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Friday, February 04, 2011

Fyodor's Super Bowl XLV picks.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.

Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Super Bowl XLV

Sunday February 6


Pittsburgh (+3) vs. Green Bay
I think the Steelers' defense will make Aaron Rodgers look worse than he really is and the Black and Gold should win their seventh title by seven points. I'll also take the over (44 1/2).
FINAL: Packers 31 Steelers 25 - Fyodor loses! (I got the total right, but that is no consolation at all.)

The defense played well enough to win, but the turnovers were the difference. I trust the Steelers and their fans won't blame the officials or their failure to sacrifice the proper number of goats to Wotan or whatever, like some people do. (Yes, Seattle, that's a shot at you.) You see, kiddies, winners know that when they lose it happens because they were outplayed. Congrats to the Packers and their fans. Let's do it again next year, shall we?

Memo to the NFLPA and the owners: Don't screw this up. Remember baseball was king once upon a time...

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First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct. "My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up. What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.

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