Missy Franklin's feet, or, why the Olympic Games should be watched with the sound off.

Get your minds out of the gutter, kiddies. I'm simply tired of the stories behind the stories being treated as more important that the athletic competition itself.

Why Missy Franklin? Because every story about her has to contain the fact she's 6' 1" tall and has size 13 feet. "Did you hear? She can't buy women's shoes anymore, they're too small for her."

I'm going to chalk up all this nonsense to the unwillingness of women to learn about sports and NBC's understandable desire to give women what they want to watch. Why show the 68kg judo preliminaries when you can tell your viewers about 873 cases of moms getting up early and taking their kids to practice despite PMS and an unemployed husband. [Of course, the latter is never Okhrana's fault. That would be racist.]

Who freakin' cares? Sport is is own story. Nothing beats the competition itself unless the game is being played with bullets flying overhead or you have a one-armed pitcher like Jim Abbott.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against Miss Franklin or her feet. She appears to be a bright, attractive, level-headed, and talented young lady. Her family and friends are rightfully proud of her and so should all Americans. We obviously suffer from a dearth of such women these days.

I have one more thing for you non-fans who think sport is just another dumbass reality show. If you line up a bunch of elite female swimmers, you'll notice they all look eerily similar. The same goes for male swimmers, female gymnasts, et cetera. Certain physical traits lend themselves to certain athletic endeavors. In other words, Missy Franklin would make a lousy gymnast.

The bottom line, kiddies? There is absolutely nothing wrong with Missy Franklin or her feet. And she has the medals to prove it.