Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were that good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 10/16




Atlanta (-5.5) at (not really) New Orleans
Saints went bad last week. Take Atlanta.
FINAL: Falcons 34 Saints 31 - Fyodor loses!





Carolina (+1) at Detroit
Here's a hunch: Lions cover at home.
FINAL: Panthers 21 Lions 20 - Fyodor loses! (Hunches suck.)






Cincinnati (-3) at Tennessee
Bengals bounce back big time. Pick Cincy to cover.
FINAL: Bengals 31 Titans 23 - Fyodor wins!





Cleveland (+6) at Baltimore
Ravens free fall continues. Cleveland covers.
FINAL: Ravens 16 Browns 3 - Fyodor loses!





Jacksonville (+3) at Pittsburgh
It appears Big Ben will start, but the wiseguys are being cagey. Steelers only get the home field 3 this week. I'll take them to cover, but I'm worried.
FINAL: Jaguars 23 Steelers 17 - Fyodor loses! (Behold what happens when your starting QB is hurt.)





Miami (+4.5) at Tampa Bay
For little or no reason, I'll go with Miami.
FINAL: Bucs 27 Dolphins 13 - Fyodor wins!




Minnesota (+3) at Chicago
Lawrence Taylor's plot to sabotage the Vikings' season with a little actress/model talent continues apace. Take the Bears.
FINAL: Bears 28 Vikings 3 - Fyodor wins!




NY Giants (+3.5) at Dallas
Who will show up? Last week's Cowboys or Super Eli? I'll take Dallas.
FINAL: Cowboys 16 Giants 13 - Fyodor loses! (Stinking hook!)





Washington (+5.5) at Kansas City
The Insensitive Racist White Alpha Male Game of the Century! I'll pick the Chiefs over the Redskins.
FINAL: Chiefs 28 Redskins 21 - Fyodor wins!




New England (+3) at Denver
Tough, tough call. I'll bet on Brady.
FINAL: Broncos 28 Patriots 20 - Fyodor loses! (End of the dynasty?)




NY Jets (+3) at Buffalo
Fyodor's crystal samovar says the Bills cover.
FINAL: Bills 27 Jets 17 - Fyodor wins!




San Diego (-2) at Oakland
Fyodor's crystal espresso maker says go with the Chargers.
FINAL: Chargers 27 Raiders 14 - Fyodor wins!






Houston (+9.5) at Seattle
Big number for Seattle to cover. Go with Houston.
FINAL: Seahawks 42 Texans 10 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)


Monday 10/17


St. Louis (+13.5) at Indianapolis
Another big number, but Peyton Manning is on the job. Colts'll cover.
FINAL: Colts 45 Rams 28 - Fyodor wins! (Colts D was a bit scary at first, but when that O gets going...)