Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Saturday 12/17


Tampa Bay (+5) at New England
Buccaneers will keep it under 5 but lose.
FINAL: Patriots 28 Bucs 0 - Fyodor loses! (Oh, they were playing that New England.)


Kansas City (+2.5) at NY Giants
The Chiefs are the better team, but for some strange reason I'm picking the Giants.
FINAL: Giants 27 Chiefs 17 - Fyodor wins! (WOW! Forget Reggie Bush. Give me Tiki Barber!)


Denver (-9.5) at Buffalo
Denver. Denver. Denver. They don't stink out loud.
FINAL: Broncos 28 Bills 17 - Fyodor wins!


Sunday 12/18



Arizona (-2) at Houston
Crummy Game of the Week. Take Houston to cover at home.
FINAL: Texans 30 Cardinals 19 - Fyodor wins!




Carolina (-9.5) at (sort of) New Orleans
Big number for suddenly inept Panthers, but N.O. is bad. Take Carolina.
FINAL: Panthers 27 Saints 10 - Fyodor wins!


NY Jets (+9) at Miami
Both teams looked good last week, but Miami actually played another NFL team. Take the mammals to cover.
FINAL: Dolphins 24 Jets 20 - Fyodor loses! (Inconsistency is the hallmark of a truly bad team. That means you, Miami.)


Pittsburgh (-3.5) at Minnesota
I'm sentimental, the Steelers need this one, and the Vikings' indictments were just handed down. Take the Steelers to cover big on the road.
FINAL: Steelers 18 Vikings 3 - Fyodor wins! (If only the defense had played this well against the Bengals and the Colts...)



San Diego (+ 7.5) at Indianapolis
1) This game means nothing to the Colts. 2) The Chargers are fighting for a playoff spot. 3) The game's in Indy's dome. Do the wise guys know something? Nope. Take the Colts to win big.
FINAL: Chargers 26 Colts 17 - Fyodor loses! (That's why they play the games. Good job, Chargers.)


Seattle (-7.5) at Tennessee
Big number for the Seahawks on the road. I'll take 'em anyway.
FINAL: Seahawks 28 Titans 24 - Fyodor loses! (That's why they call it gambling.)



San Francisco (+16) at Jacksonville
Can the Niners possibly be this bad? Can David Garrard be this good? Yes and no. Take San Francisco and the points.
FINAL: Jaguars 10 49ers 9 - Fyodor wins! (Jaguars play to the level of their opponent, and that means they'll be dangerous in the playoffs.)


Philadelphia (+3.5) at St. Louis
The Eagles may win this one, but who cares? Take Philly to cover.
FINAL: Eagles 17 Rams 16 - Fyodor wins!


Cincinnati (-8.5) at Detroit
Bengals had their near miss last week. They'll win big over Detroit.
FINAL: Bengals 41 Lions 17 - Fyodor wins!



Cleveland (+3) at Oakland
A strong contender for Crummy Game of the Week. Taking the Browns on the road is dumb, but it's only the Raiders. Cleveland will cover.
FINAL: Browns 9 Raiders 7 - Fyodor wins! (Yippee!)


Dallas (+2.5) at Washington
I'll take the Cowboys on the road. This should be a good game.
FINAL: Redskins 35 Cowboys 7 - Fyodor loses! (Parcells the genius.)



Atlanta (+3) at Chicago
Falcons outdoors in December on the road? Pick the Bears.
FINAL: Bears 16 Falcons 3 - Fyodor wins!


Monday 12/19


Green Bay (+3.5) at Baltimore
Bonus Crummy Game of the Week! Take the Packers because they still have a quarterback.
FINAL: Ravens 48 Packers 3 - Fyodor loses! (Favre may be done, but nobody could win with the Packers current "talent".)