Fyodor breaks down last night's so-called National Championship* game.

ABOVE: The University of Texas' cheerleaders without their chaps.

Looking for proof that genius is inherently simple? May I submit the sweater?

The timeless look of the University of Southern California's cheerleaders (above) and USC's lovelies relaxing at the beach (below).

I was disappointed with the performance of the ladies of Troy last night. Somebody had the bright idea of ruining the most perfect cheerleader uniform ever by pasting a giant rose across the front. It might have been ABC's camera work, but USC's natural talent advantage was nowhere to be seen.

Texas, on the other hand, was in top form. Especially the ladies under the goalpost wearing the chaps. Bonus points for combining the cheerleader and cowgirl fantasies into one.

* We want a playoff!