24's Body Count Update: The day is done.

From Right Wing Nuthouse:

BODY COUNT

This year’s body count for the show is surprisingly close to last year’s totals. We don’t know how many died in the submarine nor do we know a few other loose ends like Evelyn and her 8 year old daughter left by Henderson’s men in the motel room as well as a few others. But Jack’s total of 42 from last year is close to this year’s butcher’s bill.

Petty Officer accounted for one terrorist while Jack, using a tremendous variety of weapons (including his thunder thighs) took care of 5 bad guys. Poor Agent McCullough should have called in sick.


JACK: 35

SHOW: 200

MARTHA: 1

Thanks to Jack, Chloe, her ex-husband (!!! Who reminds me of Alexei Sayle) Lady MacDeath, the bleeding Secret Service dude, and Mike Novick, (based loosely, I believe, on Pat Buchanan) Amerikkka has been made safe until next season, even though the omnipotent Men With Phones In Their Ears are still at large and unidentified. If soon-to-be-ex-President Hilter is going to cut a deal to save himself from the hangman's noose (Ha!) it seems natural that he would roll over on the MWPITE and live out his days in a minimum security federal country club.

Kudos to Lady MacDeath for keeping all the booze and pills down while doing the nasty with Hilter. If he's supposed to be nixonian, then he's a quaker. One can only imagine the ickiness involved in the pale quakerish imitation of conjugal relations.

Kudos to Jack for whacking Buckaroo Banzai with absolutely no pretense of bourgeois legalism. Hugo Chavez is in heat.

Why couldn't Audrey have died?

Chloe was too broken up over Edgar's death to hook up with Curtis. And her limey ex looks like a dead end. My guess is Chloe will console herself during the terrorist offseason by watching old tapes of Family Feud starring Louie Anderson.

Loose ends:

Kim Bauer and her therapist-cum-molester.
SecDef William Devane.
Lady MacDeath's lady-in-wating and her daughter.
Wayne Palmer, Curtis, and every other black guy on the show. Ever.
Buckaroo Banzai's wife.
The guy Chloe tasered twice in the bar.
The vampire cop from Toronto. (There's no way a couple dozen rounds of automatic weapons fire is going to keep him down.)

It's going to be a long six months, kiddies. I can't wait to see how Jack will defeat the Chinese commies and their robot/slave army of two billion.