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Love the First Amendment. It helps us spot the assholes from a safe distance.

Forget the high-minded principles of our Founding Fathers, kiddies. In the real world, letting the fascists, totalitarians, morons, psychopa...

"Let no freedom be allowed to novelty, because it is not fitting that any addition should be made to antiquity. Let not the clear faith and belief of our forefathers be fouled by any muddy admixture." -- Pope Sixtus III

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A new addition to the classic dumbass movie pantheon.


The Big Bang (2011)

This is a fine example of a time-honored dumbass movie genre - attempted film noir. It has all the necessary ingredients: A hard-boiled P.I. [Antonio Banderas, who also stars in another decent dumbass flick, Desperado, with the yummy Salma Hayek.] who is much too smart for his own good, a femme fatale, an insane rich guy, sexual perversion, dark secrets, Los Angeles, and crooked cops.

Sadly, it's rated R for the usual ignorant use of words you wouldn't use around your mom, not quite cartoonish bloodletting, and nudity from the cute-as-a-next-door-button Autumn Reeser [from tv's No Ordinary Family].



Dumbass Cameo: Snoop Dogg as a porn director/actor.

All-Time Dumbass Line: After an albino midget is set on fire and launched out of a Hollyweird mansion's window, Banderas says: "He's a white dwarf gone supernova."

Fyodor's Rating: 2.5 cannoli [out of 5]

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First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

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