Yeah, I know...but look at her! Michelle Wie is my guiltiest pleasure.

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette:

Oh my goodness, just look at that pout.

Yes,

She's petulant and potty-mouthed.

She isn't as good a golfer as we were led to believe.

She's spoiled.

She's...

She's...

She's a blonde now!

And don't get me started on those knee socks, an innovation that may have saved women's golf.

Holy Crap! The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is 25!

 From Mashable:

Celebrating 25 trashy years of The Garbage Pail Kids

On August 22, 1987, a group of vile and unlucky kids with abnormally large noggins went Hollywood with the release of The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. 

Widely regarded as one of the worst films of all-time (sorry, Howard the Duck!), the Kids hold a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. A New York Times critic even described the Razzie-nominated flick as “too repulsive for children or adults of any age.”

Like The Old Gray Whore is wholesome entertainment!

To honor the 25 year anniversary of this cinematic pièce de cráp-stance, we not only dug up the original movie trailer, but also collected 25 classic Garbage Pail Kids cards.

Flip through the gallery for a childhood flashback filled with gross bodily functions, dismemberment and other things that will turn your stomach while putting a smile on your face. 

1. Up Chuck

Image courtesy of GPK World

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2. Mona Loser

Image courtesy of efigment

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3. Moist Joyce

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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4. Jack O. Lantern

Image courtesy of buckygail

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5. Barbie Q.

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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6. Mixed Up Mitch

Image courtesy of kmlawson

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7. Suckin' Sybil

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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8. Haley's Vomit

Image courtesy of GPK World

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9. Stu Spew

Image courtesy of GPK World

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10. Many Lenny

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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11. Furry Fran

Image courtesy of GPK World

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12. Dryin' Ryan

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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13. Nasal Hazel

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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14. Chopper Chopped Chris

Image courtesy of lockergnome

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15. Midge Fridge

Image courtesy of MetaGrrrl

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16. John John

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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17. Claire Stare

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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18. Muddy Maude

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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19. Sticky Ricky

Image courtesy of ribboncontroller

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20. Trash-Can Ken

Image courtesy of jasonprini

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21. Shaggy Aggie

Image courtesy of liquidnight

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22. Dyin' Dinah

Image courtesy of MetaGrrrl

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23. Cranky Frankie

Image courtesy of GPK World

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24. Heartless Hal

Image courtesy of GPK World

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25. Adam Bomb

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Various and sundry zombie-related items for your reading pleasure.

Bank of America to Stop "Zombie Account" Practice 

-  PR Newswire via Yahoo! News 

  

Plants vs Zombies

Use Peashooters and Melon-Pults To keep Zombies Away!

- www.GameHouse.com

Face-Eating Victim Speaks

- LiveScience.com via Yahoo! News

 

Terrifying Zombies Run Amok in NYC to Protest AMC Drop from Dish Network [VIDEO]

 - Mashable via Yahoo! News

 

New Summer Fashion Trends for Men Are Zombies, Vintage and Witty

-   PRWeb via Yahoo! News

 

 

 

Big surprise. Only zombies would work at a hellhole like Disney, anyway.

From Mashable:

Zombie Disney Princesses Seek Prince Charming - and Brains

Prince Charming better have good looks, a fine pedigree and brains — big plump brains.

Deviant Art user clocktowerman gave the frilly Disney princesses a taste for gray matter with dazzling zombie makeovers. 

Coming soon to a theater near you: Snow White and the Seven Corpse.

 1. Zombie Belle

Image courtesy of clocktowerman on Deviant Art

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2. Zombie Cinderella

Image courtesy of clocktowerman on Deviant Art

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3. Zombie Snow White

Image courtesy of clocktowerman on Deviant Art

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4. Zombie Ariel

Image courtesy of clocktowerman on Deviant Art

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Bonus: Steampunk Cyborg Zombie Jedi Vampire Ariel

Image courtesy of kevinbolk on Deviant Art

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Comics help.

Chicks, man... 

SEX IS DEATH. [Plead to voluntary retroactive abortion by reason of newfound homosexuality]

I came to Carthage, where I found myself in the midst of a hissing cauldron of lusts. I had not yet fallen in love, but I was in love with the idea of it, and this feeling that something was missing made me despise myself for not being more anxious to satisfy the need. I began to look around for some object for my love, since I badly wanted to love something. — St. Augustine, Confessions


At the very least, he can easily claim that he came to the realization that babies and vaginas are icky...

From the freedom-loving geniuses at Lancasteronline.com:

Man accused of killing pregnant girlfriend 

Matthew Scott Becker, who is accused of killing his pregnant girlfriend last summer, did not want her to have the baby, according to statements included in a pretrial motion.

The statements also indicate his girlfriend, 21-year-old Allison Walsh, desperately wanted out of the relationship.

"I am so tempted to just pack all my (belongings) up, but I'm deathly afraid of his reaction," Walsh told a relative three weeks before she was killed, according to the motion. "He'll "probably flip out and pull a gun on me, knowing him."

Police allege that's exactly what happened on Aug. 12, 2011, inside a Mastersonville home where the couple lived. Becker shot Walsh once in the head, according to police, and she and her unborn baby girl died.

Becker claimed the gun went off accidentally. In police interviews recently played in court, Becker said he was extremely distraught, calling Walsh and the baby his "world."

Forensic examinations of Becker's and Walsh's computers portray Becker as an abusive companion who wanted nothing to do with Walsh or the baby that was due in September 2011, according to the motion filed in court.

Becker "was not excited about her pregnancy and wanted Allison Walsh to terminate the pregnancy," a prosecutor writes in the lengthy motion.

In fact, Becker was pursuing a relationship with a man, according to the motion.
Lancaster County President Judge Joseph Madenspacher will decide whether the statements made to investigators will be allowed as evidence at Becker's trial, scheduled for January. Madenspacher said Tuesday that he should make his decision by month's end.

Prosecutors have said they will seek the death penalty if Becker is convicted of first-degree murder.

Becker's defense team is arguing the evidence is inflammatory. They also claim that many statements Becker made to police were taken against his will. In those statements, Becker admitted that he shot Walsh but not intentionally.

The prosecutor's motion contains conversations between Walsh and her relatives that allude to Becker's allegedly abusive nature and several threats he made with weapons.

One time, Walsh told relatives that Becker held a knife to her and said, "You can't do anything. I can kill you so easily," according to the motion.

Walsh told relatives that was not the only time Becker threatened her with weapons.

"He would just freak out," she told relatives, according to the motion.

Walsh had formed a plan in the summer of 2011 to move out, the motion reads. She planned to either move to her mother's home in New Jersey or return to her father's home when her sister left for college in the fall.

"I just hate to swallow my pride," she told a relative on July 21, 2011, according to the motion.

Investigators, who examined Becker's computer, also discovered that he was soliciting men for sex less than a month before Walsh was killed, the motion reads.

 There you go. He just couldn't spoon with the "man" of his dreams if he had some chick and a kid for whom he was responsible. All he needs is a lawyer who can get him into the federal courts on appeal. It will then be easy to claim he's being persecuted by "homophobic" right-wing Christian nazis.

Becker "solicits individuals to meet and engage in various sexual activities," a prosecutor writes in the motion.

"My girlfriend doesn't know and I think it may be better that way for now," Becker wrote to one man, according to the motion.

"I'm kind of doing this behind my girlfriend's back," he told another man.

A specific date was arranged with at least one man, but that man canceled at the last minute, according to the motion.

The defense should find that guy and vilify him as causing the double homicide by breaking La Becker's heart. Juries just love stories of passion and love.

Assistant District Attorney Mark Fetterman and Assistant District Attorney Deborah Greathouse, filed the motion for the prosecution.

Allentown lawyer Dennis Charles leads Becker's defense team.

Madenspacher, in his impending ruling, may allow all of the evidence, parts of it or none of it at Becker's trial.

At least some of Sandusky's statutory homosexual rape victims got to see a bowl game.

The response of the Party of Blasphemy, Buggery, and "Bortion? Make sure there are condom vending machines at all rest stops.

From AP via Yahoo News:

Minnesota lawmaker in rest-stop scandal still silent

The Minnesota state lawmaker involved in a sex scandal involving a 17-year-old boy at a rest stop maintained his public silence Tuesday as another Democratic candidate for his seat emerged.

Rep. Kerry Gauthier, a Democrat from Duluth, has yet to comment on the scandal or his political plans, though Democratic leaders are urging him to withdraw from the race and Republicans have pressed him to resign immediately. Meanwhile, Duluth firefighter Erik Simonson launched a bid as a write-in Democratic candidate for Gauthier's seat at the Duluth Zoo on Tuesday.

Gauthier didn't immediately return a voice mail message from The Associated Press.

Authorities have said Gauthier, 56, admitted having a liason with the boy. They say he won't be charged in the July incident because the boy was older than 16, the legal age of consent, and no money was exchanged.

The scandal has called a reliably Democratic seat into question as Democrats try to regain control of the House by winning at least six more seats in November. 

Democratic House Minority Leader Paul Thissen and Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party Chairman Ken Martin on Monday called on Gauthier to withdraw from the race.

Thissen said he is looking at state law for a way to replace Gauthier on the ballot if Gauthier formally withdraws from the race.

"I think that would be the fairest thing for the people of Duluth," Thissen said.

Gauthier may have to break his silence as soon as Friday, when the Minnesota Legislature is expected to meet in special session to vote on a flood relief package for Duluth and other communities hit by June flash floods. Parts of Gauthier's district sustained extensive damage, and he had been an outspoken supporter of the state aid before the scandal became public.

The leader of the local Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party said party activists would like to hear from Gauthier about his political plans. Senate District 7 DFL Chairman John Schwetman said the party is looking into its options but would prefer an announcement from the first-term incumbent, who received the party's endorsement in March.

"We're all waiting to hear what Rep. Gauthier chooses to do," Schwetman said.

Simonson, an assistant fire chief and president of the local firefighters union, said he is assuming Gauthier won't remain in the race. Simonson told AP he informed Gauthier of his plan to run for the seat but Gauthier gave no indication of his own plans.

"I wanted to let him know what was happening before he heard about it on the news," Simonson said.

Duluth City Councilor Jay Fosle has also filed paperwork to run as a write-in candidate.

Republican Travis Silvers is already on the ballot.

Todd Akin is a moron, but...

...Geoge Neumayr of The American Spectator has a point: Repansycanism is much worse than stupidity and the Party of Blasphemy, Buggery, and 'Bortion shouldn't be allowed to define morality.

Cowed by Political Correctness by George Neumayr

[All emphasis below is mine. - F.G.]

Todd Akin is a man unfit for the U.S. Senate, all sides seemed to agree this week, whipping themselves up into a sanctimonious fury over his foolish aside about female biology. We heard this week a lot about "insensitivity" to violence from establishment elites who blithely accept violence in the womb. We heard gasps about dangerously narrow definitions of "rape" from defenders of Bill Clinton (who surely appreciated Akin's "legitimate" distinction if no one else did) and from apologists for Roman Polanski, who, as Whoopi Goldberg once asserted, never engaged in "rape-rape."

And let's not forget that Barack Obama hired as one of his top Department of Education officials a gay-rights activist named Kevin Jennings, who once glibly counseled a "15-year-old" student thought to have been statutorily raped by an older man: "I hope you knew to use a condom." Jennings is also known for having been "inspired" by Harry Hay, a supporter of the North American Man Boy Love Association.

Don't expect Obama to receive any questions from the press about these views of his first "Safe Schools Czar." No, outrage in this culture is restricted to those deemed unenlightened in the nuances of avant-garde morality. According to its porous scorecard, Christianity is bad for women while Islam is good for them. Pro-life countries receive scoldings from Hillary Clinton, while the one-child policy of China, which kills female infants, isn't "second-guessed" by this administration, as Joe Biden put it on a visit.

In a culture that panders to pro-abortion feminists like Sandra Fluke, thought crimes always rank higher than real ones. Words, not deeds, drive pols from public life. So Akin has to go. He simply harbors the wrong thoughts and no apology will be sufficient from him until he changes his position on abortion. 

Beneath all the hysterical extrapolations from his remark, which grew wilder and wilder as the days passed, lay that essential demand: approve of killing unborn children conceived under circumstances of rape or be deemed "anti-woman."

This culture of hectoring explains why Mitt Romney rushed to the cameras upon hearing Akin's remark to pronounce abortion in those cases "appropriate." In a rotten culture, proof of one's "civilized" bona fides comes from such shameless pandering.

Mittens is a Big Government, Big Babykilling Repansycan. Period.

An authentically conservative party would find Romney's unprincipled position far more chilling than Akin's gaffe. If unborn children gain or lose their right to life depending upon the circumstances of their conception, then the party has already conceded that that right doesn't exist. Ronald Reagan understood the implications of that concession and never wavered in his defense of the right to life of all unborn children, not just some of them.

Instead of rejecting this media-determined culture of empty and opportunistic outrage, which rests on nothing more than poisonous Planned Parenthood-style propaganda, panicky GOP officials reinforced it this week by treating Akin as a monstrous leper. His stupid remark was thereby turned into a supposedly wicked one and treated as a great crisis for the party.

A party less cowed by political correctness and less in thrall to conventional wisdom wouldn't have cannibalized its own so quickly. Even from a narrowly strategic standpoint, the frothing made little sense. 

Without even bothering to consult grassroots Missouri conservatives who elected him or even find out if they had a viable plan B, RNC officials called for Akin to be obliterated and ruled out any future money to him. 

Didn't it occur to anybody that he might stay in the race, in which case these fulminations would simply serve to hand victory to the Dems before the race even began? For all the talk about "pragmatism" and "diplomacy" this week from country club Republicans, they didn't display any towards a candidate who won a primary fair and square. Is this how the Romney administration plans to conduct diplomacy?

Making a bad situation worse, party bosses joined the media mob in brutalizing Aiken not for any high crime but for a single dumb remark. The same country club Republicans who rallied around Arnold Schwarzenegger after he was credibly accused of assaulting women demanded that the Missouri congressman leave the race immediately for a mere comment. If social conservatives had any doubt as to their disposable status in the party -- which they shouldn't , since they have been treated like fodder for years -- they can add the hair-trigger purging of Akin to their list of complaints.

In Romney's GOP, moderates can make any number of mistakes (starting at the top of the ticket) but conservatives are called to perfection. Should they fail, GOP officials will waste no time sacrificing them to the gods of political correctness.

I can't feel guilty about these.