The Michael and Cathryn Borden Memorial Book of the Day.*

Meanwhile, back in The Twilight Zone...

From Hollywood Life:



Sorry, sweetie, your IQ must be THIS tall to ride this ride.


Get Jwoww’s Dating Advice: Boobs Hypnotize The Opposite Sex, Plus More Tips From Her New Book!


“Never judge a book by its cover.” This old adage applies not only to author Jenni “Jwoww” Farley’s maiden voyage into the world of literature, but also to the guidette herself! The Rules According to Jwoww is an intimate look into the making of the Jersey Shore star and the loves, losses, and lessons she’s learned on the road to reality royalty.

Hee-hee. Reality.

The Rules is full of Jwoww’s “how-to” tips for landing the perfect guy, which she put together by doing in-depth research of the mating rituals of her social set while in the shore house. Because she wrote the “get your guido” guide over a six week period amidst an extremely painful breakup, she credits the writing process as being therapeutic — and apparently it works, because she landed herself a new beau, her very own “gorilla juicehead!” (Finally, someone at the shore gets a happy ending!)

Look out! "Juicehead" is a short stone's [sorry] throw away from "roid rage". On the other hand, Jen is probably too self absorbed to notice her man's shriveled testicles.

Follow HollywoodLife.com’s three favorite tips, from Jwoww herself:

* Men love a lady who has skills: Let’s be honest — guys say they’re looking for someone pure and respectable to bring home to Mama, but they’re secretly praying she’s a f*****g nympho with a bachelor’s degree in banking.

Hmmm... a bachelor's in banking...

* Never leave home without condoms, your cell phone, cash and a change of panties.

You stay classy, New York.

* “Sloppy drunk” is not a good look on anyone: You will most likely do something-or somebody-that you’ll regret in the morning.

No! Since when? It always works for Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan...

Oh, right. Never mind.

The book also teaches us that as an only child, raised by her “hippie” dad outside Saratoga, N.Y., Jwoww considered herself a tomboy! A graduate of New York Institute of Technology she has two degrees, one in computer programming and a BFA in fine arts and animation. This training paved the way for her to own and operate a graphic design business and a now-defunct clothing company. Unlike many overnight celebs of late, this hardworker has something to fall back on besides… well, her backside.

Clever.


*Huh? Look here.