OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS FINALLY OVER, KIDDIES!!!!!!!

No, the vile communist dwarf Kucinich has not given up his quest for unlimited power. Nor am I celebrating the end of the line for the giant-headed Barroid Bonds.

No, kiddies, I am not even celebrating my somewhat limited return from exile on the Siberian Riviera.

I am not exaggerating when I say this is the greatest triumph in the last one hundred years...

Banjo-picker Pete Seeger pens song about 'old Joe, cruel Joe' Stalin

YES! Everybody's third favorite third-rate folk whiner has finally admited that Stalin was not such a sweetheart after all.

The Tucson Citizen has the details:

Pete Seeger has the Joe Stalin blues.

More like blood red.

Decades after drifting away from the Communist Party, the 88-year-old banjo-picker has written a song about the Soviet leader that's as scathing as any tune in the folk legend's long career.

"I'm singing about old Joe, cruel Joe. He ruled with an iron hand. He put an end to the dreams of so many in every land," Seeger wrote in "The Big Joe Blues."

Seeger said he left the Communist Party around 1950 and apologized years ago for not recognizing that Joseph Stalin was a "very cruel misleader." But he told The Associated Press on Friday that the song he finally finished this year is a first for him, despite three visits to the Soviet Union beginning in the '60s.

"It's the first overt song about the Soviet Union," Seeger said during a phone interview from his Hudson Valley home in Beacon.

Seeger calls it a yodeling blues song, and sings the chorus so it sounds like "I got the Big Joe Bloo-ew-ew-ews!" He said it's the sort of song his old buddy Woody Guthrie might have written in the '50s.

Except ol' Woody would have sung about kissing Stalin's...uh,...boots.

The song's existence also touches on a sensitive political issue: the view by critics on the right that the left recognized Stalin's tyranny only belatedly. Partial lyrics were cited Friday by author Ron Radosh in a New York Sun column.

Radosh, an adjunct senior fellow at the Hudson Institute, a conservative think tank, accused Seeger in the newspaper two months ago of failing to criticize the communist regimes he once backed.

Radosh took banjo lessons from Seeger in the '50s - two dollars for three hours - though Radosh took a very different political path from his childhood hero.

WOW!

In a follow-up column Friday, Radosh said he was tickled to receive a warm letter last week from his old idol with a copy of the song attached. He provided a copy of the song to the AP on Friday, and said he still admires Seeger.

"I think he is a man of principle," Radosh said. "He's often wrong."

Those with the wrong principles, Ron.

Seeger said he hopes to publish the song in the folk magazine "Sing Out." Though Seeger's voice has been reduced to a throaty croak, he said he has performed the song for friends.

Seeger is still politically active, concerned about the fate of humanity - and puckish. He agreed to answer questions on the phone from an AP reporter only if the story included lines from a song he wrote after the Sept. 11 attacks about the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. It goes like this: "Don't say it can't be done, the battle's just begun, take it from Dr. King, you too can learn to sing. So drop the gun!"

Oy vey.

"I get the whole crowd singing on it," Seeger said. "I've never failed to get an audience singing, whether they're 8 years old or 80 years old."

One can look at this in one of two ways. An optimist would say even ancient commie stooges like Pete Seeger can eventually see the light of truth. A pessimist would say one dopey song does not make up for a lifetime of agitprop in favor of institutionalized mass murder.