From The Stupid And Ironic Way To Die Department:

Rockclimbing Rule #1 from a non-rockclimber: Don't practice on buildings. They are partially made of rocks, but they are not rocks.

Rockclimbing Rule #2 from a non-rockclimber: Don't climb rocks (or practice rockclimbing on buildings) when wasted.

Harrisburg Patriot-News: Woman dies in fall from city building
Camp Hill resident was climbing with group of 'daredevils'

A Camp Hill woman fell to her death yesterday morning while trying to jump from the top of one 10-story building to another after a night of drinking alcohol with her friends, authorities said.

Zeynep Barnes, 25, of the 100 block of South 32nd Street, fell into an 18-inch-wide gap between the Walnut Street Parking Garage and the building known as 30 North Third Street Building that houses a Wachovia bank branch.

Barnes had been out drinking at several West Shore bars and bars along Second Street with a group of friends, who are rock climbers, in the hours before the accident, Mayor Stephen R. Reed said.

That would be Harrisburg, PA's ghoulish Mayor-for-Life Stephen "Hopalong" Reed, who loves to get himself in front of a camera and microphone whenever someone dies hideously in his fiefdom.

Barnes is the second woman to fall to her death from a downtown building after a night of drinking in the last three weeks.

To be fair to the first one, she was dropped out of a twenty-third floor window by her fiance as they celebrated their engagement. His defense? He was dangling her out of the window just for fun.

Reed said police continue to investigate Barnes' death but said he did not expect criminal charges to be filed.

"We're destroyed -- in shambles," said David Barnes, Zeynep's father. "She, we thought, was a rising star."

Here come the ironic parts, kiddies.

Barnes graduated from Skidmore College, majoring in business, where she also played soccer. She had an internship in China while at Skidmore and learned to speak Mandarin Chinese.

Ironic Part #1: She was an educated woman.

Barnes worked for Carlisle SynTec as a risk analyst and was working on her master's degree at Shippensburg, her father said.

Ironic Part #2: She was a "risk analyst".

"It's a tragic accident involving alcohol and what I would call daredevil behavior," Reed said.

The group, consisting of Barnes and four others, made a habit of going to the top of the 11-story parking garage and the bank building at night to look at the city and the surrounding area, Reed said.

You can look all you want. Just don't jump.

********************************************************** UPDATE (3/24/06)
To the anonymous person claiming to be this woman's sibling:

My post is cautionary in nature, trying to remind all that their lives are short and precious and encouraging all to refrain from needlessly and stupidly risking death. Short of banning everything sharp, heavy, fast, tall, tricky, and deep, our God-given common sense is our best protection.

And, as always, may God have mercy on her soul, your soul, and all souls.

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UPDATE 4/27/06
To the anonymous person claiming to to be this pathetic woman's father:

My humblest appy-polly loggies to you and your entire family of geniuses. Has it turned out your intellectually superior offspring was working on a third shift maintenance or painting crew, bravely sprucing up Harrisburg's parking garages while mere mortals slept in the safety of their puny little bourgeois beds?

Or was she an undercover roof inspector, bravely exposing shoddy building materials and corrupt government contract-letting? (Mayor Steven "Hi-ho, Silver" Reid, call your office.)

Or maybe she was rescuing someone's kitty...

Whatever helps you sleep at night, pal.

Oh, and one more thing. If I don't pray for her poor soul, who will?

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Update The Last
To every Everyone:

Although I am skeptical of concepts such as transference, one hardly ever knows for sure, does one? Therefore, I do not mind being a passive cog in the great mechanism that is mental health. (If, in fact, I have been dealing with the late rockclimber's loved ones. You can never be sure on the internet, kiddies. It could always be an FBI agent trying to entrap you into typing something someone else does not like. You also never know what could have been made illegal while you slept.)

If every tv sitcom I have ever watched is correct, (and who am I to doubt Hollyweird heavyweights who know therapy inside and out?) we have gotten through anger, denial, and (if the latest missive to arrive at my palatial dacha is to be believed) are about to wrap up the bargaining phase. Again, I am glad to do my part, cynical and sarcastic monster that I am.

Sadly, only the Natalee Holloway story lasts forever. It is time for Your Humble Servant to move on to stories on the current news cycle. Such are the hectic times in which we live.

But there may be something Miss Holloway's tragic (and, yes, stupid) demise and her mother's reaction to it can teach us. It seems Mrs. Twitty gets it.

I offer the following news item from the West Side Leader of beautiful Akron, Ohio without comment or opinion because sometimes, kiddies, people have to learn how to make lemonade on their own.

Natalee Holloway’s mother promotes travel safety

Beth Holloway Twitty has been living every parent’s worst nightmare since the disappearance of her daughter, Natalee Holloway, in Aruba last May.

But the speech therapist and mother of two from Alabama is trying to make something positive come from her tragedy. She is making visits around the country, including several here in the Akron area last Thursday, to educate teens and young adults about travel safety.

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Update Beyond the Last

Remember Len Bias, kiddies? See how his mother triumphed over his horrific death here.