The hills of Pennsylvania are alive with the sound of blasphemy, buggery, and 'bortion.

One of the sorriest excuses for a newspaper in the Union notices that Democrasses want to let terrorists and dead Philadelphians vote. Don't worry, all you totalitarians out there. Slow Eddie Rendell will veto this, and he'll get away with it because the Repansycans are...Well, they just are.

Daily Local News: Democrats not happy about voter ID law
Local opponents to legislation passed in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives earlier this week say the bill, which would require voters to show identification at the polls, would discourage poorer residents, minorities and seniors from voting.

Let me get this straight. The poorer, minorities, and seniors will be discouraged from voting if they are forced to produce their driver's licenses?

We can't do anything about the seniors. Everybody hates their senior picture and I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to flash theirs in public. I still can't show my mug at high school reunions.

As for the poorer, I would like to propose we adopt the Extreme Makeover of the Poorer Among Us Act of 2006 to improve the self-esteem of these unfortunates by making their ID photos absolutely fabulous! (Federal Department of Mascara, anyone?)

And talk about self-esteem problems! Imagine how bad you'd feel about yourself if you were actually outnumbered by people who don't look like you! For folks suffering with Visible and Invisible Differences From Most Syndrome, we'll just have to hand out cash.