SEX IS DEATH. (Ho-Ho-Ho)

From CBS 47 in Fresno:

Bakersfield Doctor Suffocated in Chimney

The Kern County Coroner says 49-year-old Jacquelyn Katarac died of asphyxiation.

Police believe she tried to slide down the chimney to get into a home to confront a boyfriend she was having problems with.

Police believe she got stuck in the chimney Wednesday night but her body was not discovered until late Saturday night. Firefighters had to take the brick chimney apart to get Dr. Kotarac out.

Investigators say the boyfriend was out of the country at the time and there is no evidence of foul play in the woman’s death.

As you well know, kiddies, there is foul play and then there is foul play.

From Bakersfield.com:

Estranged boyfriend of doctor found in chimney speaks out

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac was a very intelligent, attractive woman and a gifted doctor, estranged boyfriend William Moodie said.

That's awfully nice of him.

In fact, her attention to detail and connections within the medical community resulted in Moodie getting a new heart valve, Moodie said Wednesday evening. She listened to his chest, noticed something was wrong, and drove him to UCLA Medical Center to meet with the chief of cardiothoracic surgery.

That doctor agreed with Kotarac and the heart valve was replaced, Moodie said.

"She was absolutely brilliant as a doctor," he said.

Brilliant!

Kotarac's badly decomposed body was found Saturday wedged in the chimney of Moodie's house. Bakersfield police believe she had been there about three days, since trying to force her way into the house on the evening of Aug. 25.

With all due respect, does anyone ever decompose well? Was she well-accessorized?

Wait a minute...What? She tried to force her way in?

Kotarac, 49, showed up at the house that night and Moodie, not wanting a confrontation, slipped out the back door when she arrived, police said. [Smooth. - F.G.] She apparently used a shovel to try to force open the back door of the home in the 4300 block of La Mirada Drive, police said.

With all due respect, doesn't she sound like a stalker? Or worse? If she was a guy trying that shovel trick, she would have been shot and killed.

Moodie, 58, spent the night someplace else, according to police.

Where he hid from his brilliant, compassionate, on-again, off-again sex partner.

At some point, Kotarac used a ladder to get to the roof, removed the chimney cap and slid down the flue feet first, police said. Her body was found stuck near the bottom of the flue. [So close and yet so far. - F.G.] The coroner's office reported she died from being unable to breathe and her death was an accident. Police said Moodie was never a suspect.

Moodie declined to talk about his relationship with Kotarac or what their status was as a couple when she showed up that night.

Golly, I'll bet she just wanted to talk about their relationship. And the shovel.

But he's tired of people saying negative things about her and said it's time to leave her alone.

It is much easier to respect the dead. For one thing, you don't have to worry about them breaking into your house and caving your melon in with a shovel.

"She made a horrendously bad decision and paid for it with her life," Moodie said.

Just one bad one, Billy? Was it the chimney decision? Or possibly the shovel one? Maybe it was refusing to fall out of "love" with you.

He remembers Kotarac, whom he knew for three to three and a half years, as a tremendously giving person who even provided free medical service to some people. Kotarac, a 1991 graduate of UCLA Medical School, was an internal medicine doctor who worked out of an office on San Dimas Street.

As far as hobbies, she was a lifelong fan of equestrian events and owned horses when she was younger. Moodie said he and Kotarac attended a horse jumping competition in Las Vegas, and she often went to see horses race.

Horsies are pretty.

Although her busy schedule often didn't allow it, Kotarac also loved to travel, Moodie said.

Police said Kotarac had an airplane ticket to go to Amsterdam with Moodie the Friday after she went missing. [On again. - F.G.] Moodie and an office assistant of Kotarac's searched his house Thursday and reported her missing to police because her car and purse were there.

Definitely off. Again.

Moodie spent the night at his home Thursday and then went on the trip. Police searched the home Friday evening, but found nothing.

Memo to all you murderers out there: You have approximately three days [somewhat longer in colder climes like Canada] before the local constabulary can smell your rotting victim.

It wasn't until a woman checking on Moodie's fish tank noticed a foul odor Saturday and inspected the chimney flue that Kotarac's body was discovered.

Fishies are pretty, too.

That smell is going to linger, kiddies.

Moodie said he's been staying in hotels since returning to Bakersfield and he won't live in the house. He said he'll have it repaired -- the chimney had to be dismantled to remove the body -- but he imagines there will be some issues selling the home with the notoriety it now has.

Huh. Imagine that...lower property values.

Moodie said it's been a difficult time, and Kotarac's death has had an enormous impact on him.

Not as enormous as she probably wanted to have. [See shovel part of the story, above.]

"I feel this incredible sense of loss," he said. "It's very hard to accept the fact that she's gone."

He said, with a sigh of relief.