Swathmore Prof Says Intelligent Design Advocates Are Nazis*; Declares Evolution "Fact" After Assuming His Rightful Place As God...

...or, Get your kids out of Swathmore!

Writing for Human Events Online , Christopher Flickinger brings us the bittersweet tale of the feline Professor Colin Purrington, who fits one definition of a madman: He thinks he gets to define what is real.

Did you hear the news? Evolution is no longer a theory. It’s a fact! I know, I can’t believe it either. Wait, you haven’t heard about this breakthrough discovery? Well, you might want to check with Professor Colin Purrington, an evolutionary biologist who teaches at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania. Professor Purrington says, “Evolution is a ‘theory’ like gravity is a ‘theory.’”

You'd think this guy was a biologist pretending to understand physics or something. Oops, sorry Colin.

I wouldn't bet my own money on it, but I think he thinks he's talking about Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation, which is precisely a theory. Gravity itself is a fact. Newton's idea of how it works is a theory. (I know this is kind of basic, kiddies. But little Colin is having some trouble keeping up.)

The same applies to the fact of the varied and complex life with which Earth abounds. Darwin (a real scientist, unlike you, Colin) proposed a theory of natural selection to explain the fact. You see, Colin, a theory can only be proved to be more or less accurate in its ability to explain the facts of the world around us.

Also, the more complex a theory is (or the more complex the fact it tries to explain turns out to be) the less likely it is to be able to perfectly explain the observed facts. Two excellent examples of this are Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation and Darwin's theory of Natural Selection.

Hey, how about that, kiddies? Talk about irony, huh?

Think about it this way, Colin. As some old Greek dude once told me, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know.Or something like that.

The Professor’s statement is in regards to an ongoing educational debate in Kansas: should the theory of intelligent design be taught in schools alongside evolution? Well, according to a press release from Swarthmore College, Prof. Purrington believes there is no place for the theory of creationism in our schools.

“They say ‘teach the controversy.’ But to do that is akin to debating with Holocaust deniers. It just gives credence to something that is made up” says Professor Purrington. He adds, “The low-budget remake of the Scopes trial that is currently taking place in Kansas will make educated Kansans want to flee the state so that their children will not be subjected to quack scientific ideas such as intelligent design.”

*O, yee of little faith! You doubted me? What is a shoah denier? A Nazi, that's what.

On Prof. Purrington’s website “Evolution Outreach Projects,” he says, “To effectively educate children about life, therefore, science standards must be readjusted so that exposure to evolution is commenced in kindergarten, when it might better counteract the creation mythologies that kids are getting at home.” Can you imagine the impact evolution would have on kindergarteners? They’d never eat animal crackers again!

Professor Purrington’s website also contains downloadable Darwin stickers, quotes from the father of evolution and gift ideas for science teachers like body armor for protection against “backwards school boards” and cell phone stun guns to zap creationists.

Heehee. This guy is funny.

But not in the manner he intends.

Human Events contacted Swarthmore College and requested an interview with Professor Purrington; he declined without giving a reason. When Human Events informed the college spokesperson that the professor’s unwillingness to go on the record would not stop us from running a story, we received the following e-mail:

“In response to your last message, Prof. Purrington asked that I convey to you that he is quite busy preparing for classes at the moment. He didn't mention this yesterday, but it does not surprise me. Professors in the sciences especially are often busy over the summer with research and other demands. He also asked me to mention that he looks forward to your article, even if it is critical.”

It should be noted; Human Events’ request for an interview was made more than a month before Swarthmore College was scheduled to begin its fall semester.

So, unfortunately, there are only two ways to hear Professor Purrington explain the mysteries of the universe: enroll in his class or wait for his schedule to free-up. Although, given the professor’s anti-religious remarks, I wouldn’t expect there to be an opening in his calendar anytime soon. He probably doesn’t rest on Sundays, and he has centuries of political and religious thought to refute.

I just hope a brave, young conservative student will enroll in the professor’s class, raise his/her hand and ask the following questions:

· In the Declaration of Independence, our founders speak of “unalienable rights” by which we are endowed with by our Creator. If there is no Creator, then where do our rights come from? A piece of paper?

· Darwin put forth the idea (I mean, fact) of “survival of the fittest.” So, if “might makes right,” would those who believe in God be justified in suppressing and persecuting those who believe in Darwin?

I doubt you'd be able to scare the professor with Social Darwinism. The man sounds like he battles Nazis every day.

· How did Biblical figures know the Earth was round and that ocean currents, sub-atomic particles, a jet stream and an infinite number of stars existed if they lived thousands of years before scientists would make those discoveries?

· If evolution rests on the idea of natural selection and adaptation, and if everything that exists today only exists because it is the “fittest” or it “adapted” in order to survive, should humans really be going out of their way to save the whales or prevent the extinction of some endangered species? Aren’t we doing evolution a disservice by nurturing these inadequate creatures?

Exactly! Kill them and eat them!

Evolution certainly has a lot of explaining to do.

Bottom line – evolution is not fact. It’s theory! And, contrary to Prof. Purrington’s remarks, the theory of intelligent design deserves just as much attention as evolution in the classroom.

What good is an education if opposing sides of an unresolved debate aren’t considered? If Prof. Purrington and his students don’t at least consider the validity of creationism, they run the risk of intellectual deficiency and thus (according to Darwin’s theory) possible extinction.

Heehee!

Will they ignore scientific studies that prove the power of prayer? Will they visit doctors other than the 76% who believe in God according to Reuters? Will they protest the efforts of environmentalists who try to save stubborn trees and animals that refuse to adapt for survival?

Students deserve to hear both sides of the debate. If not, how else are aspiring evolutionists going to realize they’re wrong?

Amen to that, Brother.