Hello? Hello? Is anybody in there? Hello?
Ladies, don't take any crap from the guys over this one. Just ask them how that penis pump they ordered from the back pages of Penthouse worked.
Meet the Vagina Whisperer - Daily Mail
How many of the alleged men in the Clump regime do you suppose ponied up the big bucks to make themselves look like a Kardasian between the legs?
He is known around his office as the 'vagina whisperer'.
That's because Dr Amir Marashi spends day in and day out creating 'perfect' vaginas.
The New York-based doctor specializes in vaginoplasty - surgery 'down there' - and performs 80 to 100 procedures each year.
And demand has grown so much the number of women undergoing the surgery has rocketed from 5,000 in 2013 to nearly 9,000 in 2015.
There are two reasons women come in for surgeries with Dr Marashi. The first is cosmetic purposes. Women feel uncomfortable about the size, the shape, or even color of their vagina.
Dr Marashi told Daily Mail Online: 'For each person, they want something different. But the most important thing is they feel better, they feel confident.
'Some report better orgasms, feeling more comfortable in the bedroom, and so on.'
The second is functionality purposes.
'It'll be someone who has had one to two children and they feel their vagina is losing shape or consistency. Usually they're 35 or older,' he said.
'Or they'll have a problem with their labia. They're uncomfortable wearing tight clothing, tight underwear. They're uncomfortable riding a horse or a bike.
'They can be more prone to getting yeast infections.'
At the end of the day, Dr Marashi says, the choice is up to the patient. But he makes sure he consults with them multiple times before they do decide to undergo surgery.
The surgeon can shorten the labia, lighten the color, make the vagina moister, and amplify the G-spot.
The surgeries, he says, can even help lift the bladder, helping with urination, and strengthen the rectum.
Dr Marashi's ability to create the ideal vagina for his clients has earned him the nickname the 'vagina whisperer' among his staff.
He said it first occurred while he was doing non-profit work in Haiti after the devastating 2010 earthquake.
There was a woman he was treating who was suffering from a vaginal fistula - when a hole develops between the vagina and either the bladder or the rectum - but had been too ashamed to talk about it.
One of the nurses who was in the operating room with him commented: 'Wow, I can't believe you're some kind of vagina whisperer.'
The name got passed around to his nurses back in New York and stuck.
Over the course of his career, Dr Marashi has performed more than 400 surgeries and says he's seen a tremendous rise in the number of women wanting vaginoplasties.
According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, more than 5,000 women underwent the procedure in 2013.
As of 2015, that figure was estimated to have risen to around 8,745 women.
Since Dr Marashi first began performing vaginal surgeries six years ago, he says particularly more younger women seem to want the surgery.
One reason is that the subject is becoming less taboo as more and more celebrities show off their 'designer vaginas', including British model Katie Price and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville.
However, because of this celebrity rise, younger women see the procedure as a type of fashion statement.
"Mine's Gucci. What about yours?
'I always make sure they know that it's not something that they need but something that they want. I don't want to just do anything for cosmetic purposes,' Dr Marashi said.
Sure, doc. Everybody knows a vajayjay with self-esteem issues.
'If they decide they want to go through with it, that's fine, but they need to do their homework.'
For women who are considering undergoing the procedure, the surgeon offered some tips to follow:
- Make sure your surgeon is board-certified
- Make sure they've been performing the surgery for at least a few years
- Go in for a face-to-face consultation
- Ask for before and after pictures
- Request written and/or in-person testimonials
Face it, kiddies. This is only a symptom, not the disease...
And yeah, we are doomed.
TheChurchMilitant: Sometimes anti-social, but always anti-fascist since 2005.
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