Fyodor's Pro Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were that good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Sunday 10/9


Baltimore (+1) at Detroit
Basically a pick 'em game. I'll pick the homestanding Lions.
FINAL: Lions 35 Ravens 17 - Fyodor wins! (Billick is a football genius. Just watch him land the number 1 pick in next year's draft.)


Chicago (+3) at Cleveland
You'll notice a lot of lines from 2.5 to 3.5 this week. The oddsmakers are letting the reality of the National 8 and 8 League sink in.
Instant translation: BEWARE.
I'll take the Browns here.
FINAL: Browns 20 Bears 10 - Fyodor wins!


Miami (+3) at Buffalo
Huh? See what I mean? I'll take Miami.
FINAL: Bills 20 Dolphins 14 - Fyodor loses! (See what I mean? Neither do I.)



New England (+3) at Atlanta
Atlanta is the smart pick in this one. I'll go with the Patriots on a hunch.
FINAL: Pats 31 Falcons 28 - Fyodor wins! (Bet on Brady, kiddies.)


New Orleans (+3) at Green Bay
I'm betting (figuratively) Green Bay will play all 4 quarters this week.
FINAL: Packers 52 Saints 3 - Fyodor wins!


Seattle (+3) at St. Louis
The Crummy (formerly Crappy) Game of the Week. I'll take the Rams.
FINAL: Seahawks 37 Rams 31 - Fyodor loses! (I hate it when these two play!)


Tampa Bay (-3) at NY Jets
Bucs are such an obvious pick! Vinny could get killed out there! Contrarian time? Nope, take Tampa.
FINAL: Jets 14 Bucs 12 - Fyodor loses!



Tennessee (+3) at Houston
Houston is bad. Titans are better than they play. Take Tennessee.
FINAL: Titans 34 Texans 20 - Fyodor wins! (Fyodor is very proud of the Titans this morning.)



Indianapolis (+15.5!!!!) at San Francisco
What's the deal here? I think Peyton's finally up to speed, but that number is just too big. Avoid this game as if you were a fat chick with low self-esteem and Clinton (either one) entered the room.
Still, I'll take the Colts.
FINAL: Colts 28 49ers 3 - Fyodor wins! (Heehee.)



Carolina (-2.5) at Arizona
Another tough call. Carolina should win and cover. So, just for fun, I'll take that idiot Denny Green's team. Cards cover at home.
FINAL: Panthers 24 Cards 20 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)


Philadelphia (-3) at Dallas
Normally, the home team gets 3 points just for playing at home. That makes this a pick 'em game. I don't get it. Eagles have been killing the Cowboys lately. I'll go with the Eagles.
FINAL: Cowboys 33 Eagles 10 - Fyodor loses! (Wow. Eagles need a running game to help McNabb plus their defense looked soft against Dallas.)



Washington (+7) at Denver
This is the week the 'Skins lose! Take Denver to win big.
FINAL: Broncos 21 Redskins 19 - Fyodor loses! (Could the Redskins be better than I think they are?)


Cincinnati (+3) at Jacksonville
The Steelers could use a Bengals loss, but I think they're going to have to take care of that themselves. Take Cincy.
FINAL: Jaguars 23 Bengals 20 - PUSH! (Thanks, Jags. Love, Steelers fans.)




Monday 10/10





Pittsburgh (+3) at San Diego
Beware the evil 3 point spread, kiddies! My heart says pick the Steelers and I'm a hopeless old romantic fool!
FINAL: Steelers 24 Chargers 22 - Fyodor wins! (But Big Ben goes down!)