008 Annunciation, St. Joseph feasts

From Catholic News Service:

VATICAN CITY (CNS) – Because of conflicts in the Catholic Church's liturgical calendar, the Vatican has decided that in 2008 the dates of the feasts of St. Joseph and of the Annunciation of the Lord will be moved.

Working a year and a half in advance to meet the needs of publishers of church calendars, the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments published its notification on the 2008 changes in mid-July.

In 2008, if the feast of St. Joseph were to be celebrated as usual on March 19, it would fall on the Wednesday of Holy Week and if the feast of the Annunciation of the Lord were to be celebrated March 25, it would fall on the Tuesday during the octave of Easter.

While the two feasts are among the 14 solemnities marked with special care in the Catholic Church, they do not take precedence over the commemoration of Christ's suffering, death and resurrection.

Therefore, the congregation said, in 2008 the feast of St. Joseph will be celebrated March 15, the day before Palm Sunday, and the feast of the Annunciation will be celebrated March 31, the Monday after the second Sunday of Easter, which also is Divine Mercy Sunday.

Whither the Brides of Christ?

National Catholic Register: Where have the nuns gone? Orders thriving despite ‘double-cross’ claim

Sister Mary Biatta Ziegler, a member of the Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George, sees herself as a “bride of Christ.” Sister Carole Shinnick, a School Sister of Notre Dame, does not.

Sister Mary thinks the title reflects her complete dedication to Christ and the church. Sister Carole, the executive director of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, says that, although she has a deep relationship with Christ, the term no longer is used by the church to refer to women religious.

In a new book, former New York Times religion editor Kenneth Briggs suggests that women’s communities have waned because the church hierarchy quashed renewal efforts and did not give religious the freedom to reform their own communities. Writing in Double Crossed: Uncovering the Catholic Church’s Betrayal of American Nuns (Doubleday), Briggs says cultural change and church politics also contributed to what happened, as did the sisters’ “ingrained loyalty” to ecclesial authority.

Since then, the number of women religious in the United States also has decreased markedly, from 179,954 in 1965 to 67,773 in 2006, and opinions about the reasons are as divergent as the views of Sister Mary and Sister Carole.

Sister Mary Biatta and Sister Carole represent contrasting attitudes about religious life that have emerged in the four decades since the Second Vatican Council. Vatican II left a legacy of 16 documents, including Perfectae Caritatis (Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life).

Although Briggs sees sisters as having been stifled in their quest for reform, he discusses major changes that did occur in religious communities – from the doffing of traditional habits to leaving convents to live in apartments.

It is those changes that many now see as having impacted the number of women entering religious life in recent years.

Mother Anne Marie Holden, superior of the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne, a community that continues to use a habit and made only minor alterations to their life in response to Vatican II, said she believes the message of Perfectae Caritatis was for each community to return to the roots of the founder without throwing away the essentials of the vows. Instead, she said, many sisters gave up living in community, diminishing their appeal to new candidates.

“To me, that’s so sad,” she said. “So often I’ve heard women say, ‘I could do what some religious are doing [and stay] at home.’”

Women who are interested in religious life today, she said, want a solid prayer life and community, as well as an order that wears a habit.

Study under way

Sister Mary Biatta, a spokeswoman for the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious, agreed. Young women considering religious life, she said, are looking for an order with a great love for the church manifested by acceptance of its teachings, a visible witness, which most often means a habit, and a life of prayer and community. Yet, she said, those are the very things that changed so drastically for many sisters after Vatican II.

Sister Mary Biatta’s community held the line on change, apart from a modification of the habit in 1969. “I believe we had a very wise superior at that time who was not going to jump on any bandwagon too quickly,” said Sister Mary Biatta, who also serves as vocation director for her community. “I think that was the greatest reason why we’re still getting vocations.” The sisters, based in Alton, Ill., have continued to grow, receiving four to six new candidates each year.

Other more traditionally minded communities have enjoyed notable success as well. The Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, based in Nashville, Tenn., for example, took in 16 new postulants last August, and saw 10 profess final vows and another 15 receive the habit as novices. The community of 220 sisters has a median age of 36. The latest entrants come from across the United States, as well as from Poland and Australia. One has a doctorate in mathematics, another was a doctoral candidate in philosophy, many were teachers before entering.

In an interview with Catholic News Service in February, Cardinal Franc Rode, prefect of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life, said communities of the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious, such as the Nashville Dominicans, have the lion’s share of new vocations, although their membership comprises only 10 percent of the women religious in the United States.

The Council of Major Superiors represents superiors of 90 communities in the United States, while the Leadership Conference represents 292 communities.

Cardinal Rode said the Leadership Conference “goes more in the direction of secularization,” compared to the more traditional Council of Major Superiors.

Neither the Council of Major Superiors nor the Leadership Conference is aware of any statistics that might back up what Cardinal Rode said. Neither has done any projection as to the future of their communities, and neither is worried about any communities going out of existence any time soon.

Immaculate Heart of Mary Sister Annmarie Sanders, director of communications for the Leadership Conference, said LCWR does not track information on the median age of its member communities. Communities belonging to the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious have a median age of 55.

But a study to determine which communities are getting vocations is getting under way, said Holy Cross Brother Paul Bednarczyk, executive director of the National Religious Vocation Conference. Brother Bednarczyk said his conference is in talks with the Center for Applied Research Apostolate in Washington, D.C., about such a study. Once it’s done, Brother Bednarczyk said, it will be of great service to religious institutes in the United States.

“There’s a lot of anecdotal evidence of who is receiving vocations and who is not, but the fact is we do not have the hard data,” he said.

Deepening holiness

Sister Carole would not speculate on why more traditional communities seem to be attracting vocations. As a result of reform, she said, “We’ve gone from living on a very superficial level where holiness was measured by how deep your pleats and how shiny your shoes were to a place where we now understand and value that the spirituality of all the faithful is a much more real, everyday part of who we are.”

I believe Sister Carole is fooling herself. Religious communities did not form because of edicts from above. They sprang from the ranks of the faithful because of the need and the desire to dedicate themselves completely to Christ some women and men possess. ("Bride of Christ" is precisely the correct term, Sister Carol.)

In Double Crossed, Briggs downplays the gains of communities such as the Nashville Dominicans by saying that concern with numbers is more akin to America’s obsession with sales figures and thus not apropos to religious life.

He would say that, wouldn't he, kiddies?

He also calls the growth of traditional communities “fleeting and illusory,” adding, “[They] might flourish, after a fashion, loyal to the directives of nostalgic bishops, but the membership of such communities would likely be skewed in the direction of Catholic conservatism rather than, as in days past, representative of a cross-section of the church.”

The Catholic Church is not a social club, kiddies. It is God's instrument on earth that helps save souls. If there are declining numbers of priests, nuns, and monks, it is not because The One True Church is now irrelevant due to the lack of sermons for our iPods. Individuals join religious orders because their faith is strong enough to enable them to clearly hear God's call to them. If you are a Catholic fretting about the state of vocations, stop blaming The Unchanging Faith. Look in the mirror.

God is constant, kiddies. We are the ones who disappoint Him.

Joseph Varacalli, author of The Catholic Experience in America (Greenwood Press), takes another view of such communities, seeing them as part of a restorationist or “neo-orthodox” movement in the church. For restorationists, he writes, the causes of the shortage include “the lack of a fundamental commitment to recruitment, a constant disparagement of the importance of religious life, and the liberalization that has occurred within female religious orders that has made the call far less distinctive, challenging and well defined.”

Sister Carole of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious would disagree.

She does not equate declining numbers of religious women with the reforms that followed Vatican II and thinks that changes in the institutional cycle of the church combined with social trends may have as much to do with the decrease as anything.

Huh?

“I entered religious life in 1960 when there were only three or four viable options for young women,” she said. “You either became a secretary, a nurse, a teacher or you married.... Most young women graduating from high school today have the whole world in front of them and have all sorts of options to choose from.”

I would like to hear Sister Carole explain what she believes God called her to do with her life.

Other factors in the drop in numbers of women religious, Sister Carole said, include Catholic parents having smaller families, making them less likely to encourage their children to pursue religious life, a culture in which heroes for young people are those who achieve celebrity or success, and the deterioration of permanent commitment in the culture.

Benedictine Sister Christine Vladimiroff, prioress of the Benedictine Sisters of Erie, Pa., added that in general, people today are making long-term commitments at a later age. Those who do have an interest in religious life have the option of becoming associated with a community in ways other than making a permanent commitment with vows.

Religious life: It's not just a job, it's...well, yeah, it seems like a job...

Her community, for instance, has a longstanding oblate program with more than 200 members.

Sister Christine said the Benedictines of Erie, who no longer wear a habit, have retained an emphasis on prayer and community even as some members have moved away from the monastery to live in houses in small groups. The convent currently has three women in formation.

Sister Carole said she doesn’t necessarily see lower numbers of women religious as a negative.

“I think we’re going through a pruning period,” she said. “I’m not sure we should have been as large as we were in the 1950s.... Religious life was never intended to be an enormous number of people. It’s really a very small, powerful, laser-like focus of people. I don’t think we want to interpret what is happening today as diminishment or in a negative way. I think we’re being reshaped for a new age.”

Sister Carole is seriously wrong. When Vatican II was hijacked by the faithless relativists and One-Worlders in the 1960's and 1970's, God's children could have used a lot more priests and nuns with the guts and the strength of faith to stand up to the "reformers" and fight for all the traditions that had always done what they were supposed to do: Help save souls!

Instead, just when we needed nuns to be exemplars to young women beseiged by sexual insanity, they threw off their chaste habits and decided to look "normal". I have news for you, kiddies. Normal stinks!

Normal is the lowest common denominator of a corrupt and decadent world. Instead of heeding Christ's words locating His kingdom elsewhere, nuns decided this world was what was "relevant", and only by becoming normal women could they relate to the laity. How exactly did that work out for you, Sisters? Don't bother answering. The devastation all around us speaks volumes!

However, Varacalli said those who see new life coming to the church in the form of more traditional orders would argue that there are countless women who would dedicate themselves to religious life if only the church would extend a strong invitation. Thus, he said, the shortage of sisters is artificial and caused by progressive Catholics in charge of religious life.

Have Mercy on Thy Church, Lord. Forgive us for the arrogance and pride that cloud our minds and will keep us from discerning and obeyng Thy Will.

Saint of the Day and daily Mass readings.

Today is the Feast of St. Dominic, a priest and founder of the Order of Preachers, commonly known as the Dominicans in his honor. St. Dominic created his order to combat heresy and convert souls by harmonizing the intellectual life people's everyday needs. He is also the patron of astronomers. Pray for us, all you angels and saints.

Today's reading for the Feast of St. Dominic is Jeremias 30:1-2, 12-15, 18-22.
Today's Responsorial Psalm is Psalms 102:16-18, 19-21, 29, 22-23.
Today's Gospel reading is Matthew 14: 22-36.


Everyday links:

The Blessed Virgin Mary
The Rosary
Our Mother of Perpetual Help
Prayers from EWTN
National Coalition of Clergy and Laity (dedicated to action for a genuine Catholic Restoration)
The Catholic Calendar Page for Today


Just in case you are wondering what exactly Catholics believe, here is

The Apostles Creed

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord, Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.


Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession,was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins my Mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful; O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy clemency hear and answer me. Amen.


St. Joseph, her most chaste spouse, pray for us.


Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from Christ's side, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; Within Thy wounds hide me; Suffer me not to be separated from Thee; From the malicious enemy defend me; In the hour of my death call me; And bid me come unto Thee; That I may praise Thee with Thy saints and with Thy angels Forever and ever. Amen.


Prayer to St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire

Dear St. Anthony, you became a Franciscan with the hope of shedding your blood for Christ. In God's plan for you, your thirst for martyrdom was never to be satisfied. St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire, pray that I may become less afraid to stand up and be counted as a follower of the Lord Jesus. Intercede also for my other intentions. (Name them.)


Prayer To Saint Michael The Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the divine power, thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.


Prayer to End Abortion

Lord God, I thank You today for the gift of my life, and for the lives of all my brothers and sisters. I know there is nothing that destroys more life than abortion, yet I rejoice that you have conquered death by the resurrection of Your Son. I am ready to do my part to end abortion. Today I commit myself never to be silent, never to be passive, and never to be forgetful of the unborn. I commit myself to be active in the pro-life movement, and never stop defending life until all my brothers and sisters are protected and our nation once again becomes a nation with liberty and justice, not just for some, but for all. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.


Prayer For Vocations

Send forth your Spirit, Lord, into the hearts of your faithful people, that we may be conscious of our vocation to holiness and sevice to others. Grant that many of us may dedicate ourselves to You through the priesthood and the religious life.We pray especially for the needs of our own parish and diocese. Grant that we may always have sufficient good and holy priests, and dedicated Sisters to serve our commumities.We pray, too, for religious orders; that generous men may join them to become zealous missionaries in preaching the Gospel in word and action, especially to the poor and abandoned.We make this prayer through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.

Steelers Update.

From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Offensive line intact, healthy
How good is the Steelers' offensive line? Left tackle Marvel Smith gives a matter-of-fact answer.

"I don't see why we can't be the best line in the league."

Maybe it already is. It was good enough to win a Super Bowl and has returned intact for a second consecutive year.

"That's big," said right guard Kendall Simmons. "We've all been together, played all last season together. We should be able to grow from there."


Steelers' Brooks apologizes
Offensive lineman Barrett Brooks apologized to the Pittsburgh Steelers for his weekend arrest on charges he fled from police on his motorcycle, but said the chase resulted from miscommunication and not any wrongdoing.

The 34-year-old backup lineman for the Super Bowl champions was charged with fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, driving at an unsafe speed and other traffic violations Sunday. He was taken to Allegheny County Jail, according to Pittsburgh police Sgt. Dennis Washington.

Police said Brooks drove recklessly around a police car and didn't stop, causing officers to chase him for about five minutes. Brooks also drove through a red traffic light and a stop sign, Washington said.

Brooks wasn't intoxicated, but wasn't wearing a helmet while on his motorcycle, police said.


Steelers: No bike ban for Big Ben
Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney said he won't try to add a ban on motorcycle riding to Ben Roethlisberger's contract, even after the quarterback was seriously injured after a crash in June.

"I think you need to trust your players," Rooney said during an interview before NFL owners meetings in Northbrook, Illinois. "I think everyone probably learned a lesson from what happened."


Steelers can't wait to see Holmes in lineup
He sat out a practice because of a sore hamstring. He was introduced to the NFL by being tackled hard by cornerback Bryant McFadden during a supposedly non-contact practice.

He also dropped a couple of passes and several punts during a sloppy Pittsburgh Steelers practice that didn't please coach Bill Cowher.

A bad opening week of camp for first-round draft pick Santonio Holmes, the former Ohio State star receiver who couldn't seem to keep himself out of trouble after being drafted in April?

Not at all.

There were missteps and missed plays, and some incorrect pass routes that were quickly corrected by Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward, who has become Holmes' training camp mentor. But the Steelers weren't disappointed with Holmes, who figures to play an important role this season now that former starting receiver Antwaan Randle El is with the Redskins.

Since the Steelers began practicing July 30, Holmes has repeatedly flashed the speed that helped him catch 53 passes for 977 yards and 11 touchdowns for the Buckeyes last season. Several times, he beat the cornerback covering him off the line of scrimmage, leading to a wide-open catch or an obvious pass interference.

Sure, she's French. But look at her! Laetitia Casta (Part Eighteen)

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette:

It Takes A Village To Staff A Gestapo Unit Update.

US Senator Hitlerly Schicklgruber (N-NY) may have been too clever by half with her "triangturbation" strategy. The psychotics on the left, (who, while psychotic, are not sociopaths like La Schicklgruber and her once-again hubby King Goober II) are sharpening their long knives as we speak (and Hiterly caterwauls).

Boston Herald: Hatin’ on Hillary: N.H. Dems lambaste Clinton

MANCHESTER, N.H. - Dick Bennett has been polling New Hampshire voters for 30 years. And he’s never seen anything like it.

“Lying b**** . . . shrew . . . Machiavellian . . . evil, power-mad witch . . . the ultimate self-serving politician.”

Heehee!

No prizes for guessing which presidential front-runner drew these remarks in focus groups.

Is Edwards running again? He was Kerry's bitch...Bobby "You've heard of my dad and his futile crusade against Democrass babykilling" Casey wants to be Harry Reid's bitch, but he's running for the US Senate...

But these weren’t Republicans talking about Hillary Clinton. They weren’t even independents.

These were ordinary, grass-roots Democrats. People who identified themselves as “likely” voters in the pivotal state’s Democratic primary.

And, behind closed doors, this is what nearly half of them are saying.


Ewwwwww! Democrasses behind closed door! Blasphemy! Buggery! 'Bortion!

“I was amazed,” says Bennett. “I thought there might be some negatives, but I didn’t know it would be as strong as this. It’s stunning, the similarities between the Republicans and the Democrats, the comments they have about her.”

Bennett runs American Research Group Inc., a highly regarded, independent polling company based in Manchester, N.H. He’s been conducting voter surveys there since 1976. The polls are financed by subscribers and corporate sponsors.

He has so far recruited 410 likely voters in the 2008 Democratic primary, and sat down with them privately in small groups to find out what they really think about the candidates and the issues.

His conclusion? “Forty-five percent of the Democrats are just as negative about her as Republicans are. More Republicans dislike her, but the Democrats dislike her in the same way.”

It has been some time since I sat in a PoliSci class, kiddies, but those are serious negatives.

Hillary’s growing brain trust in the party’s upper reaches already knows she has high “negatives” among ordinary Democrats. They think she can win those voters over with the right strategy and message.

But they should get out of D.C., New York and L.A. more often, and visit grassroots members.

There is one tiny problem with that. Queen-for-life Hitlery doesn't much like the little people. And it shows...

Like she was wearing a flashing red light on her head.

Because we’re not talking about “soft” negatives like, say, “out of touch” or “arrogant.”

We’re talking: “Criminal . . . megalomaniac . . . fraud . . . dangerous . . . devil incarnate . . . satanic . . . power freak.”

Satanic.

Ha! Silly pollster. Democrasses don't believe in Satan.

And: “Political wh***.”

(Note: I don’t usually like reporting such personal remarks, but in this case you can hardly understand the situation without them. I have no strong personal feelings about the senator.)

There are caveats. Any survey can be inaccurate or misleading. And 55 percent of ARG’s sample was either neutral or positive about Sen. Clinton. Thirty-two percent currently say they plan to vote for her in the primary.

But Bennett says he’s never before seen so many N.H. voters show so much hatred toward a member of their own party. He’s never even seen anything close.

He believes top national Democrats are missing this grassroots intensity. Instead, he suspects, they are blinded by poll numbers, which give Hillary a big early lead based on her name recognition.

Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia’s Center for Politics, agrees.

“There is far more anti-Hillary sentiment in the Democratic Party than the pollsters understand,” he says. In the race for the nomination, “she is ripe for plucking,” he says.

Ewwwwwww! As if anyone could get close enough to do that!

Sen. Clinton’s team could not be reached for comment.

New Hampshire is small, but it’s a bellwether state with clout.

Its primary probably holds the key to the Democratic nomination. And New Hampshire, alone, swung from Bush to Kerry in ’04.

It’s hard to see any Democrat winning the White House without carrying the state in the presidential election. And it’s hard, right now, to see Hillary carrying the state.

Those pesky Germans are at it again.

News Interactive: Scientist tests 'anti-stupidity' pill
A German scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies, Bild newspaper reported today.


The Scotsman: Police called in over lack of sex
A woman in Aachen, Germany, has complained to police that her husband is not fulfilling his sexual obligations.

"The police officials did not feel able to resolve the dispute, let alone issue any kind of official order," police spokesman Paul Kemen said, " because no crime or infringement could be identified."

I find the snickering of Scotsmen over this story particularly ironic.

After the darkness, the dawn.

From WPVI-TV in Philadelphia:

ARDMORE, Pa. (AP) - August 3, 2006 - Organizers at the headquarters of Alex's Lemonade Stand charity are stiffening security measures after donations were stolen Thursday.

After learning that four teens broke into the headquarters of Alex's Lemonade Stand and robbed the charity, people in the Delaware Valley are feeling charitable -- opening their wallets to help replace what was stolen.

The charity has been raising money for pediatric cancer research since 2000. Alex Scott set up the first stand in her front yard. Since her death two years ago, her parents have been keeping her legacy alive through the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation.

Last weekend four juveniles broke into the organization's Ardmore headquarters and made off with money earned by kids nationwide to help the charity.

Security video shows four people in hooded shirts breaking into the Haverford Township office, the foundation said.

"I'd like to think if they're young, they didn't really understand what it means to take from charity ... and how important it is to people to know their money is going to where it's supposed to," said Liz Scott, Alex's mother and the foundation's vice president.

How old must one be to understand the concepts of charity and theft?

Tuesday marked the second anniversary of the 8-year-old's death from neuroblastoma. The break-in occurred sometime last weekend.

"It was quite an emotional week," Scott said.

Nonetheless, she vowed to stay focused on positive developments. She said many young people have worked to help make the foundation a success.
Alex's Lemonade Stand at the Applebees on West Chester Pike opened shortly before noon on Friday, and it was quickly doing a brisk business.

The timing could not be better, because the organization needs the donations more than ever before.

"We hoping our guests will come out and help us, and they have been so good in the past," explained Jeff Gordon of Applebees. " Last year we raised over $166,000. This year, we are hoping to raise over $200,000. Early indications are we are going to exceed that goal."

Applebees has raised $20,000 in the first two days of the campaign, which will continue through the month.

Religion of Peace and Love and a United Front Update.

AP: Saudi cleric issues anti-Hezbollah edict

CAIRO, Egypt - A top Saudi Sunni cleric whose ideas inspired
Osama bin Laden issued a religious edict Saturday disavowing the Shiite guerrilla group Hezbollah.

Hezbollah, which translates as "the party of God," is actually "the party of the devil," said Sheik Safar al-Hawali.

"Don't pray for Hezbollah," he said in the fatwa posted on his Web site.

The edict reflects the historical stand of strict Wahhabi doctrine viewing Shiite Muslims as heretics, and follows a similar fatwa from another popular Saudi cleric, Sheik Abdullah bin Jibreen, not to support Hezbollah.

But across the Arab world, other leaders have implored Muslims to put aside differences to support the fight against Israel. And there have been daily demonstrations in support of Hezbollah around the region, including in predominantly Sunni and generally pro-Western countries such as Jordan.

I think this means the Sunnis are Zionists...

Worst Way to Die of the Day.

Las Vegas Sun/AP: Teen Kills Her Mom During Driving Lesson

FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) - A 15-year-old girl accidentally struck and killed her mother while being taught how to parallel park, police said.

Tina Rowe, 39, died Saturday after being pinned under a 1997 Chevy Cavalier driven by her daughter. Police believed the girl may have hit the gas pedal instead of the brake.

Police said the teen won't face criminal charges.

Animatronics Breakthrough Update.

I hope the taxidermists can do a better job on Fidel's stuffing than they did on Brezhnev's.

USA Today: Castro's return: Cuban veep says "a few weeks'

BTW, just what are the qualifications for becoming Cuba's vice killer?

Al Gore, call your office.

Washington's other newspaper: Heat Reduces Nation's Crime Rate

So, obviously, one cannot blame the Democrasses.

Ain't it funny how The Party of Blasphemy, Buggery, and 'Bortion won't do the same for the abortion issue...

Embryonic Stem Cell Research Funding Up to States, Say Dems(CNSNews.com) - Almost five years after President George W. Bush announced his policy to restrict the number of embryonic stem cell lines available for federally funded research, and shortly after he vetoed a bill to increase funding, Democratic policy makers say the states must now take control of the issue. Full Story

You'd think Hugo Hitler would know a nazi if he saw one...

Israel's Critics Hail Hugo Chavez
(CNSNews.com) - Critics of Israel have found a new champion in Venezuela's leftist President Hugo Chavez, who in recent days has recalled his country's envoy from Israel and compared the Jewish state's military campaign in Lebanon to the actions of Nazi Germany. Full Story

...but like all totalitarian thugs these days he calls us and our allies names.

Sure, she's French. But look at her! Laetitia Casta (Part Seventeen)

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette:

The war this time.

AP: Arabs' anger at their own governments swells

AFP: US and France ready to alter Middle East ceasefire resolution

Roto-Reuters: Israel shoots down suspected Hizbollah drone: TV

AP: Lebanon prime minister wins Arab backing

AFP: Bush urges quick UN resolution, faces objections

Roto-Reuters: Reuters withdraws all photos by freelancer

Lying Levantine Update.

This guy is either a goat rapist or he is scared witless of Hezbolus, Syria, and Iran. Either way, it is time for a no-confidence vote in the Lebanese parliament.

AP: Lebanese PM now says one killed in strike
Lebanon's prime minister said Monday that one person had been killed in an Israeli air raid on the southern village of Houla, lowering the death toll from 40. Meanwhile, in northern Israel, scores of Hezbollah rockets wounded five people, rescue workers said.

And you wondered why I call them Roto-Reuters.

Well, well, well...It seems Dan Rather's Disease is rampant in the Levant.

Reuters on the Run
Reuters has removed all the photographs by Adnan Hajj from their news wires: Reuters withdraws all photos by Lebanese freelance. Notice he’s now a “freelance.” And notice they go out of their way not to mention Little Green Footballs.

Serious congrats to Little Green Footballs and the other decent denizens of Bloggerdom who exposed this left-fascist propaganda.

LONDON, Aug 7 (Reuters) - Reuters withdrew all 920 photographs by a freelance Lebanese photographer from its database on Monday after an urgent review of his work showed he had altered two images from the conflict between Israel and the armed group Hizbollah.

Global Picture Editor Tom Szlukovenyi called the measure precautionary but said the fact that two of the images by photographer Adnan Hajj had been manipulated undermined trust in his entire body of work.

“There is no graver breach of Reuters standards for our photographers than the deliberate manipulation of an image,” Szlukovenyi said in a statement.

“Reuters has zero tolerance for any doctoring of pictures and constantly reminds its photographers, both staff and freelance, of this strict and unalterable policy.”

The news and information agency announced the decision in an advisory note to its photo service subscribers. The note also said Reuters had tightened editing procedures for photographs from the conflict and apologised for the case.

Removing the images from the Reuters database excludes them from future sale.

Reuters ended its relationship with Hajj on Sunday after it found that a photograph he had taken of the aftermath of an Israeli air strike on suburban Beirut had been manipulated using Photoshop software to show more and darker smoke rising from buildings.

An immediate enquiry began into Hajj’s other work.

It established on Monday that a photograph of an Israeli F-16 fighter over Nabatiyeh, southern Lebanon and dated Aug 2, had also been doctored to increase the number of flares dropped by the plane from one to three.

“Manipulating photographs in this way is entirely unacceptable and contrary to all the principles consistently held by Reuters throughout its long and distinguished history. It undermines not only our reputation but also the good name of all our photographers,” Szlukovenyi said.

“This doesn’t mean that every one of his 920 photographs in our database was altered. We know that not to be the case from the majority of images we have looked at so far but we need to act swiftly and in a precautionary manner.”

The two altered photographs were among 43 that Hajj filed directly to the Reuters Global Pictures Desk since the start of the conflict on July 12 rather than through an editor in Beirut, as was the case with the great majority of his images.

Filing drills have been tightened in Lebanon and only senior staff will now edit pictures from the Middle East on the Global Pictures Desk, with the final check undertaken by the Editor-in-Charge, Reuters said.

Hajj worked for Reuters as a non-staff contributing photographer from 1993 until 2003 and again since April 2005. Most of his work was in sports photography, much of it outside Lebanon.

Hajj was not in Beirut on Monday and was not responding to calls. He told Reuters on Sunday that the image of the Israeli air strike on Beirut had dust marks which he had wanted to remove.

Questions about the accuracy of the photograph arose after it appeared on news Web sites on Saturday.

Several blogs, including a number which accuse the media of distorted coverage of the Middle East conflict, said the photograph had been doctored.

LGF is running a bit slowly today due to the ravenous hunger for the truth of decent folks around the world, but take some time and look at the lying photos designed to convince you our democratic and free ally Israel is a murderer of women and kids and the elderly.

BTW, "antique media" is not enough of a slur for these lying sons of whores any longer. I'll start looking for a better one.

Sure, she's French. But look at her! Laetitia Casta (Part Sixteen)

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette:

Haha! Dogs, blogs, and broads.

Boss humor.

Scattisi prego per ingrandire.

Wine and cheese basics.

PAIRING WINE AND CHEESE
by Dan Berger


Wine's most compatible companion is cheese.

And there's a good reason for that. Both now-sophisticated victuals were sort of bland, boring nerds before going to finishing school. Both are made from rather simple liquids (grape juice and milk); both are inoculated with yeasts; both are fermented to become a lot more sublime than their original base materials, and both are aged for a period of time to achieve a certain depth and complexity. And both are living products that react differently depending on when in their life cycle we get to them.

Either of them experienced past their prime may still be consumable, but they may not be very tasty.

Pairing wine with cheese isn't complicated, but something like American cheese served with a sweet jug wine isn't exactly going to excite the palate.

As a starter, here is a brief look at some of the classic matches that have long been known by those who love wine/cheese pairings. There are dozens of variations on themes here, but the tried-and-true combinations are always a safe bet.

Sauvignon Blanc and young goat cheese. The slight sourness of goat cheese needs the tartness of Sauvignon Blanc. If you have a Sauvignon Blanc that's noticeably sweet, and you have already bought the goat cheese, serve apple slices with the cheese and the wine will blend in nicely. (Quince paste, which can be obtained at gourmet food shops, is the classic "sweet" to pair with cheeses.)

Pinot Noir with a mature Brie. The classic French soft cheese Brie has a roughly two-month life cycle. Early in its life, the cheese is hard and white, but as it ages, it gets a slightly brown rind and the interior of the cheese begins to soften at room temperature. When the wheel is about at 40 or so days, leave it out at room temperature for a couple of hours and then try it with an aged Pinot Noir. It's a sublime experience. Nearing its expiration date, such cheese can become a bit assertive and is generally appreciated most by those with an appreciation of the ammonia-like smell.

Port with Stilton. This English blue-veined cheese, which is typically a bit less salty than some other blues, is a classic match with port. Spread on whole-grain crackers, Stilton is pungent enough to compete with the intensity of port, which is usually served at cool room temperature, but not chilled.

There are, incidentally, dozens of types of blue cheese, with the most popular being Roquefort (from France), Danish Blue (called Danablu), Stilton (England), Gorgonzola (Italy), and the American Maytag from Iowa. A rare but fascinating cheese called Cambozola is a semi-soft with a blue vein.

Dry or off-dry Chenin Blanc with Camembert. If the cheese isn't excessively ripe, it should have a mild sweetness that pairs nicely with the melon and citrus flavors of the wine.

In general, serve bold wines with bold cheeses and mild cheeses with softer wines, like Dofino with Chardonnay. A hearty red wine like a Shiraz would go well with a cheese like Parmigiano or another grana-type. All-purpose cheeses such as medium cheddar and manchego from Spain work nicely with a wide variety of wines, the drier the better.

Wine of the Week: 2003 Wolf Blass Shiraz, Yellow Label, South Australia ($12) -- A superb red wine to pair with hearty cheeses. With flavors of pepper, red fruit, plums and a spicy note in the aftertaste.


Dan Berger resides in Sonoma County, Calif. Berger publishes a weekly newsletter on wine and can be reached at danberger@VintageExperiences.com.

To find out more about Dan Berger and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Not just another exquisite face...

...smoking-hot body, and killer legs.

One of my all-time favorite Sports Illustrated swimsuit models (I still get chills when I hear that squeaky voice while watching my incredibly worn copy of Alien From L.A.) helps unwed teen moms.

AOL Entertainment News: Kathy Ireland Turns Role Model

Kathy Ireland has graced the cover of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue three times, runs her own $1 billion clothing-and-furniture line and is the happily married mother of three – yet she faced hurdles along the way.

"When I started my business, I was told I wasn’t smart enough," Ireland, 41, said speaking at Long Beach City College on July 29. "But you have to believe in yourself."

Amen to that.

Those are words to live by, especially for the 50 new mothers – unmarried and mostly in their teens – who were there as part of the L.A.-based Kathy Ireland Mentor Program for Single Teen Mothers.

This calls for a culling of back issues of The King Abdullah Gazette for a special Kathy Ireland tribute.

Since starting the program in 1990, Ireland has matched some 500 girls with female mentors, who meet with the girls at least four times a year and phone regularly to offer advice on everything from going back to school to ending an abusive relationship. (Each pair signs a contract to keep in touch for a year.)

Ireland – who this year awarded each girl a $500 scholarship for school costs – says her Christian faith fuels her desire to help: "I believe we are all God's children."

One young woman Ireland has guided is Christina Perez, 23, who met Ireland four years ago when Perez was a high school dropout and unmarried mom. Today Perez is a married mother of three, studying for her GED and working part-time.

"We all have value," she says. "Kathy taught me that."

Archimedes' agent, call your office.

I knew Jim Beam was powerful stuff, but...

AP: Beams reveal Archimedes' hidden writings

...huh? X-ray beams? I must still be under the influence of the previous post.

Previously hidden writings of the ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes are being uncovered with powerful X-ray beams nearly 800 years after a Christian monk scrubbed off the text and wrote over it with prayers.

Over the past week, researchers at Stanford University's Linear Accelerator Center in Menlo Park have been using X-rays to decipher a fragile 10th century manuscript that contains the only copies of some of Archimedes' most important works.

The X-rays, generated by a particle accelerator, cause tiny amounts of iron left by the original ink to glow without harming the delicate goatskin parchment.

"We are gaining new insights into one of the founding fathers of western science," said William Noel, curator of manuscripts at Baltimore's Walters Art Museum, which organized the effort. "It is the most difficult imaging challenge on any medieval document because the book is in such terrible condition."

Following a successful trial run last year, Stanford researchers invited X-ray scientists, rare document collectors and classics scholars to take part in the 11-day project.

It takes about 12 hours to scan one page using an X-ray beam about the size of a human hair, and researchers expect to decipher up to 15 pages that resisted modern imaging techniques. After each new page is decoded, it is posted online for the public to see.

On Friday, members of the public watched the decoding process via a live Web cast arranged by the San Francisco Exploratorium.

"We are focusing on the most difficult pages where the scholars haven't been able to read the texts," said Uwe Bergmann, the Stanford physicist heading the project.

Born in the 3rd century B.C., Archimedes is considered one of ancient Greece's greatest mathematicians, perhaps best known for discovering the principle of buoyancy while taking a bath.

The 174-page manuscript, known as the Archimedes Palimpsest, contains the only copies of treatises on flotation, gravity and mathematics. Scholars believe a scribe copied them onto the goatskin parchment from the original Greek scrolls.

Three centuries later, a monk scrubbed off the Archimedes text and used the parchment to write prayers at a time when the Greek mathematician's work was less appreciated. In the early 20th century, forgers tried to boost the manuscript's value by painting religious imagery on some of the pages.

In 1998, an anonymous private collector paid $2 million for the manuscript at an auction, then loaned it to the Walter Arts Museum for safekeeping and study.

Over the past eight years, researchers have used ultraviolet and infrared filters, as well as digital cameras and processing techniques, to reveal most of the buried text, but some pages were still unreadable.

"We will never recover all of it," Noel said. "We are just getting as much as we can, and we are going to the ends of the earth to get it."

Don't worry, kiddies. Most of the text that can't be read is Archimedes' grocery list: goat's milk, bread, olive oil...

Those cheatin' athletes would make great politicians.

I know. I know. Read the Sun or smack yourself in the head with a bat? They both do the same thing to your IQ. But Rick Maese offers an amusing stroll through Doperville, a place populated by folks who know winning a game is more important than honesty, decency, or their health.

Baltimore Sun: Drug test alibi menu sits ill on stomach
by Rick Maese

I stepped onto the treadmill with a cocktail of success swimming inside of me. Who knew exactly what type of historic athletic achievement was going to take place once this machine started whirring? With all the training I'd done over the course of the previous hour, I knew something memorable was about to happen.

As a responsible journalist, one who fights off cynicism with a baseball bat, it was my duty to finally give athletes the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they really did break baseball's home run records cleanly. Maybe they really did win the Tour de France without the aid of drugs. Maybe they really were au natural when they ran faster than just about every single human being before them.

Sure, the drug tests all suggest they had some chemical help, but maybe there was another secret. That's when I knew what I'd have to do to make some athletic history of my own. What if I tracked down their explanations for all those positive doping tests and created a single regimen that would top all others?

It couldn't fail. My plan took all the excuses for superhuman performances, for unnatural blood and urine, for heightened levels of testosterone and combined them.

I started with the whiskey, of course. Among cyclist Floyd Landis' reasons for his bad test last month has been the Jack Daniels he consumed prior to racing the 17th stage of the Tour de France. Landis also blamed beer, cortisone and Mother Nature for cursing his body with a disproportionate amount of testosterone on that day.

Tsk. Tsk. Good little Mennonite boys don't drink booze, Floyd. There is another reason you should have stayed down on the farm.

There was no way to know just how much whiskey Landis consumed, but one glass was enough for me, especially if I was going to save room for the beer. That's what sprinter Dennis Mitchell said was the cause of his high level of testosterone. Well, technically, he blamed beer and a night of rigorous sex, (With his wife. He may be a cheater, but he's not that kind of cheater. - F.G.) but for my little study, beer was all I had on hand.

Then I went into my medicine cabinet, which being a young male sports fan, happens to consist solely of Q-tips and vitamin B-12. You'll recall that Rafael Palmeiro blamed his steroid test last year on some bad B-12, given to him by teammate Miguel Tejada .

Last winter, I traveled to the Dominican Republic to visit with Tejada. On my way out of the country, I asked my cabdriver to stop by a series of farmacias, where I purchased several doses of B-12.

I consumed the contents of a small vial and started envisioning the greatness I'd achieve when my training was finished. I considered calling a friend to serve as an official witness for whatever amazing treadmill feat awaited. Or in case my heart stopped.

Is that an Uma Thurman reference?

But there was still more training to do. Of course, there were some things that I couldn't do. I wasn't going to be able to change my body's chemical composition by getting pregnant, which is what tennis player Sesil Karatancheva blamed her bum test on.

Frankly, I didn't have enough time.

Cuban high jumper Javier Sotomayor failed his test because of the Cuban-American mafia and tennis star Petr Korda flunked his because of some bad veal.

And I wasn't going to be able to even come close to cyclist Tyler Hamilton, who blamed his bad test on his unborn twin.

WTF???

But I could pop a couple of sugar pills. Sprinter Torri Edwards blamed her bad test on some glucose pills, so I visited the neighborhood drug store and bought a bottle for $5.99.

I'm not sure what kind Edwards used to post her blazing times, but I chose the orange-flavored ones.

They don't label the section very well, but the drugstore actually has row upon row of excuses for positive steroid tests. There was cough medicine, cold medicine, flu medicine. They had herbal supplements (sprinter Carl Lewis), ADD medication (sprinter Justin Gatlin's first infraction) and medication intended to stop balding (skeleton racer Zach Lund).

While drawing up this special training regimen - the Recipe for Success, I'd come to call it - I visited the Wikipedia Web site, which contains the most extensive list of busted dopers on the Internet. The site lists the names of more than 300 athletes from all around the world busted for using more than 40 different types of drugs. It took a bit more research - ESPN.com helped - to find more than two dozen excuses posed by athletes to explain their positive drug tests.

Before leaving with my glucose pills, I grabbed an energy drink to wash it all down.

That's what Ben Johnson confused with the steroid Stanozolol in the 1988 Olympics. I couldn't find his brand, though - appropriately called Cheetah.

Walking back home, I can't tell you with absolute certainty that something was happening inside my body. I like to think the special sensation was caused by all of the secret ingredients meeting and greeting each other inside my stomach, though my gait seemed to indicate that only the whiskey was really working.

Just a few more items before I'd be ready for the treadmill. I was guessing I'd easily do a three-minute mile and was starting to contemplate doing one in under two.

I walked into a GNC store, which sells more powders and pills than all of Baltimore's busiest drug dealers combined. I purchased 8 fluid ounces of flaxseed oil for $7.99, which is what helped Barry Bonds hit 73 home runs. When I returned home, I also downed some orange juice, the dubious drink that tainted kayaker Nathan Baggaley's test.

I felt my testosterone level fading, so I had another glass of whiskey. I'm that committed to sport.

Amen to that.

I was almost ready for the treadmill. I'd done B-12, beer, whiskey, orange juice, flaxseed oil, glucose tablets and I went into the bathroom for the final ingredient to my cocktail. I lifted the toothpaste tube to my mouth and gave it a squeeze. This is what German middle-distance runner Dieter Baumann said triggered his positive test. Even if it didn't lead me to athletic greatness, I figured it would at least cover the booze on my breath.

I stepped onto the treadmill, thinking that somewhere Raffy, Barry and Floyd would all be very proud. I'd created my athletic edge using everyday household goods and was on the verge of something spectacular.

I punched the buttons on the treadmill, ready for a light warmup before I started really challenging the machine's mechanics.

I was sweating profusely after just 30 seconds and at the one-minute mark, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I ran faster than anyone you've ever seen. I hit the stop button on the treadmill and bolted for the restroom, where my Recipe for Success insisted on seeing daylight once more.

Unlike the athletic greats before me, I was defeated - plus I had a slight headache, a queasy stomach and a bruised sense of self-worth. I just wanted to lie down.

And, I thought, a massage would be nice, which, of course, was the culprit behind Justin Gatlin's second failed drug test. As my failure spun all around me, I was starting to like his excuse much better than the others.

You know, Yuri Andropov loved to watch wrestling between torture sessions at the Lubyanka...

AP: Teens who watched wrestling more violent on dates

RALEIGH, N.C. - Teenagers who watched pro wrestling on TV were more likely to behave violently than other kids, researchers reported Monday, and girls seemed to be more influenced than boys.

Those findings were part of a study suggesting that teenagers who watched wrestling shows like "RAW" and "SmackDown" had a tendency toward violence, including carrying weapons and fighting on dates.

There! Right there! That's how you know this is nonsense. Kids who watch wrestling don't get dates!

The researchers also found that students who were most likely to fight on dates after they had been drinking or using drugs were the ones who watched wrestling most often.

"It's yet more evidence that, when it comes to kids and media, learning happens," said Kimberly Thompson, a professor at Harvard University's School of Public Health. "Parents have to pay attention to what's in their kids' media diet, and what they're seeing and experiencing."

The study, based on data collected seven years ago, was published Monday in the August issue of Pediatrics. A team led by Robert H. DuRant, a professor of pediatrics, social science and health policy at Wake Forest's Baptist Medical Center, surveyed about 2,000 students in Winston-Salem and Forsyth County public high schools in the fall of 1999 and again in April 2000. Just over half the group was male.

"Is this data dated? The answer is no," DuRant said. "If you look at the Nielsen ratings (for wresting) on cable TV, over the years, they have not changed."

Questions included whether the students had recently fought with a boyfriend, girlfriend or date; whether they had been drinking or using drugs before a fight; and whether they had watched professional wrestling on television in the two weeks before each round of the survey.

Due to time constraints, we now move to further action.

Both DuRant and Thompson, who was not involved in the study, said the research should serve as a warning to parents. While parents can identify wrestling broadcasts as entertainment, children are less likely to place the shows in that context.

"This teaches an adolescent that it is OK to use violence to resolve conflicts and that women deserve abusive treatment," DuRant said.
"(Parents) don't put it together that it could be having a negative effect on kids who are right in the middle of putting together attitudes about norms and proper behavior."

Please. If your child doesn't know smacking someone on the head with a folding chair long before "adolescence" (the most political of life stages) is wrong, it is too late.

That's an idea rejected by Gary Davis, a spokesman for World Wrestling Entertainment.

"In contrast to the findings of this flawed study, many of our fans attest that watching World Wrestling Entertainment programming has been a positive experience for them and their children," Davis said. "More than half of these parents consider watching our programs with their children as important family time."

I wouldn't go that far.

Let's give the comically-named DuRant the penultimate rant:

"The bottom line is that adolescents are affected by what they are exposed to," he said. "This study shows that the incidence of date fighting and other violence increases when the exposure to violence increases."

I'll make you a deal, Doc. I'll agree to ban the fake violence of pro wrestling if you'll agree to ban the very real violence of abortion. After all, the very definition of "adolescence" seems to be sex at any cost.

Saint of the Day and daily Mass readings.

Today is the Feast of St. Cajetan, a priest who founded the Theatines Clerks Regular, an order of regular clergy dedicated to living as Christ and His Apostles did in the hope of inspiring wayward Catholics to return to orthodoxy. Pray for us, all you angels and saints.


Today's reading for the Feast of St. Cajetan is Ecclisiasticus 2:7-11.
Today's Responsorial Psalm is Psalms 112:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7-8, 9.
Today's Gospel reading is Luke 12:32-34.


Everyday links:

The Blessed Virgin Mary
The Rosary
Our Mother of Perpetual Help
Prayers from EWTN
National Coalition of Clergy and Laity (dedicated to action for a genuine Catholic Restoration)
The Catholic Calendar Page for Today


Just in case you are wondering what exactly Catholics believe, here is

The Apostles Creed

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord, Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.


Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession,was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins my Mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful; O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy clemency hear and answer me. Amen.


St. Joseph, her most chaste spouse, pray for us.


Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from Christ's side, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; Within Thy wounds hide me; Suffer me not to be separated from Thee; From the malicious enemy defend me; In the hour of my death call me; And bid me come unto Thee; That I may praise Thee with Thy saints and with Thy angels Forever and ever. Amen.


Prayer to St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire

Dear St. Anthony, you became a Franciscan with the hope of shedding your blood for Christ. In God's plan for you, your thirst for martyrdom was never to be satisfied. St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire, pray that I may become less afraid to stand up and be counted as a follower of the Lord Jesus. Intercede also for my other intentions. (Name them.)


Prayer To Saint Michael The Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the divine power, thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.


Prayer to End Abortion

Lord God, I thank You today for the gift of my life, and for the lives of all my brothers and sisters. I know there is nothing that destroys more life than abortion, yet I rejoice that you have conquered death by the resurrection of Your Son. I am ready to do my part to end abortion. Today I commit myself never to be silent, never to be passive, and never to be forgetful of the unborn. I commit myself to be active in the pro-life movement, and never stop defending life until all my brothers and sisters are protected and our nation once again becomes a nation with liberty and justice, not just for some, but for all. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.


Prayer For Vocations

Send forth your Spirit, Lord, into the hearts of your faithful people, that we may be conscious of our vocation to holiness and sevice to others. Grant that many of us may dedicate ourselves to You through the priesthood and the religious life.We pray especially for the needs of our own parish and diocese. Grant that we may always have sufficient good and holy priests, and dedicated Sisters to serve our commumities.We pray, too, for religious orders; that generous men may join them to become zealous missionaries in preaching the Gospel in word and action, especially to the poor and abandoned.We make this prayer through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.